Broken Phone Jokes

19 broken phone jokes and hilarious broken phone puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about broken phone that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Broken Phone Short Jokes

Short broken phone jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The broken phone humour may include short lost phone jokes also.

  1. I asked my teenage son to pass me the phone book He laughed, called me a dinosaur and handed me his iPhone.

    So, the spider is dead. The iPhone is broken and my son is furious.
  2. Broken phone, need your help. I got a text from my partner the other day saying "heybabymyspacebarisbrokenonmyphoneineedanalternative". - Any idea what a 'ternative' is?
  3. My wife just phoned me and said that her car has broken down. I told her to whisper it some words of encouragement.
  4. I booked some Star Wars impersonators for my son's birthday, but I've just had a phone call saying that their people carrier's broken down. All I know is that they're in a Galaxy far, far away.
  5. She : Babe my phone screen is broken. Me : That sounds bad.
    She : Lemme show you.
    *sends screenshot*
  6. You open the world clock but your phone has a broken home button. You can check out any time you like,
    but you can never leave.
  7. Today I asked my daughter for a phone book... She said "you're such a boomer" and handed me her phone.
    So, now, the spiders dead, my daughters phone is broken, and she's really p**... at me now..

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Broken Phone One Liners

Which broken phone one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with broken phone? I can suggest the ones about smashed phone and cracked phone.

  1. AC/DC has broken up! AC now charges phones and DC started making comic books.

Silly & Ridiculous Broken Phone Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about broken phone you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean broken glass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make broken phone pranks.

An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car

Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.
Operator: What is your location sir?
Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.
Operator: How do you Spell that sir?
Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...
Operator: Are you there sir?
More heavy breathing and another minute later...
Operator: Sir, can you hear me?
This goes on for another few minutes until...
Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?
Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.

Women Think Differently

Husband's Text Message by cell phone:
"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.
Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:
"Who's Paula?"

An elderly woman called 911...

An elderly woman called 911 from her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into.
"They've stolen everything! My radio is gone, my center console is gone, my mirror and the rosary beads hanging from it...even the steering wheel!"
The dispatcher responds that an officer is on the way.
Minutes later, the officer arrives and radios back into dispatch.
"Disregard that last call. She got in the back seat by mistake."

Wet phone solution.

Person 1: If you drop your phone into some water, fill a bag with rice and put the phone in the bag and sit it on the kitchen bench overnight.
During the night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your broken electronics.
Person 2: Dude, that's not how it works. They would eat the rice too.

8:45 PM, Arrive at the crime scene

- 8:45 PM, Assess victim. Cause of death: strangulation, victim's phone and wallet are missing
- 8:45 PM, Gather evidence. No visible fingerprints, rope used to strangle the victim was found in a nearby trashcan
- 8:45 PM, Question witnesses. One witness states the m**... was driving away in a blue Ford Mondeo
- 8:45 PM, Realise watch is broken. Amazon estimates a 2-3 day wait for a new watch


An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!
" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard," he says. She got in the back-seat by mistake."

An elderly man goes to the Doctors...

He's having problems hearing and he wants to know if his hearing aid is broken. The Doctor takes a look and recoils in shock. He then proceeds to pull a t**... out of the man's ear. "This is why you can't hear. There's a t**... in your ear not a hearing aid. The man then asks if he can use the Doctor's phone to call his wife. "Why?" the Doctor asks. The man smiles and replies "So I can tell her where my hearing aid is".

A man sees a listing for a cell phone on eBay but he doesn't see a price.

There's only a description that said it was broken, as well as the picture.
Because he was only gonna use it for parts, he contacts the seller.
How much for the cell phone? Asks the man.
The seller replies No charge .


A man was talking to his friend on the phone after many years:
"Hey buddy, how is your life, heards you got married again, is this the fourth time now?"
"So what happened to your ex-wives, do you still see them?"
"No, they're all dead."
"My condolences, how did the first one die?"
"She was poisened, eating mushrooms"
"Terrible. What about the second one?"
"She was also poisoned, mushrooms"
"Wow, don't tell me your third wife also died because of mushrooms?.."
"No, her neck was broken"
"I see, car accident then."
"No. She refused to eat the mushrooms."

A student goes away to college for the first time

He's worried about how his cat will take his absence, so he calls home the first chance he gets. His little brother answers the phone.
How's Mittens doing?
Oh, Mittens died.
Yeah, Mittens is dead.
I can't believe that you just blurted it out like that.
What do you mean?
Well, you could have broken it to me gently. You could have said, 'She's up on the roof and we can't get her down.' Then next time I called you could say that Mittens fell and got hurt, and then next time you could say that she died. It wouldn't have been such a shock.
Yeah, I see what you mean. Sorry.
That's OK, just let me talk to Mom.
Uh, she's up on the roof and we can't get her down.