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Bruce Jokes

171 bruce jokes and hilarious bruce puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bruce that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This funny article is a round-up of the best Bruce jokes. From a comparison between comic book hero Bruce Wayne and security expert Bruce Schneier to a roast of Bruce Willis, there are plenty of humorous references to the Bruce name. Whether you're looking for witty puns about the Batcave or light-hearted Catwoman jokes, this article has it all!

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Funniest Bruce Short Jokes

Short bruce jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bruce humour may include short bruce willis jokes also.

  1. Bruce Jenner winning woman of the year just proves that men are better than women at everything, including being a woman
  2. Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub." Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"
  3. My wife said she would leave me if I don't stop comparing everything to Bruce Willis movies, but you know what they say about old habits... They Pulp Fiction.
  4. One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself "The Man of Bats..." It was his Nana's Nana's Nana's Nana's Batman.
  5. Apparently Bruce Willis is only going to concentrate on action films from now on... because you know what they say about old habits...
  6. If Bruce Wayne overcame his fear of bats by becoming his phobia... why am I still afraid of failure?
  7. I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was.. Apparently Bruce Jenner was "inappropriate."
  8. What do Bruce Lee and the donkey from Shrek have in common? They have both entered the dragon.
  9. Why is bruce lee so good at telling jokes? Because if his punch line doesn't work, you still get a kick out of it.
  10. Batjoke Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."
    Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"

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Bruce One Liners

Which bruce one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bruce? I can suggest the ones about bruce wayne and bruce name.

  1. Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother… Sudden Lee
  2. Who's the lamest of all the X-men? Bruce Jenner
  3. Today i have met the vegetarian brother of Bruce Lee Brocco Lee
  4. Bruce Jenner should legally change his name to Trans
  5. Hear that Bruce Lee had a vegetarian son? Brock Lee.
  6. I met Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother Broco Lee
  7. What was Bruce Lees vegetarian brothers name? Broco Lee
  8. Bruce Lee was fast But his brother, Sudden, was faster.
  9. Bruce lee was fast but do you know about his even faster brother? Sudden Lee
  10. Bruce Lee had a Vegan Brother His name was Broco Lee
  11. What does Bruce Lee order in Burger King? WOPPAAAH!
  12. I met Bruce Lee's vegan brother today. His name is Brocko Lee.
  13. What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WATAAAAAAAAH!!!!
  14. you know what Bruce Lee's favorite drink was? WATAHHH!!!!
  15. What does Bruce Lee order at Burger King? A *WHOPPA*!

Bruce Lee Jokes

Here is a list of funny bruce lee jokes and even better bruce lee puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you know Bruce Lee had a son other than Brandon? He was a famous vegetarian. His name was Brock.
  • At the Burger King drive through I said I'll have Bruce Lee's favorite burger please The cashier said what's that?
    So I said A whopaaaaaaaa
  • Bruce Lee walks into a bar... And the bartender goes: "Woah! You're Bruce Lee! What can I get for you?"
    "WAH-TAH!"
  • How do you call Bruce Lee's vegan cousin? Broco Lee
  • Who is the vegan cousin of Bruce Lee? Broccoli
  • I've just discovered Bruce Lee had a vegetarian brother… Broco Lee
  • I just found out that Bruce Lee had a vegan brother Broco Lee
  • What's the name of Bruce Lee's vegetarian cousin? BrocoLee
  • What do you get when you cross Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris? Beat up.
  • Bruce Lee's favorite drink Wataaaaa!!!

Bruce Jenner Jokes

Here is a list of funny bruce jenner jokes and even better bruce jenner puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Caitlyn Jenner came out today and said she was groped by Bruce Jenner over several years
  • I feel sorry for Bruce Jenner. He should have never admitted that he is a Republican. Some things are just better kept in the closet.
  • Guess what Bruce Jenner doesn't want to hear and see anymore? "Deez Nutz"
  • What is Bruce Jenner's nephew's favorite movie? Aunt Man
  • Ruffled feathers ahead. What do you call a woman that is never late, can actually drive a car and doesn't need help killing spiders? Bruce Jenner.
  • I remember seeing Bruce Jenner on Wheaties boxes as a kid and wanting to be him. Apparently he looked at Wheaties boxes and wanted to be Mary Lou Retton
  • What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner? One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger.
  • Kris Jenner has filed for divorce from Bruce Jenner... She is asking for publicity during this difficult time.
  • Name an X-Man that is also a Transformer Bruce Jenner
  • My boss asked me which of the X-men was my favorite Apparently Bruce Jenner was not an appropriate answer.
Bruce joke, My boss asked me which of the X-men was my favorite

Bruce Willis Jokes

Here is a list of funny bruce willis jokes and even better bruce willis puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same roles. You know what they say about old habits.
  • Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films Because you know what they say about old habits...
  • I have an addiction to making references to random Bruce Willis movie titles. People have tried to help me stop but you know what they say. Old habits... Pulp Fiction
  • Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies forever. You know what they say about old habits.
  • Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row? He was a Die Hard fan.
  • My wife got mad at me for my long-term addiction to watching Bruce Willis movies. I told her old habits die hard
  • I'm a huge fan of ALL of Bruce Willis's work. I've seen every movie he's in. I guess you can say.. I'm a Die Hard fan.
  • Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel. Old Hobbits Die Hard.
  • Why did Bruce Willis die with a smile on his face? Because he died hard.
  • Did you hear that Bruce Willis is going to star in a movie where he goes undercover as an elderly nun? It's called Old Habits Die Hard

Bruce Wayne Jokes

Here is a list of funny bruce wayne jokes and even better bruce wayne puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does the Jewish Bruce Wayne drive? The Shabbat-Mobile.
  • What travels down an alley and has holes in it? Bruce Wayne's parents
  • What does Bruce Wayne take with his drink? Just ice.
  • What did Bruce Wayne say to the hungry squirrel? YOU WANNA GET NUTS?
    C'mon, let's get nuts.
  • What's Bruce Wayne's dad's superpower? Invisibility
  • Bruce Wayne walks into a bar, and the bartender says, 'What would you like?' ... 'Parents.'
  • I saw a guy named "Wayne Bruce" at work I said, "My nemicice, Man-bat, we meet again." Most people didn't get it.
    EDIT. Nemesis
  • Riffing on the young Bruce Wayne's lines in "Gotham:" "He has to tell his own dad jokes."
  • What did Bruce Wayne say when Wayne enterprises was dying? My business is wayne-ing.
  • In his later years Bruce Wayne retired and became a famous poet Apparently, he went from bat to verse.
Bruce joke, In his later years Bruce Wayne retired and became a famous poet

Silly Bruce Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about bruce you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bruce lee jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bruce pranks.

What is a ninja's favorite beverage?

WA-TAHHHHH!

What is Bruce Lee's beverage of choice?

WATAAAAAR

What do you call Bruce Lee stuffed in a shell?

A crustacean

Bruce Willis, arnold schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party

and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds.

I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, "Whoa! I'm way too high!"
-Bruce Baum

What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?

WA-TA!

1.What is Bruce Lee's favorite beverage?

WATAAAH!
2.What is Bruce Lee's favorite hamburger?
WHOPPAH!
3.Which hotel does Bruce Lee stay overnight?
HYAAAAATT!

What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?

WatAHHH!!

Joke from my daughter.

What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?
HULK'S MASH!
no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle

The difference between Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee?

Why does Chuck Norris have a lot of jokes but Bruce Lee doesn't?
Because Bruce Lee is no joke...

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg

Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...
Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'
Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'
Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'

Alfred : Master Bruce, Quess Who I Saw Today?

Bruce Wayne : Who?
Alfred : Not Your Parents.
Bruce Wayne : Why You're Doing This Alfred?
Alfred : They Told Me To
Bruce Wayne : Who?
Alfred : Not Your Parents.

Why can't Bruce Jenner drive a KIA?

Because they have t**... problems too

Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce stalking around with a fly swatter...

"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

Dasher, dancer, prancer, and v**....

The four stages of Bruce Jenner.

I saw leaked footage of Finding Dory yesterday

Bruce the shark is now called Caitlyn.

Why is Batman so jealous of Superman?

Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2

So I heard that Bruce Lee had children

apparently

What was Bruce Lee's favorite drink?

Waattaaah!

I once met Bruce Willis

I once met Bruce Willis at a fancy dress party. He was wearing a really shabby looking nun outfit. I was told that he'd worn the same costume to every fancy dress party he'd attended for years. I suppose old habits die hard.

What's Bruce Lee's favorite car?

Kiaaaaaaaa

What is the name of Bruce Lee's crippled brother?

Broccoli

Shazza walks into the kitchen and finds Bruce with a fly swatter.

"Waddaya doin?" She asked. 
"Huntin Flies" He responded. 
"Oh. Kill any?" She asked. 
"Yep, 3 blokes, 2 sheilas," he replied. 
Intrigued, she asked. "How'd ya know that?" 
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers...

Bruce Willis says "I'll be Mozart", Chuck Norris says "I'll be Beethoven" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach".

What do you call sodium chloride beating someone up with Bruce Lee's corpse?

A salt with a dead Lee weapon

Bruce Lee Charged With Carrying A Concealed Weapon.

He had his hands in his pockets.

Bruce Lee walks into a Burger King...

and orders and WHOPPPAAAA!!!

What is Bruce Lee's favourite drink?

Water.

If Dr. Bruce Banner always cites his sources

Does that make him the credible hulk?

How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe?

Hang him on the wall. Now he's a Bruce Banner.

An Australian man is walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his ex-girlfriend standing on the railings ...

An Australian man is walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his ex\-girlfriend standing on the railings, about to commit s**.... He apporaches her and asks:
\- Hey Sheila, what's the matter?
Tears in here eyes, she says:
\- I'm pregnant Bruce, and it's your baby!
To which Bruce replies:
\- Woah Sheila, not only are you brilliant in bed \- you're also a great sport!

What was Bruce Lee's beverage of choice?

WAH-TAH!

What does a trebuchet in a convent and Bruce Lee have in common?

They're both nunchuckers.

Yes lame but it's OC

What's the difference between an open box of stinky cheese and a Kung Fu master?

One is loose brie and the other is Bruce Lee

I went to see my mate Bruce today and asked his wife where he was.

She said he's out the back in the garden. I had a quick look but couldn't see him so went to ask his wife again.
She said, he's out there, you just have to dig a little deeper .

Bruce Lee had a vegan brother

Brock Lee

What do you call Bruce Lee pulling a Radio Flyer?

Enter the wagon.

Due to the recent cutbacks caused by the coronavirus Bruce was told he had to terminate one of his compliance managers.

Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you or j**.... Without batting an eye she responded "you better j**..., I have a terrible headache."

If Bruce Lee had a vegan brother, what would his name be?

Broccoli

Bruce joke, If Bruce Lee had a vegan brother, what would his name be?

jokes about bruce