Broth Jokes

115 broth jokes and hilarious broth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about broth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Broth Short Jokes

Short broth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The broth humour may include short broccoli jokes also.

  1. The worlds two largest manufacturers of broth seasoning cubes are merging. It was a multi-bouillon dollar deal.
  2. My work offered to fund my retirement account in soup exclusively... ...I'm the first person to have a Broth IRA.
  3. What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue? Mandel broth
    Ha ha ha
    The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier..
  4. What do you call a chance to try a fishy broth at a classy musical event? An opera-tuna-tea.
    My ears are still ringing from my wife's groan.
  5. Why did the cannibal only eat half the staff at the restaurant? Too many cooks spoil the broth.
  6. Did you hear about the r**... woman's husband killing her broth and her dad? No one even knew he was suicidal

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Broth One Liners

Which broth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with broth? I can suggest the ones about bros and chicken soup.

  1. I over boiled some venison broth earlier... It was deerly mist.
  2. A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth The result was soup rising
  3. In Australia they use kangaroo broth to make Marsoupial
  4. My friend made some broth from fancy sandals yesterday. It was a Birkenstock
  5. My wife and I decided not to have children. Their tears make the broth too salty.
  6. What do you call 2,000 lbs of steaming broth? Won ton soup
  7. What did the beef broth say to the chicken broth? What flavor au jus?
  8. Where is the best place to buy chicken broth? at the stock market

Broth joke, Where is the best place to buy chicken broth?

Cheerful Fun Broth Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about broth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chicken jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make broth pranks.

My brother who has a stutter is in prison.

It's just heartbreaking knowing he will never finish his sentence.

My brother just updated his status to "I love my girlfriend <3".

I always knew he liked them young, but that is f**... ridiculous.

Little brother told me this joke, genius.

"Why did beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"

I tried to go to the brothel today but there was a sign on the door

It said "Beat it, we're closed."

My 11 y/o brother told me this

What is pickle bread before its baked?
Dill dough

Al Pacino's brother is steaming that his parents...

named him Cap.

My little brother is extremely proud of this joke. What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

My brother was worried last night that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep because he had a headache.

I told him to make a stiff nightcap and drop a couple of pills in it. You know, just take Aleve of Absinthe.

My brother was in a car accident yesterday and lost his left arm and left leg.

Well actually, he's not my brother... he's my half-brother. He's all right now.

My brother is addicted to break fluid...

But he says he can stop any time.

Why did the brother octopi look so alike?

They were itentacle twins.

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Two brothers, aged 9 and 5, try to buy tampons at a pharmacy.

They take them to the counter and the pharmacist says, Are these for you?
The older brother says, They aren't for me, they're for my brother.
Very confused the pharmacist asks, But, why does your brother need them? , and the older brother says, Well, the lady on the TV said if you use these you can swim and ride a bicycle and he can't do either of those things.

My brother took being sent to prison really badly.

He was yelling and screaming, took off his clothes, and would not accept any food from anyone.
That was the last time we played monopoly.

My brother pulled this one about his promiscuous dad today

What's the difference between dad and Santa Claus?
Santa Claus stops after 3 hos.

My brother got sent to prison for something he didn't do.

He didn't wear gloves.

My brother and I laugh at how Competitive we were as kids.

But I laugh more.

My brother won a prize for staying in a hospital bed for a really long time.

He got a trophy.

Two brothers live together, and one of them makes tennis equipment for people with gigantism.

Late one night, he is up, hard at work, when his brother knocks on the door. He gets up from his desk, and answers the door.
"What do you want?" he asks.
His brother responds: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Can you stop making a huge racket?"

My brother and I started a business manufacturing Dracula toys

I have to make every second Count

Why did the brothel run out of money?

Why did the brothel run out of money? Because all of the investors pulled out.

My brother lost his job at the rubber factory

... but I think he'll bounce back.

My other brother-in-law died.

He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

My brother David had his ID stolen

Now he's just Dav

I got my little brother a Cisformer for his birthday

It's like a transformer, but it starts out as a car and stays that way

Sometimes me and my brothers used to mess with grandpa.

Once we asked him if he knew what a s**... tape was.

He nodded thoughtfully. s**... tapes? Sure, we have those, but your grandmother prefers cuffs.'

My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp,

I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again.

My brother and I were playing chess, and I said to him 'care to make this interesting?' He said 'sure'.

So we stopped playing chess.

A brother and sister are having s**...

The sister tells her brother: You are better than dad.
To which the brother replies: I know, mom told me.

My brother just finished his doctorals

So he went to Starbucks to celebrate.
The cashier said. "What would you like sir?"
"I would like an espresso please" my brother replied.
"Okay sir, I just need your name." The cashier said.
"It's Stephen" My brother replied.
"With a 'ph'?" The cashier asked.
My brother then replied. "No, it's Stephen, with a PhD"

My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians

So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.

My brother lost his eyesight in a motorboating accident.

Her n**... were pierced.

My brother started making terrible bird puns to annoy me...

But toucan play at that game

When his brothel went out of business, what sign did the owner hang on the door?

Beat it, We're closed.

My brother and I own adjacent farms

The other day he rode over to complain that I was growing m**... on his side of the fence.
I told him to get off his high horse.

Mario's brother died...

But he was still able to contact him through a Luigi board.

my brother just called me (11pm) with a joke so funny he was still laughing

**what is a bear without teeth?**
**answer: a gummy bear**
since he made it up all by himself, i informed him that i could no longer publicly claim him as my brother. he understood completely.

I went to a brothel that took deer as payment

They described it as the best bang for your buck

Two little brothers were fighting and arguing...

The first one says: Well, you were adopted!
The second one replied: Well, at least they wanted me!

My brother got fired from his job because he had s**... with one of his patients...

its a real shame as he was a great veterinarian

My brother broke down crying and told me about how he was abused by a priest when we were kids.

It was a very touching story.

My Brother took going to jail really badly.

He refused food or drink. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and started throwing things.
We never played Monopoly again.

My little brother wanted to be treated like a prince...

...So I slit his t**... while he was sleeping to ensure he didn't lay claim to my crown.

My brother asked me to describe myself in 3 words...


My little brother swallowed a coin and was to taken to the hospital

When I asked how he is doing, the nurse said "No change yet!"

I went to a brothel and met a p**...

I asked her what are the prices?
She said:
£20 for a h**...
£50 for a b**...
£80 for s**...
And for £120, i'll do anything!
Anything hmmm....
She's now fitting my downstairs bathroom and repainting my living room.
You can ge some real bargains if you shop around!

My brother and I made a $50 bet on who could throw meat the furthest into the air

I guess you could say the steaks have never been higher.

My brother just hit me with a milk carton

How dairy

I let my brother name my twins.

He did fine with my daughter, Denise. But my son may never forgive him for naming him Denephew.

My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone, he even threw his f**... on the wall.

I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.

My brother just threw a milk carton at me

How dairy.

My brother has a beef eating disorder and I'm worried

His life is at steak

My brother asked me which super power I'd like

Apparently the united states wasn't a good answer.

My brother took going to jail pretty hard. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at everyone who passed by, and smeared his own f**... all over the walls...

Needless to say we'll never play Monopoly again..

My brother is in the ER right now because of a bee sting that swelled his head,

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.

My brother is turning 32 tomorrow, so I told him not to get his hopes up.

When he asked why, I replied:
"Well, it'll be pretty short. It is your thirty-second birthday after all."

I ask my brother if he wanted to watch any war movies.

He said he was tired of watching people getting shot. I said "you never saw anyone get shot, you graduated HS 12 years ago."

My brother did one like that after a long string of pirate jokes.

"What's a pirate's favourite crime?"
"Arrrrson," I said, chuckling at my cleverness.
"You idiot," he replied, "it's obviously Piracy."

Two brother sit under the christmas tree....

One gets dozens of presents. He opens one after another, a tablet, a drone, a bike and plenty other things.
The other only gets one present with his name on it: a matchbox car.
The one boy with all the presents maliciously asks: guess whom they like more!
The other, calmly playing with the matchbox car, asks back: guess who has cancer.

My brother took going to jail really badly.

He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him and smeared the walls with his own f**.... After that, we never played Monopoly again.

My brother ran away from home to study mime.

We never heard from him again.

My little brother asked out of nowhere how gay men have s**...

I told him to go ask our uncle, when I was his age he gave me a demonstration.

My brother asked if i could help him come up with a way to advertise the new vacation resort he was opening up.

I said "Brochure."

I went to the brothel the other day but it was closed...

The sign said "Beat it, we're closed."

Three brothers moved to America from China.

The brothers names were Chu, Bu, and Fu. These brothers decided they wanted more American sounding names so they went to City Hall to change them.
Chu decided to go by Chuck, Bu decided to go by Buck, and Fu went back to China.

I saw my brother m**... in his room when I was seven

I asked him what he's doing. He didn't want mum to know about this and told me he's practising Chinese kungfu. I shall never forget the day when I volunteered to demonstrate Chinese kungfu in front of everyone in class.

My brother didnt like the school shooting jokes I was making

I think I should aim for a younger audience.

Help! My brother has developed an addiction to drinking brake fluid.

Our family is worried but he says it's okay because he can stop whenever he wants.

Me and my brother stole a calendar

We each got six months.

My brother used to throw pennies at me all the time

And that's why I'm afraid of change

My brother Seamus says 1 out of 5 people in the world are Chinese.

Well, there's five in our family... I know it's not me, it's not my mom, and it's not my dad. That leaves my two brothers: Seamus, and Xiaoping. And to be honest?
I think it's Seamus.

My brother and I are partners in a shoe business but we decided to split the business

Now I am the sole proprietor.

Why did a brother tell a sister to go sit in the middle of the highway?

Because that's where accidents belong.

My brother and I often laugh at how competitive we are

I laugh more

So my brother made a dad joke

I put my pants in the washing machine and forgot to take my headphones out of my pocket. After they were done washing my brother realized what I did, he asked me
"Is the sound cleaner now?"

My brother called me a tool

So I got hammered and nailed his wife.

A knight's brother was slain in battle by monster

Knight: I will avenge the death of my brother!
Hunter: You have my bow!
Warrior: And my axe!
Mage: And my staff!
Necromancer: And your dead brother!

My brother asked me where I'm going to graduate.

At the living room or the kitchen?

My brother Joe started the Dolly Parton diet.

It really made Joe lean Joe lean Joe lean Joe lean

My brother hasn't stopped staring through the window since the storm started

I suppose I should let him in

My brother, my sister, and myself pooled our money together

We treated our dad with this fish therapy where little fish nibble on the dead skin until it is gone.
It was money well spent, because it was much cheaper than a regular f**....

Broth joke, My brother, my sister, and myself pooled our money together

jokes about broth