Brot Jokes

Following is our collection of timmy humor and fraternal one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Brot puns for adults, dirty mommy jokes or clean brother gags for kids.

There is an abundance of hey jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes on brot. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sis witze you can hear about brot.

The Best jokes about Brot

My brother who has a stutter is in prison.

It's just heartbreaking knowing he will never finish his sentence.

My brother just updated his status to "I love my girlfriend <3".

I always knew he liked them young, but that is fucking ridiculous.

My little brother wanted to be treated like a prince...

...So I slit his throat while he was sleeping to ensure he didn't lay claim to my crown.

My brother got fired from his job because he had sex with one of his patients...

its a real shame as he was a great veterinarian

My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians

So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.


My brother and I laugh at how Competitive we were as kids.

But I laugh more.

My brother just threw a milk carton at me

How dairy.

My brother asked me to describe myself in 3 words...

Lazy

Two brothers live together, and one of them makes tennis equipment for people with gigantism.

Late one night, he is up, hard at work, when his brother knocks on the door. He gets up from his desk, and answers the door.

"What do you want?" he asks.

His brother responds: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Can you stop making a huge racket?"

My brother and I made a $50 bet on who could throw meat the furthest into the air

I guess you could say the steaks have never been higher.

My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone, he even threw his faeces on the wall.

I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.


My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp,

I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again.

My brother won a prize for staying in a hospital bed for a really long time.

He got a trophy.

My 11 y/o brother told me this

What is pickle bread before its baked?

Dill dough

I went to a brothel and met a prostitute

I asked her what are the prices?
She said:

£20 for a hand job


£50 for a blow job


£80 for sex


And for £120, i'll do anything!


Anything hmmm....


She's now fitting my downstairs bathroom and repainting my living room.

You can ge some real bargains if you shop around!

I tried to go to the brothel today but there was a sign on the door

It said "Beat it, we're closed."

My brother and I were playing chess, and I said to him 'care to make this interesting?' He said 'sure'.

So we stopped playing chess.

My brother is in the ER right now because of a bee sting that swelled his head,

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.

My brother did one like that after a long string of pirate jokes.

"What's a pirate's favourite crime?"

"Arrrrson," I said, chuckling at my cleverness.

"You idiot," he replied, "it's obviously Piracy."


My brother started making terrible bird puns to annoy me...

But toucan play at that game

My brother took going to jail really badly.

He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him and smeared the walls with his own faeces. After that, we never played Monopoly again.

My brother asked if i could help him come up with a way to advertise the new vacation resort he was opening up.

I said "Brochure."

My Brother took going to jail really badly.

He refused food or drink. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and started throwing things.

We never played Monopoly again.

Little brother told me this joke, genius.

"Why did Beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
-why
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"

My brother asked me which super power I'd like

Apparently the united states wasn't a good answer.

Why did the brother octopi look so alike?

They were itentacle twins.

I let my brother name my twins.

He did fine with my daughter, Denise. But my son may never forgive him for naming him Denephew.

I got my little brother a Cisformer for his birthday

It's like a transformer, but it starts out as a car and stays that way

My brother is turning 32 tomorrow, so I told him not to get his hopes up.

When he asked why, I replied:

"Well, it'll be pretty short. It is your thirty-second birthday after all."

I went to the brothel the other day but it was closed...

The sign said "Beat it, we're closed."

My brother lost his eyesight in a motorboating accident.

Her nipples were pierced.

My brother David had his ID stolen

Now he's just Dav

My other brother-in-law died.

He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

My brother has a beef eating disorder and I'm worried

His life is at steak

My little brother is extremely proud of this joke. What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

my brother just called me (11pm) with a joke so funny he was still laughing

**what is a bear without teeth?**

**answer: a gummy bear**

since he made it up all by himself, i informed him that i could no longer publicly claim him as my brother. he understood completely.

Two brothers, aged 9 and 5, try to buy tampons at a pharmacy.

They take them to the counter and the pharmacist says, Are these for you?

The older brother says, They aren't for me, they're for my brother.

Very confused the pharmacist asks, But, why does your brother need them? , and the older brother says, Well, the lady on the TV said if you use these you can swim and ride a bicycle and he can't do either of those things.

My brother took being sent to prison really badly.

He was yelling and screaming, took off his clothes, and would not accept any food from anyone.

That was the last time we played monopoly.

My brother and I often laugh at how competitive we are

I laugh more

My brother broke down crying and told me about how he was abused by a priest when we were kids.

It was a very touching story.

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Two brother sit under the christmas tree....

One gets dozens of presents. He opens one after another, a tablet, a drone, a bike and plenty other things.

The other only gets one present with his name on it: a matchbox car.

The one boy with all the presents maliciously asks: guess whom they like more!

The other, calmly playing with the matchbox car, asks back: guess who has cancer.

Two brothers lived together

with their grandmother and her cat. The first brother went on a business trip, and when he arrived at his destination, he checked into his hotel, and called his brother at home. "I made it safe and sound" he said. "How is everything?"

"Bad" said the second brother. "The cat is dead."

"WHAT?!? How could you be so insensitive to tell me like that?" The first brother exclaimed. "You could have broken it to me slowly by saying the cat is on the roof, but you've called the fire department and they were trying to get her down. Later you could have called me and told me that the fire department got the cat down but she has a broken leg, so you are taking her to the veterinarian. Tomorrow you could have called me and told me despite the veterinarian's best efforts, the cat died."

"Sorry", said the second brother. "I'll remember that next time."

"Good", said the first brother. "By the way, how is Grandma?"

The second brother replied, "Oh, Grandma is on the roof."


So there are three brothers, one called manners , one called trouble and one called shut up

One day they were playing hide and seek and shut up was searching. He found manners very quickly so they searched for their brother.

They looked for hours and still couldn't find him, so eventually they went to the police station.

Manners was shy so he stayed outside, but shut up went in to talk to an officer.

Officer: Hello young man what's your name?

Shut up: Shut up

Officer: how rude!!! Where are your manners?!?

Shut up: waiting outside

Officer: and what are you doing here then?

Shut up: I'm looking for trouble

My brother got sent to prison for something he didn't do.

He didn't wear gloves.

My brother was in a car accident yesterday and lost his left arm and left leg.

Well actually, he's not my brother... he's my half-brother. He's all right now.

My brother told me this. Feels like it belongs here.

A grammar teacher was lecturing his students on double negatives. He explains, "In some languages, take English, for example, if you were to use double negatives, it is the equivalent of a positive. It isn't considered proper grammar for that reason."

A student raises his hand. "Like in Algebra?"

"Exactly. However, in other languages, like Russian, a double negative is still a negative. For those of you who are curious, there is no language where a double positive equals a negative."

A student piped up in the back. "Yeah, right."

My brother just hit me with a milk carton

How dairy

My little brother asked out of nowhere how gay men have sex

I told him to go ask our uncle, when I was his age he gave me a demonstration.

My brother Seamus says 1 out of 5 people in the world are Chinese.

Well, there's five in our family... I know it's not me, it's not my mom, and it's not my dad. That leaves my two brothers: Seamus, and Xiaoping. And to be honest?

I think it's Seamus.

My brother didnt like the school shooting jokes I was making

I think I should aim for a younger audience.

When his brothel went out of business, what sign did the owner hang on the door?

Beat it, We're closed.

Two little brothers were fighting and arguing...

The first one says: Well, you were adopted!

The second one replied: Well, at least they wanted me!

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes