The Best 22 Broker Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Broker jokes. There are some broker buyer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these broker stock broker puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Broker Jokes and Puns
I am a stock broker
I am broke after investing in stocks
The funeral
One day a man dies and in his will, he leaves $300,000 to his stock broker, financial adviser and his lawyer, each one receiving $100,000. In the will he also states that he wants all 3 of them to to leave half of the money they received ($50,000) in his coffin after the funeral.
The day of the funeral comes and each man approaches the coffin to do what was asked of them and once they're all done, they meet up at the bar.
After a few drinks, the stock broker speaks up "I gotta be honest with you guys. I only left $10,000 in the coffin. But I mean, it's not like he'll be able to spend it, right?"
To which the financial adviser admits "Hey, don't feel bad. I only left $5,000 in the coffin. I mean, is he really expecting us to throw away that much money?"
At which point the lawyer speaks up and says in a disapproving tone "I can't believe you guys would be so greedy! I'll have you know I left a check for the full $50,000 in his coffin like he asked!"
I'm so close to being a broker.
I'm broke.
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Jack and the beanstalk
Does everybody know the guy in Jack and The Beanstalk who trades the magic beans for Jacks cow?
Cause I guess you could call him a Stalk Broker
Why did the Stock Broker quit his job to become a Baker?
He overheard some great advice. "BUY DOUGH, SELL PIE!"
....I'll see myself out.
What do you call a stock broker that also works as a private eye?
An Invest-igator
I drank a bunch of Angry Orchard and called my broker
I guess you can say I did some in-cider trading
18th Century Arms Dealer Receives Concussion on First Day at Work
A burgeoning blunderbuss broker braved and bore the brunt of a bludgeoning to the brain.
Grown-ups fooled us by making us think we would be superheroes on adulthood
Firefighter, Broker, Waterboy, Machinist, Driller, Embalmer, Goldsmith, Hydrologist, Lifeguard, Naturopath
What does a bank do?
It makes the broke broker, and the broker richer
You can explore broker salesman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean broker agent dad jokes. There are also broker puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook's right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..
Come together, right now... over Smee.
What was the investment broker doing sneaking around the cider mill?
He was looking for in-cider information.
I hooked up with that chick who works at the bank
Friend: broker?
Nah, she's just really sore
The stock broker said to his mistress
I'm going to put everything I've got into rubber, and if it comes off I'll marry you.
[OC] Why did the mortgage broker go out of business?
Because he lost interest.
![Broker joke, [OC] Why did the mortgage broker go out of business?](/images/jokes/broker-jokes-im-so-close-to-being-a-brokern-n-im-broke.jpg "Broker joke, [OC] Why did the mortgage broker go out of business?")
What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator?
An investigator.
Why did the woman's visit to wall street land her in the hospital?
Because the stock broker!
Why did the stock broker not get upset when his wife divorced him?
Because he's got lots of options.
UP or DOWN?
A financial analyst and a broker enter an elevator together.
The broker says:
\--Guy, really! Can you just tell me this time - UP or DOWN?
What did the Wall Street worker say after he divorced his wife?
I broker.
What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?
NEED MORE GAINS
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the broker trader jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working broker mortgage broker piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.