JokoJokes

Broken Heart Jokes

28 broken heart jokes and hilarious broken heart puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about broken heart that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Broken Heart Short Jokes

Short broken heart jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The broken heart humour may include short heart break jokes also.

  1. My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years time So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up!
  2. Do you know cat owners are 50% less likely to suffer from a heart attack mainly because their hearts are already broken
  3. After breaking up with my girlfriend, I got a device to monitor the condition of my heart. There was only one problem... It was broken.
  4. Written on the Bathroom Wall... *Here I sit
    Broken-hearted
    Tried to rhyme
    Couldn't even get the meter right.*
  5. Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted c**...? They are both crustaceans.
  6. If you have a grief nobody feels,
    If you have a pain nobody feels.

    If your heart is broken nobody feels,
    but if you f**... all will understand.

Share These Broken Heart Jokes With Friends




Broken Heart One Liners

Which broken heart one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with broken heart? I can suggest the ones about heartbroken and sad love.

  1. What gift did i get from the girl i like for Christmas? A broken heart .
  2. What do you get when you don't speak your mind? A Broken heart...
  3. What do you get after a gay divorce? Two *bro*-ken hearts
  4. Broken heart? Put it in rice.
  5. What killed the Aztec? A broken heart.
  6. How many cats does it take to ease the pain of a broken heart? *uncontrollable sobbing*
  7. Here I sit, broken hearted Tried to f**...,
    But then I sharted.

Silly & Ridiculous Broken Heart Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about broken heart you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heartless jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make broken heart pranks.

Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

So in essence, Jesus is...>!never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.!<

Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

a husband is about to die...

he goes out with his friends to give them the bad news. he tells them he has an announcement to make
-" i wanted to thank you guys for being there for me, i want to inform you that i have AIDS and i will die in a week. "
everyone was devastated cried and left with their heart a little broken.
when the man arrived home, he told his wife everything. after finishing she screamed:
-"AIDS! why did you tell them you have AIDS? you have cancer, not aids!"
the man turns to his wife and says.
-"im going to die, but im going to make sure no one goes to bed with you too".

Once Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear had upset stomachs.

They went to the doctor who gave Papa Bear a big dose, Mama Bear a medium dose, and Baby Bear a little dose, and asked them to come again the next day.
The next day, the doctor asked them about the condition of their stomach.
Papa Bear said, "Me very thankful, me did a tankful."
Mama Bear said, "Me very grateful, me did a plateful."
Baby Bear said, "Me broken hearted, me only f**...."

Top 5 Ways to Build Trust Once it is Broken

5. Do what you say
4. Honor your promises
3. Tell the truth
2. Speak from the heart
1. Remove from the domain and then add back into the domain after a reboot.

Adam gets into a terrible car accident.

He wakes up in the hospital, and the doctor explains, "You went straight through the windshield, but you are going to make a full recovery. Part of your ribcage was broken and started putting pressure on your heart, so we carefully removed it while you were under." Adam thinks on this, then asks the Doctor, "So does this mean I get another wife?"

Mildred was a 93-year-old woman, particularly despondent over the death of her husband, Earl

She decided she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army p**... and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital o**... and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, "Your heart would be just by your left breast."
Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

My Vietnamese neighbor brought me some pho

A Vietnamese woman recently moved in next door. I guess she wanted to make friends so she brought me a bowl of pho. She didn't say anything and smiled, so I assumed she didn't speak English.
That night, I devoured the Vietnamese delicacy but quickly realized it gave me a cold, as I was coughing my heart out.
The next day, she comes back to collect the bowl. She says English, Bowl please. I thought this was broken English so I tried to speak back and tell her how I caught a cold from the pho. I said pho cough . I wonder why she hates me so much.

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl.

She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army p**... and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital o**... and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.
"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.