The Best 47 Brough Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Brough jokes. There are some brough yesterday jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these brough turns puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Brough Jokes and Puns

I brought my vegetarian girlfriend home for dinner...

...and my grandmother served us all, including my girlfriend, a very juicy, very much still hanging on the bone, rack of lamb. My girlfriend was looking at me in horror, whilst I took my gran aside.

"Didn't I tell you she was a vegetarian?" I asked.

She replied "oh yes dear, I checked with the butcher and he said the sheep he sells only eat grass!"

So i brought home a piece of furniture last night...

but it left in the morning without saying a word. It was one nightstand.

So I brought this girl back to my place

and even after lying in bed for an hour, things weren't heating up at all. Finally, I got frustrated and asked her, "so are we going to have sex, or what?"

She replied all annoyed and said, "Sex? Isn't that presumptuous?"

So I shot right back at her, "'Presumptuous?' That's a pretty big word for a 12 year old."

Brough joke, So I brought this girl back to my place

I brought a classical musician back from the past to prove that my time-machine works, but I can't find him.

He must be Haydn.

I brought my cannibal friend over to a party...

He sucked the life right out of it.


I brought my camera to a strip club for my photography project

I ended up failing because everyone in my photos was over-exposed.

I brought my gimp home from the club yesterday and took off his mask...

Oops, wrong sub!

Brough joke, I brought my gimp home from the club yesterday and took off his mask...

I brought a bunch of flowers...

for my first date with a vegan.

That's really sweet, she said.

Well I didn't know what you vegans ate.

I brought a dyslexic girl home last night.

She cooked my sock.

So, I brought my girlfriend some flowers today...

she looked at me, sighed and said, "I guess I'll have to spread my legs now."

so I asked her, "why, don't you have a vase?"

hahahahaha

just kidding...

I don't have a girlfriend

Ever since they brought out a movie based on the book...

... it's impossible to tell if girls are referring to the movie or the book when they say 'I was just flicking through 50 Shades of Grey.'

You can explore brough birthday reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean brough religion dad jokes. There are also brough puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I brought weed and poker chips to my family reunion last week.

Apparently I missed the memo on what a "potluck dinner" was.

I brought a pet iguana home from the pet store...

I think there's something wrong with him because he's very lethargic and I can't get him up. It must be a reptile dysfunction.

I brough my black friend home to meet my mom. She called him a drug dealer...

I told her to put her cash back in her purse.

What brought the can of beans and ancient Egyptian together?

They had a Tutankhamun.

-I'll show myself out.

I brought my first girlfriend home to meet my family.

I even told my dad she was a virgin. He told her leave, that if she wasn't good enough for her own family, that she wasn't good enough for ours.

Brough joke, I brought my first girlfriend home to meet my family.

I brought my old car to Kars For Kids

They said it was in great shape so they gave me 11 kids!!! Great day!

I brought one of those records that helps you learn spanish while you sleep,

during the night the needle skipped and the next day i could only stutter in spanish.
-Steven Wright (i think)

I once brought a bird into a Catholic Church during mass

Apparently, it was a cardinal sin.


Someone brought a goat to class today

It was... baaaaaad.

I brought a girl back to my house, took her up to my bedroom and said, "This is where the magic happens, babe."

She said, "Oh really? I'm getting excited now!"

So I said, "Yes. Pick a card..."

Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a condom. Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said

"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."

What brought the orgy to a screeching halt?

Friction.

I should've brought asparagus

I have a flat tire

I brought my dead girlfriend back to life by passionately kissing her neck

...I guess you could say I'm a neck-romancer

I brought my girlfriend to Mexico for Valentine's Day.

I got arrested on the way back for snuggling her over the border.

When I brought home my first straight A report card,

my mom said something that brought tears to my eyes. She said: "Timmy, your dad and I are getting a divorce."

I've brought my first set of iPhone AirPods

But no one gives a jack

So I brought a new iPhone today

But no one gives a jack

I brought a bottle of creamy white liquid to my neighborhood BBQ today.

It was a dressing in disguise.

After being brought to so many weddings by my family I can't wait for my own!

So I know who the guests are!

Or anyone for that matter.

I brought home a bouquet of roses for my wife

She looked at me in disbelief and asked "what did you do wrong"

"What? I just wanted to do something nice for you, buy you a gift, and this is how you act?" I respond

"Yea right, you think I don't know any better, now you want me to lay in bed naked all week with my legs spread"

"Why" i asked, " you don't have a vase?"

I brought gifts to an orphanage to cheer the kids up

Apparently, blow up dolls are not consider toys especially after they explode.

You brought a pun to a knife fight?

That wasn't very sharp....

I brought home my report card to proudly show I had received a 'B' in Reading. ..

... but my Mom said, "you numbskull, that's a 'D' !

Brought nachos to salsa class

Huge misunderstanding

I brought some cookie dough into work today...

...so I could use the oven there to bake some cookies for all the staff, but everyone gave me dirty looks when I put them in and turned the oven on.

My boss said I was "insensitive" and "fired from the crematorium".

I brought my therapy dog named stains to the laundromat the other day and he started to run of

So i shouted come stains!

I brought my granddad to a spa where the fish eat your dead skin

My mom objected but atleast we saved money from the funeral

I brought my car to a mechanic and asked him, Do you have any idea why my car is humming?

He replied, Probably because it doesn't know all the lyrics.

I brought a gun. He brought an army of ducks.

At this point it's just fowl play.

I brought my Arabic friend to the zoo to see Llamas for the first time.

Once we got near them I told him which of the animals was a Llama, and then asked if he thought they looked good.

He turned to me with a confused look on his face and said,

We've been talking for a while, why did you just greet me again?

Equally confused, I replied,

I didn't, I just said That's a Llama, Like 'em?

I brought a date to the 4th of July party...

...really sweetened up the fruit salad.

I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family.

They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.

I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment.

I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family.

My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.

I brought my girlfriend to watch one of my soccer matches. When an opponent was about to score a goal, she stormed the field and prevented it with her bare hands.

She's a keeper.

So I brought a world map and asked my wife to shoot a dart on it and wherever it lands, I will take her there for two weeks when pandemic ends.

It's her day 5 behind the fridge.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the brough trump jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working brough vest piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes