The Best 93 Bruce Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Bruce jokes. There are some bruce gotham jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bruce bruce willis puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Bruce Jokes and Puns
What is a ninja's favorite beverage?
WA-TAHHHHH!
you know what Bruce Lee's favorite drink was?
WATAHHH!!!!
What is Bruce Lee's beverage of choice?
WATAAAAAR
Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row?
He was a Die Hard fan.
Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films
Because you know what they say about old habits...
Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party
and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".
What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
WA-TA!
Apparently Bruce Willis is only going to concentrate on action films from now on...
because you know what they say about old habits...
Kris Jenner has filed for divorce from Bruce Jenner...
She is asking for publicity during this difficult time.
Bruce Lee's favorite drink
Wataaaaa!!!
What does the Jewish Bruce Wayne drive?
The Shabbat-Mobile.
You can explore bruce doug reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bruce wayne dad jokes. There are also bruce puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
WatAHHH!!
Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same roles.
You know what they say about old habits.
Joke from my daughter.
What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?
HULK'S MASH!
no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle
Guess what Bruce Jenner doesn't want to hear and see anymore?
"Deez Nutz"
I feel sorry for Bruce Jenner.
He should have never admitted that he is a Republican. Some things are just better kept in the closet.
What was Bruce Lees vegetarian brothers name?
Broco Lee
Bruce Jenner should legally change his name to Trans
The difference between Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee?
Why does Chuck Norris have a lot of jokes but Bruce Lee doesn't?
Because Bruce Lee is no joke...
Ruffled feathers ahead.
What do you call a woman that is never late, can actually drive a car and doesn't need help killing spiders? Bruce Jenner.
A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg
Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...
Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'
Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'
Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'
What is Bruce Jenner's nephew's favorite movie?
Aunt Man
I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was..
Apparently Bruce Jenner was "inappropriate."
Alfred : Master Bruce, Quess Who I Saw Today?
Bruce Wayne : Who?
Alfred : Not Your Parents.
Bruce Wayne : Why You're Doing This Alfred?
Alfred : They Told Me To
Bruce Wayne : Who?
Alfred : Not Your Parents.
Why can't Bruce Jenner drive a KIA?
Because they have tranny problems too
Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce stalking around with a fly swatter...
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
Bruce Jenner winning woman of the year just proves that men are better than women at everything, including being a woman
Dasher, dancer, prancer, and vixen.
The four stages of Bruce Jenner.
What do you get when you cross Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris?
Beat up.
I saw leaked footage of Finding Dory yesterday
Bruce the shark is now called Caitlyn.
My wife got mad at me for my long-term addiction to watching Bruce Willis movies.
I told her old habits die hard
What travels down an alley and has holes in it?
Bruce Wayne's parents
Why is Batman so jealous of Superman?
Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2
Who's the lamest of all the X-men?
Bruce Jenner
Why is Bruce Lee so good at telling jokes?
Because if his punch line doesn't work, you still get a kick out of it.
So I heard that Bruce Lee had children
apparently
What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner?
One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger.
What's Bruce Lee's favorite car?
Kiaaaaaaaa
Did you know Bruce Lee had a son other than Brandon? He was a famous vegetarian.
His name was Brock.
Shazza walks into the kitchen and finds Bruce with a fly swatter.
"Waddaya doin?" She asked.
"Huntin Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Kill any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 blokes, 2 sheilas," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How'd ya know that?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers...
Bruce Willis says "I'll be Mozart", Chuck Norris says "I'll be Beethoven" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach".
One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself "The Man of Bats..."
It was his Nana's Nana's Nana's Nana's Batman.
What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
WATAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Bruce Lee Charged With Carrying A Concealed Weapon.
He had his hands in his pockets.
What did Bruce Wayne say to the hungry squirrel?
YOU WANNA GET NUTS?
C'mon, let's get nuts.
What is Bruce Lee's favourite drink?
Water.
What does Bruce Lee order at Burger King?
A *WHOPPA*!
If Bruce Wayne overcame his fear of bats by becoming his phobia...
why am I still afraid of failure?
If Dr. Bruce Banner always cites his sources
Does that make him the credible hulk?
Today i have met the vegetarian brother of Bruce Lee
Brocco Lee
How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe?
Hang him on the wall. Now he's a Bruce Banner.
Caitlyn Jenner came out today
and said she was groped by Bruce Jenner over several years
At the Burger King drive through I said I'll have Bruce Lee's favorite burger please
The cashier said what's that?
So I said A whopaaaaaaaa
An Australian man is walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his ex-girlfriend standing on the railings ...
An Australian man is walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his ex\-girlfriend standing on the railings, about to commit suicide. He apporaches her and asks:
\- Hey Sheila, what's the matter?
Tears in here eyes, she says:
\- I'm pregnant Bruce, and it's your baby!
To which Bruce replies:
\- Woah Sheila, not only are you brilliant in bed \- you're also a great sport!
What was Bruce Lee's beverage of choice?
WAH-TAH!
Hear that Bruce Lee had a vegetarian son?
Brock Lee.
What does a trebuchet in a convent and Bruce Lee have in common?
They're both nunchuckers.
Yes lame but it's OC
I'm a huge fan of ALL of Bruce Willis's work. I've seen every movie he's in.
I guess you can say.. I'm a Die Hard fan.
What's the difference between an open box of stinky cheese and a Kung Fu master?
One is loose brie and the other is Bruce Lee
What do Bruce Lee and the Donkey from Shrek have in common?
They have both entered the dragon.
What's the name of Bruce Lee's vegetarian cousin?
BrocoLee
I went to see my mate Bruce today and asked his wife where he was.
She said he's out the back in the garden. I had a quick look but couldn't see him so went to ask his wife again.
She said, he's out there, you just have to dig a little deeper .
Who is the vegan cousin of Bruce Lee?
Broccoli
Bruce Lee had a vegan brother
Brock Lee
What does Bruce Wayne take with his drink?
Just ice.
I just found out that Bruce Lee had a vegan brother
Broco Lee
What do you call Bruce Lee pulling a Radio Flyer?
Enter the wagon.
Bruce Lee walks into a bar...
And the bartender goes: "Woah! You're Bruce Lee! What can I get for you?"
"WAH-TAH!"
Due to the recent cutbacks caused by the coronavirus Bruce was told he had to terminate one of his compliance managers.
Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you or Jack off. Without batting an eye she responded "you better jack off, I have a terrible headache."
If Bruce Lee had a vegan brother, what would his name be?
Broccoli
Did you know Bruce Lee has a vegan brother?
Broco Lee
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster:
The Great Composers!
"I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone.
"I gotta be Mozart," retorted Willis.
"What about you, Arnie?" they asked....
I have an addiction to making references to random Bruce Willis movie titles. People have tried to help me stop but you know what they say. Old habits...
Pulp Fiction
Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."
Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"
I met Bruce Lee's vegan brother today.
His name is Brocko Lee.
Bruce Lee had a Vegan Brother
His name was Broco Lee
Batman: "It's been a long day."
Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."
Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"
Did you know Bruce Lee had a faster younger brother?
Did you know Bruce Lee had a faster younger brother?
Sudden Lee.
I've just discovered Bruce Lee had a vegetarian brother…
Broco Lee
What does Bruce Lee order in Burger King?
WOPPAAAH!
Why does Bruce Lee get excited when he visits Texas?
Because that means he can eat at WA-TAAAAburger
How do you call Bruce Lee's vegan cousin?
Broco Lee
Batjoke
Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."
Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"
Bruce lee was fast but do you know about his even faster brother?
Sudden Lee
My wife said she would leave me if I don't stop comparing everything to Bruce Willis movies, but you know what they say about old habits...
They Pulp Fiction.
After many years of fighting crime as batman
Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.
All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the Justice League, and told them that his son was going to take his place. Everyone was very welcoming, except for superman, who immediately quit the Justice League. He just couldn't work with a crypto knight.
What does Bruce Willis, a donkey with sunglasses on, and my ex have in common?
They're all bad ass.
Bruce Lee was fast
But his brother, Sudden, was faster.
Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies forever.
You know what they say about old habits.
Bruce Lee had a vegetarian brother...
His name was Broco Lee.
I met Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother
Broco Lee
I hear there's a guy from Africa who can punch even faster than Bruce Lee
Sudan Lee
What's Bruce Buffer's favourite herb?
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's THYME
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bruce bruce jenner jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working bruce bruce lee piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.