brothers Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious brothers puns

What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?

I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.

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Happy Ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters!

This month, lunch is on me.

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I was tickling my brothers feet last night...

...and my mum woke up and had a right go at me. It was something about waiting until he's born first.

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I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet was a thing

I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either

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The worst part about spring...

Getting sued by the Fine Brothers for having an allergic reaction.

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A Man Walks Into A Bar...

And orders 3 shots for himself. The bartender asks why 3 shots? The man says that he has two brothers overseas and that whenever they drink, they all drink for each other as well.

A few weeks later, the same man comes in again and orders 2 shots for himself. The bartender asks the man if something happened to one of his brothers. The man replies "Nah, I've just stopped drinking."

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A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly...

...and as you can see, they were Wright

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Two Muslim Brothers

Two Muslim brothers come to America and have a contest to see who can become more Americanized. A month later they get together and one proudly says "I took my son to a baseball game and we ate hot dogs!" The other replies "Fuck you, towelhead!"

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Why don't robots have any brothers?

They all have transisters.

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Two brothers live together, and one of them makes tennis equipment for people with gigantism.

Late one night, he is up, hard at work, when his brother knocks on the door. He gets up from his desk, and answers the door.

"What do you want?" he asks.

His brother responds: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Can you stop making a huge racket?"

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A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a coma...

6 months later she awakes and she asks her doctor about her babies. And he replies
"Oh you had happy healthy twins. One boy, and one girl. Luckily your brother was here to name then"
"Oh god no" says the woman "my brothers an idiot. What are their names"
"The girls name is denise" says the doctor
"Oh thats not to bad, and the boy?"
"Denephew"

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I've always wondered what my parents did for fun before the internet...

So I asked my 27 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.

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How did my parents combat boredom before the internet?

I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

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What are the Fine Brothers favorite elements?

The noble gases because they don't react

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What do you call an Alabama girl who can run faster than her brothers?

A virgin.

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My dad just called a family meeting.

Me, mum, my two brothers, my sister and grandma hurried into the living room and gathered round an IKEA box laying on the floor.

"Dad, it's some flat pack furniture, what do you need the whole family for?" I asked.

"Well, it must be these strange Swedish customs", he replies, "It says assembly required".

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Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ?

Student- I've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters !!

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Bubba and his three brothers Billy, Buck and Bob were driving their brand new truck one morning.

Suddenly they were rear ended by an old man. Furious, they pulled over and were about to beat the shit out of him.

Man - "Hold on, this is unfair. There are four of you and I'm just a weak old man."

Bubba - "You're right. Billy and Bob, you two fight on his side to make it even."

Buck - "But now it's three vs. two."

Bob - "You go home old man, we'll sort this out."

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What do you call a redneck virgin?

A 13 year old girl who runs faster than her older brothers.

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I wondered what my parents did to pass time when they were younger.

I asked my 19 brothers and sisters but they didn't know either.

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Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

The specific ocean.

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What was Bruce Lees vegetarian brothers name?

Broco Lee

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A husband and wife sit down to dinner

He says "honey, tell me something that's going to make me really happy AND really mad at the same time"
She looks at him and says "your dicks bigger than your brothers"

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My mum told me to stop tickling my little brothers feet.

Apparently I should wait until he is born.

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The Old Man and his wife

A couple were celebrating 60 years of marriage, the old man kissed his wife's neck and then said: "Of our six kids the last one didn's look anything like his brothers and sister, did he have a different father?"
After a moment she took a deep breath and answered yes.
The old man sighed. "Who was he?"
"You.

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I tickled my little brothers foot this morning. And my mom went crazy about it.

Something about "Waiting until he's born".

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An old man lays dying in his bed with all his close family gathered around him...

Dying man: My son... Are you here?

Son: Yes dad, I'm right here with you, our whole family is.

Dying man: Daughter, are you here too?

Daughter: Yes dad, I'm here with your grandchildren, we're all with you.

Dying man: What about my wife and brothers?

Wife and brothers: Us too, everyone is here with you.

Dying man: Then why is the fucking light still on in the living room?

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How did our grandparents killed time when there were no Smartphones and Internet?

I already asked my mom, her four sisters and five brothers.

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A Catholic boy in confession says

"Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking

about my sister."

"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you

have two gorgeous brothers."

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I always wondered what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet?

I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

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Two brothers, aged 9 and 5, try to buy tampons at a pharmacy.

They take them to the counter and the pharmacist says, Are these for you?

The older brother says, They aren't for me, they're for my brother.

Very confused the pharmacist asks, But, why does your brother need them? , and the older brother says, Well, the lady on the TV said if you use these you can swim and ride a bicycle and he can't do either of those things.

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3 Irish brothers always get a pint together after work

2 of them moved away, and the 1 brother who stayed would order 3 pints so it would feel like any other night at the pub with his brothers

One day he orders 2 pints, the pub falls silent and the barkeep says they are on the house and offers his condolences. The barkeep then asks which brother had died and the guy says his brothers are both healthy. "But you only ordered 2 pints" to which he replied "oh, I quit drinking"

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I often wonder what my parents did to fill their time before the internet was invented...

...I've asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they don't know either...

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The Pearly Gates and the Brothers




Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when 3 black guys arrive.



St. Pete looked out through the Gates and said "Wait here. I will be right back."



St. Pete goes over to God's office and chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.



God says to Pete: "How many times do I have to tell you, you can't be racist and judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"



St. Pete goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's chambers and says "Well, they're gone."



"Who. The black guys?" asked God.



"No. The Gates."

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A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...

They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.

The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and POOF, the Mexican guy disappears.

Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and POOF, the Black guy disappears.

Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the Blacks and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."

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What are the most funny Brothers jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Brothers? Well, here are the best Brothers dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Brothers pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes