Brothers And Sisters Jokes
110 brothers and sisters jokes and hilarious brothers and sisters puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brothers and sisters that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Brothers And Sisters Short Jokes
Short brothers and sisters jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brothers and sisters humour may include short brother and sister jokes also.
- What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.
- If a man and a woman get married in tennessee then move to Texas and get divorced… Are they still brother and sister?
- Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ? Student- I've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters !!
- After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said,
"I think I'm going to call it a day." - If patricide is killing your father, matricide is killing your mother, and fratricide is killing your brother... Is pesticide killing your sister?
- A new law recently passed in Arkansas. When a man and woman are divorced, they can still be brother and sister.
- What happens when a brother thinks he is ugly?
After that, he thinks of his sister and feels better.
- AMA Request: Kim Davis. I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so:
If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister? - My sister-in-law said her friend was studying abroad... My brother quickly replied, "what's her name?"
- Me and my best friend were born within an hour of each other, our mothers said we could be sister and brother Just like their parents were.
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Brothers And Sisters One Liners
Which brothers and sisters one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brothers and sisters? I can suggest the ones about sister and sons and daughters.
- Happy ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters! This month, lunch is on me.
- A sister got a PS5 for her younger brother on Rakhi.
Best trade ever!
- Robots don't have brothers... They have tran-sisters.
- My dad had six nuts Me, my two brothers, and three sisters
- My wife divorced me. Now we're back to just being brothers and sisters again :(
- If two people from Kentucky get divorced.. Do they still remain brother and sister?
- My wife and i got along so much better... When we were just brother and sister
- I asked my sister whats the worst pet to have She said "A brother"
- I was with my brother and sister-in-law
- If you get divorced in West Virginia... Are you still considered brother and sister?
- My brothers and sisters claim there are only two genders But my other siblings disagree
- What's the female equivalent of an Eskimo Brother? A transistor sister
- A blond asked his friend, "Why does my sister have two brothers and I only have one???"
- There is a brother and a sister The only thing is that they both live in Alabama
- What do you call a loaf cooked by a brother and a sister? Inbread
Brothers And Sisters Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny brothers and sisters day jokes and even better brothers and sisters day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The other day I saw a brother holding his sister's hand while walking How...touching.
Brothers And Sisters Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about brothers and sisters you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cousins jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brothers and sisters pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This brother was b**... his sister, and he says, "You f*c**... like Mom," and she laughs. He says, "What?" She says, "That's what Dad said."
An American Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. “Mom, why is my big brother named Mighty Storm?” “Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.” “Why is my sister named Cornflower?” “Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her." "And why is my other sister called Moonchild?” "We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived. Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?”
A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast.
On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, "Hi sister Jane," by which sister Jane says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed sister.
She did not understand what sister Jane meant by that so she ignored it and went on.
She was passing by the garden when she ran into sister Roberta and she says, "Good morning sister Roberta I am having a great day. Sister Roberta says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed."
The nun was wondering why everybody she met kept saying that when she felt great so she decides to go and see mother superior.
She asks mother superior, "Everybody keeps telling me that I got off on the wrong side of the bed when I feel great and mother superior says,"That is because you have brother Johns shoes on."
I was wondering the other day...
I was wondering the other day what our parents must have done for entertainment before television was popular and affordable. I asked my 38 brothers and sisters if they had any ideas, but none of them could suggest an answer either.
A Sunday School Teacher . . .
A Sunday School Teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "Honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
A salesman knocks on the door and a small child answers
The salses man asks, "Is your father home"?
"No, he was ran over by a tractor".
"I'm sorry to hear that, is your mother home"?
"No, she was ran over by a tractor".
"Do you have any big brother or sister at home"?
"No, they were ran over by a tractor"
"So what are you doing here all alone"?
"I'm driving a tractor"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Catholic boy in confession says
"Bless me Father, I have sinned, I m**... while thinking
about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you
have two gorgeous brothers."
My little sister's sick burn
She's 7, which makes this so much better.
Her: Hey /u/Teeplaysgames, wanna know why Mom named Noah (our brother) Noah?
Me: Sure, why?
Her: Because the first time she saw him, she yelled "NOO! AHHHH!" and the doctor just wrote that down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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s**... ed
One day a little boy was at the park with his grandfather when he saw two dogs having s**.... He asked what they were doing and was told that was how they made puppies. Later that night he had a bad dream and when he went in to his parents' room he saw them having s**.... When he asked what they were doing he was told they were trying to make him a baby brother or sister. Disgusted, he demanded "Well flip her over, I'd rather have a puppy!"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lucky day for Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.
Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly was watching the news when he witnessed something astounding. A young Syrian man had just thrown a hand grenade over 100 yards through the window of a building into a room that housed a s**.... He was so impressed that he had the man found and brought into the states to play for his team.
After a very successful rookie season the young man was discussing his rookie of the year award via telephone with his mother.
She told him that she was proud but living in fear constantly. She continued " your brother was shot twice just in the last few weeks and your sister is regularly the victim of assault. Matters have escalated and life is worse than it has ever been. I will never, ever forgive you for bringing us to Philly."
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Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.
Sister : Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.
Brother : Because the people would think I am F**king you.
The Old Man and his wife
A couple were celebrating 60 years of marriage, the old man kissed his wife's neck and then said: "Of our six kids the last one didn's look anything like his brothers and sister, did he have a different father?"
After a moment she took a deep breath and answered yes.
The old man sighed. "Who was he?"
"You.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why doesn't Chelsea Clinton have a brother or sister?
Monica Lewinsky swallowed them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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My sister married a black man
He's a lawyer. So now I have a brother in law.
Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives
His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: Man Gogh
His sister who loves disco: Go Gogh
His bouncy little Nephew: Poe Gogh.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy was jerking off and his sister caught him
Instead of saying anything, she took off her clothes and started to have s**... with her brother.
After finishing the brother said, "Wow, you're as good as mom".
The sister replied, "Ya, dad told me that too".
Blonde Joke gone bad
Brother: Why did the blonde climb over the transparent glass wall?
Sister: I don't know, why?
Brother: To see what was on the other side.
Sister: Pause. *Confused Look.* Wait.. but.. why didn't she just walk around it?
AMA request! Someone who actually pays for Netflix.
Instead of using their brothers ex girlfriends sisters moms password.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A brother and sister are having s**...
The sister tells her brother: You are better than dad.
To which the brother replies: I know, mom told me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIFU by telling my brother-in-law I s**... my beard.
He wondered why I would want his sister to be bald.
I was sitting there with my dad when he said "Son..
"Your brother and sister always needed something to be good, but you... You were always good for nothin'"
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Why do h**... brothers and sisters marry each other?
Cause Pa ain't pay'n fer 2 weddins!
An Alabama married couple moves to New York and gets a divorce
Are they still brother and sister?
What's the first question on the West Virginia Bar Exam?
If a husband and wife get divorced, do they still remain brother and sister?
A) Yes
B) No
C) They become cousins
D) None of the Above
I asked my parents for a baby brother or sister this Christmas
My dad said he'll see if the baby making machine in his room still works.
Mommy has been screaming 'yes' all night so I think it's working
Name me five different animals, Johnny.
The dog, the dog's brother, the dog's sister, the dog's cousin and the dog's aunt.
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My sister once told me I was her i**... brother
She's really sweet, despite her dyslexia.
A family moves into their new house.
Grandma comes for a visit and asks the youngest child, a five-year-old, how he likes the new place. It's terrific, he says. I have my own room, my brother has his own room, and my sister has her own room. But poor mom is still sleeping with dad.
What's your favourite math topic
Brother: What's your favorite topic in mathematics?
Sister: Knot theory.
Brother: Yeah, me, neither.
(Source: My math teacher )
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What do you call brother, sister, and cousin midgets giving each other o**... s**...?
Munchkins
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"Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
One day, a child came up to her father and said, "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
He replied, "Well, when you were born, a rose fell on your head."
Later on, her younger sister came up to their father and asked, "Daddy, why was I named Lily?"
He replied, "Well, when you were born, a lily fell on your head."
Later, their brother came up to their father and said, "Ghigdsgjjo Hitsggdjkl."
He replied, "Shutup, Brick!"
What do you say when a brother and sister are riding in the back seat of a car down the Tuscaloosa By-Pass?
Toll ride
I assume my mom and dad met at church...
I mean, they always call each other brother and sister.
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My older brother annoyed me, so I gave him condoms with holes in them.
My sister got pregnant.
If a brother and sister get together and have twins, the twins should be named Peanut Butter and Jelly.
Because they are in bread.
An obese woman goes the the doctor.
The doctor attempts to suggest diet and exercise. The woman responds, "Doctor, you don't understand. My mother is obese, my sister is obese, my brother is obese, my cousins are obese. Obesity runs in my family." She doctor thinks for a second and responds, "It sounds like no one runs in your family."
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Those i**... porns are so unrealistic.
Nobody says "brother" or "sister", we just use each others names
My dad just called a family meeting.
Me, mum, my two brothers, my sister and grandma hurried into the living room and gathered round an IKEA box laying on the floor.
"Dad, it's some flat pack furniture, what do you need the whole family for?" I asked.
"Well, it must be these strange Swedish customs", he replies, "It says assembly required".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Father's Occupation
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
"He's a magician, ma'am" said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two half sisters."
A boy went to his father:
Daddy, why don't I have any brothers or sisters?
Well, son, when I was a little boy, just like you, my mom used to tell me that it is alright to make mistakes, as long as you don't make them again.
A girl once told me that I was like a brother to her...
So I told her that she was like a sister to me, if she was from Alabama.
A brother and sister fell in love and got married....
Guess you could say they were made for each other.
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Mother of tabu jokes (Pretty Heavy)
Brother is b**... his sister on the bed. She turns to him and say: " Ahhh, you do it better than dad!"
And the brother replies:
"Mommy says the same thing!"
What is the difference between India and USA?
An Indian would introduce himself as,"I grew up with 5 brothers and 3 sisters".
An American would say, "I grew up with 5 mothers and 3 fathers".
People ask me how I have so many cousins, aunts, uncles, sisters and brothers.
I respond with It's all relative
If you really like a girl and you ask her out, and she says I love you like a brother
Suggest a weekend in Alabama.
Unless you are from Alabama, in which case she is your sister.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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i**... isn't really that bad. You can ask my mom, dad, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, and cousins.
They're both in the next room.
Not all the animaniacs live in the water tower, just the Warner Brothers and the Warner Sister, Dot.
Just for fun they run around the Warner movie lot. They lock them in the tower, whenever they get caught. But they break loose, and then vamoose, and now you know the plot.
The son wanna date a neighbour
\- Dad, can I date Lisa next door?
\- No, she is your sister.
\- How about Anna in block 59?
\- No, she is your little sister.
\- Ok, this is weird. How about Karen the waitress? Can I date her or is she my sister too?
\- No, she is your brother.
The upset son goes tell his mother about what his dad said.
The mother gentlely comforts him:
\- You can date whoever you want, teddy bear. You are not his son.
I recently found out a bunch of people I know have been lying about being only children.
They keep posting things about standing with their black brothers and sisters.
A newly released document from the CIA reveals that except his sister - Maja Einstein, Albert Einstein had a younger brother from another father.
His name was revealed to be Barrett Zweistein.
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Why did a brother tell a sister to go sit in the middle of the highway?
Because that's where accidents belong.
After a lifetime wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.
Yes, you were, son" his mother said as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back".
The year is 2040, and a curious kid wonders what their parents did to pass the time during Quarantine back in 2020.
The kid asked their 10 brothers and sisters, but they had no clue either.
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The measurement
Got this text from my brother recently.
It read. Can I stay at your house for a while?
The ol' lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my c**....
It just reaches the back of her sister's t**...!
A girl and her mom are in a car.
Girl: "Why is my name Rose?"
Mom: "Your dad loves roses."
Girl: "Why is my brother named Robin?"
Mom: "Your dad loves the bird."
Girl: "Then why is my sister named Secretary?"
Mom: "That's why we are driving away from home."
But what he really wants ...
While my mother was pregnant with me, my parents warned my three-year-old brother not to get his heart set on either a brother or a sister, as they didn't know what I would be. He seemed to understand but added this caveat: "Well, if it's a dog, I hope it's a Boxer".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."
So I took off her shirt.
Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."
So I took off her skirt.
Then she says, "Take off my bra and p**......"
So I took off her bra and p**....
Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"
Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.
His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.
Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.
His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.
Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A boy hits his sister across the head with a book
The girl cries her eyes out and runs to her dad, "Daddy, Daddy, brother just hit me across the head with a book!"
The dad says "yeah yeah yeah, just another s**... story."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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My brother, my sister, and myself pooled our money together
We treated our dad with this fish therapy where little fish nibble on the dead skin until it is gone.
It was money well spent, because it was much cheaper than a regular f**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny, the magician's son
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the schoolteacher.
"He's a magician, ma'am," said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" asked the teacher.
"He saws people in half," answered Little Johnny.
"Wow! That must be amazing to watch," said the teacher. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
And Little Johnny said, "One half brother and two half sisters."
An old Jew is on his deathbed.
A 90 year-old Jew is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: "Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?" And Sarah says, "Yes, I am here."
He then says: "Are my children -- my wonderful children -- are they here with me?" And they reply, "Yes father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last."
And he says: "Are my brothers and sisters here with me as well?" And they too tell him that they are here.
So the old man lays back quietly, closes his eyes, and says, "If everybody is here ... why is the light on in the kitchen?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A blonde is thinking:
How the h**... does my brother have four sisters when I only have three?