The Best 65 Brothel Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Brothel jokes. There are some brothel casino jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these brothel pimp puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Brothel Jokes and Puns

What do you call children born in whorehouses?

Brothel sprouts

A woman buys a talking parrot that belonged to a brothel house before.She takes the parrot home:

"Oh, new brothel, new dames...cooool ".After a while the daughters come home. The parrot:" Oh, new brothel, new hookers...cooool. "After a while husband comes home. The parrot: "oh, new brothel, new hookers, old friends...hello Bob."

A koala bear walks into a brothel picks out the best looking girl and heads upstairs with her.

While up there he eats her out like a madman doing things she's never even heard of.

After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.
The girl stops him and demands payment.

The bear doesn't understand. She has him look up prostitute in the dictionary, a person who trades sex for money. Still a little confused he asks what does it say about me.

Koala bear, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves.

Brothel joke, A koala bear walks into a brothel picks out the best looking girl and heads upstairs with her.

What do you call 4 sheep tied to a fence in Wales?

A Brothel :D

I tried to go to the brothel today but there was a sign on the door

It said "Beat it, we're closed."


What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work?

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!

What do you call an entrance to a brothel?

Hodor.

Brothel joke, What do you call an entrance to a brothel?

I asked God whether or not to open a brothel

He replied "build it and they will come".

A koala goes to a brothel

So a koala goes to a brothel and does the deed with the prostitute. When they are finished, he gets up and starts to head out the door. The prostitute stops him and says "Hey! The definition of prostitute is we have sex for money!" The koala looks at her and says, "Well the definition of koala is eats bushes and leaves."

A guy opens the door to a brothel

And asks, "What can I get for five dollars"

One of the girls looks at him and says, "why don't you go jack off in your car?"

Guy closes the door and comes back 10 minutes later,

'Who do I give the 5 dollars to?'

A man is new in town

A man is new in town and asks the next passerby for directions:
"Excuse me, could you please tell me where the church is?"
"Yeah, it's on 3rd street."
"What, right next to the brothel?"
"What? No! The brothel is on 17th street."
"Oh, I see. Thank you very much!"

You can explore brothel whore reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean brothel hooker dad jokes. There are also brothel puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A lady walks into a pet store...

She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO
The lady asks the pet shop owner, "Why so cheap?" The owner says "This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things." The lady can't pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway.
She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is "Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn't bad looking." The lady finds it amusing.
Her two teen daughters get home and the bird says "New whores in the house, business will be booming tonight." The girls are shocked but laugh it off.
A few hours later the woman's husband gets home and the bird says "Hey Jim."

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

The FIFA headquarters.

A Portuguese, a Greek, and a Spaniard go into a brothel. Who pays?

Germany.

What does the sign of an out of business brothel say?

Beat it. We're closed.

"It's a boy!"

I shouted, as I ran from the Thai brothel.

Brothel joke, "It's a boy!"

What did the pirate say when he walked into the brothel?

arggg! thar she blows

Two drunk men visit a brothel

The madame takes a look at them and tells her manager: Go and put inflatable dolls in their bedrooms.These guys are too drunk to notice.

After finishing their act ,on their way back ...

1st drunk: I think my girl was dead as she never made a noise or made a move. Upon this the 2nd drunk says: Mine was worse....... I think she was a witch!!!

1st drunk: Why would u say that???

2nd drunk: Well i gave a little love bite on her bum.....She farted in my face and flew out of the window.

Past& Sees Her.

Susie is a prostitute who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past& sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised& ask her 'how do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin& suck 'em until they're dry.


What do you call the side door of a brothel in Westeros?

Hodor

"IT'S A BOY!" I shouted. "A BOY! I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S A BOY!"

And with tears streaming down my face, I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel...

Why did the brothel run out of money?

Why did the brothel run out of money? Because all of the investors pulled out.

A guy walks into a brothel with a donkey and a honeycomb

The brothel owner says "Why do you have an jackass? " Guy says, "I have a big farm, I want to trade it for some time with your girls."

Brothel owner says "Okay, why do you have a honeycomb?" Guy says "I have a lot of bees, was hoping to trade it for some food."

Brothel owner says "Why don't you just eat the honeycomb?"

Guy says, "Same reason I brought the jackass, tired of it."

'It's a boy!', I shouted.....

.. and at that moment, I regretted visiting a Thai brothel.

Sign at a Brothel

A sign post at a brothel reads
'DON'T DIE A VIRGIN, THERE ARE TERRORISTS WAITING FOR YOU UP THERE'.

A man walks into a brothel..

The attendant behind the desk says "Beat it. We're closed".

When his brothel went out of business, what sign did the owner hang on the door?

Beat it, We're closed.

What's the best part of a redneck brothel?

The family discount

I went to a brothel that took deer as payment

They described it as the best bang for your buck

I'm building a brothel for lesbians.

No studs in the building, it's all tongue and groove.

A virgin goes to a brothel for his first time.

The woman takes him into a room and says, "We're going to try this position called 69. I think you'll like it."

He lies down on the bed. She gets on top and they start going at it. Everything is fine for the first few minutes, and then she lets out a huge fart, right in the guy's face. She apologizes and they get back to business.

A few minutes later, she rips another fart, bigger than the first one.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he says. "I don't think I can take another 67 of those, though."

I really must get some glasses....

Today I walked into a brothel instead of a barbers!

I asked for a number 2 all over

What is the difference between a coffee shop and a brothel?

My girlfriend never asks for a large black at the coffee shop.

I went to a brothel and met a prostitute

I asked her what are the prices?
She said:

Β£20 for a hand job

Β£50 for a blow job

Β£80 for sex

And for Β£120, i'll do anything!

Anything hmmm....

She's now fitting my downstairs bathroom and repainting my living room.

You can ge some real bargains if you shop around!

What do you call a sexy soup kitchen?

A brothel

I bumped into my dad in a brothel yesterday, I was speechless…

I thought he worked in a bank.

Barack and Trump found themselves at a local barbershop. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump reached for the aftershave. Donald was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.

Would the person who schedules the girls at a brothel...

...be called the whore-ganizer?

What do you call a prostitute's children?

Brothel Sprouts

The town brothel recently closed and left a single sign in the window.

Beat it; we're closed.

[NSFW] I went by a brothel and there was a sign in the window

it said "We're closed, so beat it."

A beautiful young lady works in a brothel [NSFW]

But she would never tell her family or friends about it.

One night during a police raid, all the girls need to get in line outside the brothel.

And while in line, the grandmother of the young lady walks by: "Julie, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?" "Well grandmother, at the front the line they give away free oranges!"
"Free oranges! I'll better get me some." And the grandmother steps in line.

Meanwhile the line gets processed and every girl gets interrogated.
When the cop comes at the end of the line his eyes widen: "What? You? At your age? What are you doing here?"

"Ah it's no problem, I just take it my teeth and suck them dry!"

I caught my husband going to a brothel and I'm not sure what to do now.

On the one hand he is unfaithful, but on the other hand it was nice that he visited me at work.

I went to the brothel the other day but it was closed...

The sign said "Beat it, we're closed."

What does the sign say at the brothel when they are not open?

Beat it, we're closed.

Two old guys are sitting in a park and talking

The first guy says: "You know, I went to a brothel the other day"

"Oh yeah? And what happened?"

"I banged for two hours!"

"Two hours?! At your age?!"

"Yeah, and those whores still wouldn't let me in"

[NSFW] What did the Roman say the first time he went to a brothel?

Vidi. Vici. Veni.

What does the sign in front of an out of business brothel say?

Beat it, we're closed

What do you call a hooker's kid?

A brothel sprout

My grandpa told me to not go to the brothel down the road

He said I'd see things that I shouldn't see.

And?

Well, I went.

And what did you see?

Grandpa.

What did the sign on the door of the brothel say?

"Beat it, we're closed."

What's the difference between a circus and a brothel?

One has a cunning array of stunts...

What sign does the brothel put up in its off hours?

Beat it, were closed.

Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop

Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each one being worked on by a different barber, not one word was spoken. When the barbers finished shaving, the barber that had Trump reached for the aftershave. Trump quickly stopped him saying: No thanks, Melania will smell that and think I've been in a brothel. The second barber turned to Biden and said, How about you, Mr. Biden? Joe replied, Go ahead, Jill doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad. Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well. Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, What a terrible pity…one of the girls must be dying.

Why did the student go to a brothel?

He was told to study abroad

A young boy passes a brothel on his way home from school when

the lady of the house leans forward and waves her pinky finger at him. "Hi little boy", she laughs.

He asks her, "why do you wave like that?"

She holds up her pinky finger again, "well, that's how little 'it' is".

The next day the boy strolls by and the lady does the same. "Hi little boy" she jests, waving her pinky finger in the air.

The little boy puts a finger in each corner of his mouth, stretching it as wide as possible and says, "hiya big lady".

Henry Ford owned a brothel

He packed the brothel with the most beautiful women in Detroit. Any man could come in and take one out on a date. They were known as the Ford Escorts.

I've decided to open the world's cheapest brothel.

Penny for your thots?

A sign on a brothel reads:

'We're closed, beat it'

i have a friend whos saying is love thy neighbor

he lives next door to a brothel

Five Hundred Bucks

A trucker who has been on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!" The madam is astonished. "But, sir, for that kind of money, you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny, I'm homesick."

How many women of god can you fit in a standard size brothel?

Nun!

What's the difference between a circus and a brothel?

Nothing, if you pay the clowns enough.

Grandpa told me to never go to a brothel. I'd see things, he said, I shouldn't see.

I still went there.

And it was true. So horribly, horribly true.

I saw grandpa.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the brothel resell jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working brothel nightclub piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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