The Best 35 Bruce Willis Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bruce Willis jokes. There are some bruce willis vance jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bruce willis keith puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bruce Willis Jokes and Puns

My wife said she would leave me if I don't stop comparing everything to Bruce Willis movies, but you know what they say about old habits...

They Pulp Fiction.

Apparently Bruce Willis is only going to concentrate on action films from now on...

because you know what they say about old habits...

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party

and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same roles.

You know what they say about old habits.

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster:

The Great Composers!
"I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone.
"I gotta be Mozart," retorted Willis.
"What about you, Arnie?" they asked....


Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films

Because you know what they say about old habits...

I have an addiction to making references to random Bruce Willis movie titles. People have tried to help me stop but you know what they say. Old habits...

Pulp Fiction

Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies forever.

You know what they say about old habits.

Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row?

He was a Die Hard fan.

My wife got mad at me for my long-term addiction to watching Bruce Willis movies.

I told her old habits die hard

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg

Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...

Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'

Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'

Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'

You can explore bruce willis allan reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bruce willis wesley dad jokes. There are also bruce willis puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I'm a huge fan of ALL of Bruce Willis's work. I've seen every movie he's in.

I guess you can say.. I'm a Die Hard fan.

Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers...

Bruce Willis says "I'll be Mozart", Chuck Norris says "I'll be Beethoven" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach".

I once met Bruce Willis

I once met Bruce Willis at a fancy dress party. He was wearing a really shabby looking nun outfit. I was told that he'd worn the same costume to every fancy dress party he'd attended for years. I suppose old habits die hard.

Did you hear about the new Bruce Willis movie?

Bruce Willis has to go undercover in a retirement home for nuns to stop a terrorist plot.

It's called "Old Habits Die Hard".

What does Bruce Willis, a donkey with sunglasses on, and my ex have in common?

They're all bad ass.

Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel.

Old Hobbits Die Hard.

Why did Bruce Willis die with a smile on his face?

Because he died hard.

Did you hear that Bruce Willis is going to star in a movie where he goes undercover as an elderly nun?

It's called Old Habits Die Hard


Who should have played Bilbo?

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

How much tax does Bruce Willis pay on a dollar?

Six cents.

Hollywood Halloween

Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone were discussing their next Halloween costumes. They wanted to get away from the typical scary characters and do something different.

Bruce: 'how about historical figures? I'll go as Freud.'

Sly: 'ok, sounds good. I'll go as Leonardo Da Vinci.'

Arnold Schwarzenegger overhears their discussion, walks over and replies 'I'll be Bach.'

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Cruise, and Bruce Willis said they wanted to star in a movie about classical musicians.

Bruce Willis said I'll play Mozart!

Tom Cruise said I'll play Beethoven!

Arnold said I'll be Bach

Bruce Willis and Liam Neeson have signed up to do a movie together

It's called 'Taken Hard'

I really love Bruce Willis. I have all of his movies, hundreds of posters, and multiple autographs

You might say that I'm a die-hard fan

Why does Bruce Willis keep making action movies?

Because his old habits, die hard.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue? [OC]

Icy dead people!

I'm a die hard Bruce Willis fan.

I used to watch lots of Bruce Willis movies, but now I don't.

I guess old habits Die Hard.

^Someone ^please ^slap ^me.

^

It turns out Fire! isn't the worst thing you can yell out in a crowded movie theater.

It's Bruce Willis is dead!

What title would a hurricane movie with Bruce Willis have?

Irmageddon.

Bruce Willis died having sex.

He died hard.

What does Bruce Willis say when he finds the zip ties?

Zippy tie-yay motherf***er.

My father has always been obsessed with Bruce Willis movies ...

I guess he was a die-hard fan ...

Have you heard about Bruce Willis' new movie in which he has to infiltrate a Nunnery?

"Bad Habits Die Hard."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bruce willis greene jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bruce willis gilmore girls piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes