The Best 35 Broken Leg Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Broken Leg jokes. There are some broken leg fractured jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these broken leg neck puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Broken Leg Jokes and Puns

A husband sends a text to his wife.

Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.

Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?

Does it hurt anymore?

A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. He put his hands together between his legs. Fell on the ground & rolled around in pain. She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor.
Reluctantly he agreed.
She gently took his hands away. Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside.
She massaged him tenderly for a few minutes & asked: "How does it feel?"
He replied: "Feels great but I still think my thumb is broken"

Slip of the Tongue

Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"

Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."

Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you."

One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"

Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"

Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of fuckin' one?"

A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby.

A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. He put his hands together between his legs, fell on the ground & rolled around in pain.

She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor. Reluctantly he agreed. She gently took his hands away. Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside. She massaged him tenderly for a few minutes & asked: "How does it feel?"

He replied: "Feels great, but I still think my thumb is broken"

jokes about broken leg

Husband send a text to his wife

Husband's text:
>Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays.
Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches.
I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility.
Love you.

Wife's response:
>Who's Paula?

A woman playing golf hits a nearby man...

She rushes over to the man who is on the ground, rolling around screaming in pain with his hands between his legs.

She profusely apologizes and offers to relieve his pain since she is a doctor and reluctantly he agrees. She gently moves his hands to his sides and unzips his pants and puts her hands inside. She massages him tenderly for a few minutes and asks: "How does it feel?"

He replies: "It feels great but I still think my thumb is broken".

An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car

Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.

Operator: What is your location sir?

Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.

Operator: How do you Spell that sir?

Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...

Operator: Are you there sir?

More heavy breathing and another minute later...

Operator: Sir, can you hear me?

This goes on for another few minutes until...

Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?

Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.

Women Think Differently

Husband's Text Message by cell phone:

"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.

Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:

"Who's Paula?"

The Way Women Think

Husband's Message (by text):

"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"

Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"

Your cat died

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?

Husband: She is playing on the roof.

Husband says'' Honey, it's me. I don't want to alarm you but

. . . I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They've checked me over and dome some tests and x-rays. The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately, it didn't cause any serious internal injury. However, I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they might have to amputate my right foot.''

Wife : ''Who's Paula?''

You can explore broken leg knee reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean broken leg wrists dad jokes. There are also broken leg puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My friend crashed his motorbike.

He's brain-damaged and both his legs are broken.

You know, I'm really not surprised that he crashed his bike then.

Trip to the doctor.

A man walks into a doctor's office and sits down on the hospital bed and says, "Doc, it hurts me on my leg right here, on my arm right here, and on my stomach right here. I don't know whats wrong!

The Doctor turns to the man and says,"You idiot, your finger is broken!"

A brunette's pain

A distressed brunette tells her doctor that no matter where she touches her body, she feels horrible pain. The doctor asks her to demonstrate. She proceeds to touch her chin, which results in a whimper. She touches her breast, and she starts to cry. She touches her leg and she lets out a scream.

"Stop," he says, " I believe I know what ails you. But first I must ask, are you naturally a blonde?"

"Why yes I am," she says, "how did you know?"

"You have a broken finger"

Me and my friend had a bet that I couldn't beat him in a race.

I'm a big guy, so needless to say, I won.

His mom wasn't too happy to see both of his legs broken though.

Why shouldn't you joke about broken legs?

Because it's not Humerus

What has broken arms, broken legs and is on the bottom of a river?

People who tell jokes about the Mafia.

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, please help me. I hurt all over."

The doctor asked the man to explain more.
The man said, "When I touch my arm it hurts, when I touch my leg it hurts, when I touch my head it hurts. Everywhere I touch it hurts."
The doctor examined the man and said. "Mr Smith, your finger is broken!"

Patient asking...

Patient asking: "Doctor, it hurts when I press my leg. It hurts, when I press my arm. It hurts, when I press my head. What's that?"Doctor: "You have a broken finger!"

A blonde walks into a hospital

She complains that every bone in her body is broken.

The doctor says "where does it hurt?"

The blonde points at her leg, "here".

She points at her arm, "here"

She points at her other leg and arm "here and here".

The doctor examins her and promptly says "Ma'am, you have a broken finger"

Doc, every part of my body hurts:

Me: I touch my head it hurts.

I touch my stomach it hurrs

I touch my leg it hurts

I touch my eye it hurts

I touch my neck it hurts.

What is wrong with me?

Doc: You have a broken finger

People complain about Game of Thrones having a lot of incest...

...but Bran could have broken his arms instead of his legs

I recently had to go to the doctor, my entire body hurt everywhere

I told the doc

"It hurts when I poke my neck",
"It hurts when I poke my chest",
"It hurts when I poke my leg"

The doc took some x-rays and the results came back:

I had broken my finger

What do you call a guy who has broken all his arms and legs?

An Ambulance

What do you call a Jamaican with a broken leg?

Usain Halt.

Hey girl are you legs broken?

Make up the other half of this pickup line in the comments.

Edit
Totally goofed it up in the title. Oh well, I had a few drinks last night and things happened.

*Are your legs broken?

What do you call a deer with one eye and a broken leg?

I have no eye-deer

Repost

A friend of mine posted a joke about an ostrich with a broken leg 2 years ago. so many people have reposted it since then that it's still running.

What do you get when you cross a busy road with a broken leg and a blindfold?

Hit.

Did you hear about the race between the horses with broken legs?

It was lame.

How do you take care of an adult chicken with a broken leg?

You make them chicken soup.

What do you get when you cross an Italian and a Russian?

Broken legs at best

Q: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
A: Don't worry he's "ALRIGHT" now!

The other day I met a man with a wooden leg named Smith

He beat the hell out of me with it. I have two wooden legs, he broke both of them.

I've learned to be more careful about hanging around people who only branch out in one direction.

I'd extend him an olive branch, but mine are both broken now.

I'm rooted in one place now.

It's very treepressing. :(

Doctor doctor

Doctor doctor when I touch my forehead,shoulder,leg and foot it really hurts!

(Doctor says) no wonder you have a broken finger!!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the broken leg legs puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working broken leg dislocated piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes