Brooklyn Jokes
44 brooklyn jokes and hilarious brooklyn puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brooklyn that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these Brooklyn jokes! From Brooklyn 99, the Brooklyn Bridge and Brooklyn Tony, to the Brooklyn Nets, Brooklyn 99 running and best fat jokes, you'll find something to chuckle at. You'll also learn some fun facts about the borough and its famous people, like Harlem's famous rapper and actor RUS, or Brooklyn Decker.
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Funniest Brooklyn Short Jokes
Short brooklyn jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brooklyn humour may include short mainstream jokes also.
- I like to be frank and earnest with women. In Brooklyn, I'm Frank and in Chicago I'm Ernest.
- A Rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder... The bartender asks, Hey buddy, where did you get that?
The frog responds, Brooklyn, they're all over the place! - Some people are named after where they were conceived. For example Brooklyn, Paris... My friend Ally doesn't agree.
- My 8 year old niece told me I could share her joke with you guys, but I had to give her the credit. Her name is Brooklyn. Do you know how to make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it. - Brooklyn When you go to Brooklyn always bring a camera, because there are many things in Brooklyn that you will see, then never see again in your life...
Starting with that camera. - Did you know the Golden Gate Bridge and Brooklyn Bridge have twitter accounts? They are both suspended.
- If a one "L" Lama is a priest and a 2 "L" llama is an animal, what is a 3 "L" lama? A fire in Brooklyn
- A friend told me "I can't wait to get out of Brooklyn, they took my rims, put the car on bricks" I said "you moved to Brooklyn so you can get a brownstone, now you got 4"
- Brooklyn Nine-Nine I thought it was Franz Beckenbauer's opinion on whether David Beckham's son would make it as a footballer.
- You know the toughest part about being a gay black police officer? The discrimination.
Stolen from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
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Brooklyn One Liners
Which brooklyn one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brooklyn? I can suggest the ones about lama and queen.
- What do pantyhose and Brooklyn have in common? Flatbush
- What do Brooklyn and tight jeans have in common? Flatbush.
- What did Biggie say when he first saw a map of the United States? WHERE BROOKLYN AT
- Who is a Brooklyn dog's favorite composer? Bach
Bach Bach - What's a Brooklyn contractors favorite dance? Dewalts
- What do you call four singing sheep in Brooklyn? A baaabershop quartet.
- Where is the only place engineers are considered artistic? Brooklyn
- How do the Wu Tang introduce David Beckham's kid? THIS IS. BROOKLYN.
- What kind of team of doctors performs abortions in Brooklyn? The Crimefighting Team
- Why did the hipster cross the Brooklyn bridge? To get home.
- What do you call a bowling alley in Brooklyn? Ebo-wling
- What's h**...'s favorite TV show? Brooklyn Nein-Nein!
- How do you recite the alphabet in Brooklyn? f**...' "A"! f**...' "B"! f**...' "C"!
Laughable Brooklyn Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about brooklyn you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean entertain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brooklyn pranks.
Obama walks into a bar.....
Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.
Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"
"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."
"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were t**... hotspots not too long ago?"
"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."
"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"
"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."
Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:
"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.
A Jewish businessman in Brooklyn
A Jewish businessman in Brooklyn decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland.
When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.
The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. Oh, and by the way, I converted to Christianity."
"Oh, my," said the father. What have I done?"
He decided to go ask his old friend Jacob what to do.
Jake said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do."
So they went to see the rabbi.
The rabbi said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people?
The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do.
Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven.
The Voice said, "Funny you should ask. I, too, sent my Son to Israel...
A German man on his first trip to America decides to see New York City.
As he's wandering around the smell of corned beef and fresh baked rye bread draws him into a Kosher deli. The man sits at the counter, eyes the menu and says, "I vood like to try ze bagel and ze lox." In a thick accent.
On his first bite he's throughly enjoying his food and pipes up to the guy behind the counter, "Zis is voonderbar! Zey do not have food like zis vere I am from."
In a heavy Brooklyn accent the guy behind the counter replies, "Now whose fault is that?"
A Chinese man, a Mexican man, a black man, and a white man...
Are standing by the edge of a cliff. The Chinese guy says," This is for all my ninjas back in China." and he jumps off the cliff. The Mexican guy says," This is for all my amigos back in Mexico." and jumps off the cliff. Then, the black guy says," This is for all my brothas back in Brooklyn." and pushes the white guy off the cliff.
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along.
He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides.
When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.”
One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”
A Chassidic Jew walks into a bar...
He's wearing a long black frock coat, his ear locks are curled and dangling, and he's got a large bullfrog just sitting on his shoulder. The bartender turns around, sees him, and says, "hey, where'd you get that thing?" The bullfrog croaks, "in Brooklyn, there's hundreds of them!"
Scattered Ashes
An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"
The elderly woman says "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
So a Rabbi with a frog on his shoulder walks into a bar...
...and the bartender says: "That's awesome! Where'd you get one of those?"
And the frog says "Brooklyn! There's hundreds of em!"
*credit to Robin Williams for the joke
A h**... walks into a Brooklyn bar…
…with a frog on his shoulder. As he steps up to the bar the bartender asks him, Hey where did you get that? The frog answers East Kentucky, they're all over the place down there.
A Hipster and a Duck
Part 1.
A hipster walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender goes Hey, where did you get that?
The duck goes In Brooklyn, there's thousands of them!
Part 2
A hipster walks into a Brooklyn bar with a duck on his head. The bartender asks What can I do for you?
The duck responds for starters, get this guy off my a**...!
A rabbi goes into a bar
with a HUGE bullfrog on his shoulder. Bartender looks up at him, and says "Where in the WORLD did you get that thing????". Bullfrog answers "Brooklyn, they're EVERYWHERE!".
Credit to JP
An old man in Brooklyn gets a phone call that his cheese shop blew up.
Oh, no! I'd better get down there right away!
The guy on the phone tells him, Nah, take your time. All that's left where de shop was is de brie.
When doctors go on strike ....
"Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!"
Guy walks into a bar...
So this Jewish guy walks into a bar in New York with a parrot on his shoulder.
The Bartender goes where'd you get that?
And the parrot says, "in Brooklyn, they're everywhere."
