The Best 66 Brothers Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Brothers jokes. There are some brothers comrades jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these brothers fat brother puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Brothers Jokes and Puns
I often wonder what my parents did to fill their time before the internet was invented...
...I've asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they don't know either...
What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?
I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.
A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...
They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and POOF, the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and POOF, the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the Blacks and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."
This has been my stand-by joke since I was about 12
Two brothers want to go deer hunting but the only land nearby is owned by a grumpy farmer.
The decide to ask him if they can hunt on his property but when they pull up in the driveway neither brother wants to go knock on the door.
They play rock-paper-scissors and the older brother loses. He walks to the door and asks the farmer if they can go hunting.
The old farmer points to a nearby corral and says "See that horse? She's been mine for 20 years. She's blind and dying and I don't have the heart to put her down. If you do that for me, you boys can hunt on my land".
The older brother agrees and while walking back to the truck he thinks of a prank to play on his younger brother.
"I'll teach that lousy no-good farmer to say no!" he exclaims. "See that horse over there? Watch this!" He levels his rifle and shoots it! He hears gunshots next to him and looks at his brother.
"I got two of his cows" yells the younger brother, "lets get out of here!"
The Pearly Gates and the Brothers
Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when 3 black guys arrive.
St. Pete looked out through the Gates and said "Wait here. I will be right back."
St. Pete goes over to God's office and chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.
God says to Pete: "How many times do I have to tell you, you can't be racist and judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"
St. Pete goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's chambers and says "Well, they're gone."
"Who. The black guys?" asked God.
"No. The Gates."
What is a Redneck virgin?
A 7-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!
A Sunday School Teacher . . .
A Sunday School Teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "Honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Why don't robots have brothers?
Because they only have trans-sisters
A Man Walks Into A Bar...
And orders 3 shots for himself. The bartender asks why 3 shots? The man says that he has two brothers overseas and that whenever they drink, they all drink for each other as well.
A few weeks later, the same man comes in again and orders 2 shots for himself. The bartender asks the man if something happened to one of his brothers. The man replies "Nah, I've just stopped drinking."
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a coma...
6 months later she awakes and she asks her doctor about her babies. And he replies
"Oh you had happy healthy twins. One boy, and one girl. Luckily your brother was here to name then"
"Oh god no" says the woman "my brothers an idiot. What are their names"
"The girls name is denise" says the doctor
"Oh thats not to bad, and the boy?"
"Denephew"
My dad's a magician
Bob: What does your father do for a living?
Joe: He's a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Bob: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Joe: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.
You can explore brothers fraternal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean brothers relatives dad jokes. There are also brothers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The Bacon tree
Two Mexican brothers are lost in the desert.
They're hungry and thirsty, and have been walking for miles on end.
Suddenly, Jose yells at his brother. "Brother! Do you smell that? It smells like bacon!"
He rushes ahead, and sure enough, over the next dune, he sees it. A bacon tree. Glorious strips of crispy bacon, glistening in the sun, waiting to be eaten.
Jose runs head long at the tree, just as his brother climbs the dune behind him. Suddenly two machine guns pop out of the bacon tree and cut him down!
He turns to his brother, and with his last breath he yells out
"Brother! Is not a Bacon Tree!"
"Is..."
"Is a..."
"Is a Hambush..."
I tickled my little brothers foot this morning. And my mom went crazy about it.
Something about "Waiting until he's born".
Two brothers, aged 9 and 5, try to buy tampons at a pharmacy.
They take them to the counter and the pharmacist says, Are these for you?
The older brother says, They aren't for me, they're for my brother.
Very confused the pharmacist asks, But, why does your brother need them? , and the older brother says, Well, the lady on the TV said if you use these you can swim and ride a bicycle and he can't do either of those things.
A Catholic boy in confession says
"Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking
about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you
have two gorgeous brothers."
Congratulations to Alabama for making same sex marriage legal
Now the men can finally marry their brothers
Man walks into a bar and orders 4 beers.
Drinks them, and leaves.
Next week same time does the same thing: orders 4 beers, drinks them, and leaves.
The third week; same thing. The bartender is curious so he asks. "well, I moved here few weeks ago. Back home my 3 brothers and I met every Thursday after work for a beer. Since I was feeling homesick I figured I would keep up the tradition even if I had to do it alone."
This goes on for several weeks until one week the man comes in and orders three beers and a coke. Bartender says, "I hate to pry but what happened? Did one of your brothers pass away?"
The man chuckles and says, "No nothing like that. I decided to quit drinking."
Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?
The specific ocean.
What was Bruce Lees vegetarian brothers name?
Broco Lee
Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ?
Student- I've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters !!
The Old Man and his wife
A couple were celebrating 60 years of marriage, the old man kissed his wife's neck and then said: "Of our six kids the last one didn's look anything like his brothers and sister, did he have a different father?"
After a moment she took a deep breath and answered yes.
The old man sighed. "Who was he?"
"You.
What are the Fine Brothers favorite elements?
The noble gases because they don't react
Two brothers live together, and one of them makes tennis equipment for people with gigantism.
Late one night, he is up, hard at work, when his brother knocks on the door. He gets up from his desk, and answers the door.
"What do you want?" he asks.
His brother responds: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Can you stop making a huge racket?"
What do you call a redneck virgin?
A 13 year old girl who runs faster than her older brothers.
The worst part about spring...
Getting sued by the Fine Brothers for having an allergic reaction.
Happy Ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters!
This month, lunch is on me.
How did our grandparents killed time when there were no Smartphones and Internet?
I already asked my mom, her four sisters and five brothers.
What did our parents do to kill time before the internet?
I asked my 21 brothers and sisters and they had no clue either.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet was a thing
I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either
Four Chinese brothers....
...named Chu, Bu, Hu, and Fu decided to go to the United States of America. They had to Americanize their names in order to get a Visa... so Chu became CHUCK, Bu became BUCKS, HU became HUCK, and FU decided to remain in China...
Why don't robots have any brothers?
They all have transisters.
I was tickling my brothers feet last night...
...and my mum woke up and had a right go at me. It was something about waiting until he's born first.
My mum told me to stop tickling my little brothers feet.
Apparently I should wait until he is born.
The Wright brothers.
The Wright brothers must have been vectors, because two of them made a plane.
How did my parents combat boredom before the internet?
I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
3 Irish brothers always get a pint together after work
2 of them moved away, and the 1 brother who stayed would order 3 pints so it would feel like any other night at the pub with his brothers
One day he orders 2 pints, the pub falls silent and the barkeep says they are on the house and offers his condolences. The barkeep then asks which brother had died and the guy says his brothers are both healthy. "But you only ordered 2 pints" to which he replied "oh, I quit drinking"
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly...
...and as you can see, they were Wright
What do you call twin brothers?
A sunset
I wondered what my parents did to pass time when they were younger.
I asked my 19 brothers and sisters but they didn't know either.
What do you call an Alabama girl who can run faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
A man goes in a bar every day, sits alone and orders 3 beers.
After a while the barteder asks him:" Why do you come here every day and order 3 beer?". A man replies:" Well, I have 2 brothers and when we were younger, we agreed that no matter where we ended up. We would drink a beer for each of us.". This continued for some time, but one day man came in a bar and ordered 2 beers. Everybody was shocked, then somebody asked:" Whats wrong did one of your brothers die?". A man replied:" No, I just stopped drinking."
A husband and wife sit down to dinner
He says "honey, tell me something that's going to make me really happy AND really mad at the same time"
She looks at him and says "your dicks bigger than your brothers"
I've always wondered what my parents did to ease boredom before the internet was invented
My 19 brothers and sisters don't seem to know either.
I've always wondered what my parents did for fun before the internet...
So I asked my 27 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.
My dad just called a family meeting.
Me, mum, my two brothers, my sister and grandma hurried into the living room and gathered round an IKEA box laying on the floor.
"Dad, it's some flat pack furniture, what do you need the whole family for?" I asked.
"Well, it must be these strange Swedish customs", he replies, "It says assembly required".
How do you know if a redneck girl is a virgin?
If she can run faster than her brothers.
Physics Teacher's Story
Speed and Velocity are brothers.
Velocity went to college and got a science degree with which he's earning a six figure salary.
Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement.
Speed lacks Direction.
My brother Seamus says 1 out of 5 people in the world are Chinese.
Well, there's five in our family... I know it's not me, it's not my mom, and it's not my dad. That leaves my two brothers: Seamus, and Xiaoping. And to be honest?
I think it's Seamus.
Whats you father's occupation?
Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."
I wonder what my parents did before the internet
I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either
I've always wondered what parents used to do for fun before the internet.
I'll go ask my twelve brothers and sisters.
Does R2-D2 have any brothers?
No, only Transistors.
They say one out of every 5 people on the planet is Chinese.
The thing is, there's 5 people in my family. On of us must be Chinese.
I know it can't be me. I'm pretty sure it's not my mon or dad.
That leaves my brothers: Shawn, and Zhang Wei.
Whispers: *I think it's Shawn...*
FACT: 24 astronauts AND the Wright Brothers were born in Ohio.
Something about that crappy state makes people want to flee the Earth.
Three brothers and the lights
Three brothers are arguing about whom will turn the lights off. The first orders the second, and the second orders the third to turn the lights off. In the end they agreed if someone talks he'd turn the lights off.
Days past and the neighbours are starting to get worried about them so they decided to break in. They found the three brothers all dead!
The neighbours saddened by their lost bury the brothers next together. But the third brother starts to shout that he isn't dead and the other two tell him to go turn the lights off.
Little Johnny, the magician's son
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the schoolteacher.
"He's a magician, ma'am," said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" asked the teacher.
"He saws people in half," answered Little Johnny.
"Wow! That must be amazing to watch," said the teacher. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
And Little Johnny said, "One half brother and two half sisters."
An old Jew is on his deathbed.
A 90 year-old Jew is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: "Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?" And Sarah says, "Yes, I am here."
He then says: "Are my children -- my wonderful children -- are they here with me?" And they reply, "Yes father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last."
And he says: "Are my brothers and sisters here with me as well?" And they too tell him that they are here.
So the old man lays back quietly, closes his eyes, and says, "If everybody is here ... why is the light on in the kitchen?"
I rang my brothers house....
...and his six year old son, Billy, answered the phone.
"Hey Billy" I said "Is your Dad there?
"Yes" he answered is a whisper. "But he's busy."
"What about your Mum?" I said
"She's busy too", he replied, but again in a whisper I could barely hear.
"What are they doing?" I asked
"They're talking to the policemen" he replied, still in a very faint whisper.
"What are the policemen doing there?" I asked
"Looking for me" he whispered
What is Alabama's most popular video game?
Super Smash Brothers
Two brothers are fighting…
… in front of their mother and it starts to turn violent. The mother tries to intervene and stop the fight. The younger brother who is taking the brunt of the hits gets frustrated that he couldn't get as many punches his brother landed says, Step aside bitch . The elder brother hearing this gets angry and kicks him and says, How dare you call Mom a bitch, you son of a bitch!!
A girl asked me are you a simp?
I said no my father was a simp, me and my brothers are actually Simpsons
Two truck driving brothers.
Two truck driving brothers are taking a driving test, and the instructor asks, "You're driving the truck and you're at the top of a mountain and your brakes go out. You notice an accident at the bottom of the mountain, what do you do?"
The trucker replies, "The first thing I do is wake up my brother."
"What good is that going to do?" the instructor asks.
The trucker replies, "In all of the years we've been driving he ain't never seen an accident like the one we're about to get in to."
Asked my crush how many brothers she got
she said, Just you.."
Two vietnamese brothers asked me to invest in their business
I jumped at the opportunity. It seemed like a Nguyen/Nguyen situation
Why is it confusing when twin brothers do Star Wars impressions?
They Luke the same.
Two brothers
Two brothers, ages 8 and 5, wake up one morning, and the older of the two says, "Today we're going to start cursing. I'll say Damn and you say Ass." The younger brother agrees.
Soon, their mother calls them down for breakfast. She asks the older brother what he would like to eat. He replies "I want some damn Cheerios." His mother is horrified, slaps him across the face and sends him to his room.
She turns to her younger son and asks, "Well, what do you want for breakfast?" He replies, "I'm not sure, but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the brothers brother birthday jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working brothers brother in law piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.