Broken Arm Jokes
84 broken arm jokes and hilarious broken arm puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about broken arm that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Broken Arm Short Jokes
Short broken arm jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The broken arm humour may include short missing arm jokes also.
- Patient Doctor, I've broken my arm in several places Doctor Well don't go to those places.
- I told my doctor that I've broken my arm in 2 places. He suggested that I shouldn't visit these 2 places again.
- I was involved in a car accident today Got away with a broken arm, no idea who it belonged to but now it's mine.
- What has broken arms, broken legs and is on the bottom of a river? People who tell jokes about the Mafia.
- A man went to the doctors office and said "I've broken my arm in several places".... The Doctor tells him "Well, you should stop going to those places".
- Patient asking... Patient asking: "Doctor, it hurts when I press my leg. It hurts, when I press my arm. It hurts, when I press my head. What's that?"Doctor: "You have a broken finger!"
- No matter how hard I try, I always seem to be going round in circles. Having a broken arm while in a wheelchair isn't ideal.
- A man goes to the doctor A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor! I've broken my arm in several places!"
The Doctor looks at him like he's an idiot and says "Well then, don't go to those places..." - Did you hear about the baby born with a broken arm? He was trying to hang on until after the wedding.
- Q: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
A: Don't worry he's "ALRIGHT" now!
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Broken Arm One Liners
Which broken arm one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with broken arm? I can suggest the ones about fractured arm and severed arm.
- What do you call an Italian with a broken arm? Speech impaired.
- I've broken my arm in 3 places. I've decided to stop going to those places.
- What do you call an Irishman with two broken arms? sober
- What did the seal with the broken arm say to the shark. Do not consume if seal is broken
- What do you call an Italian with a broken arm? Speech impediment.
- What do you call a guy who has broken all his arms and legs? An Ambulance
- A Chemist with a broken arm fell in some lava His splint went up in flames
- The Story of Oedipus It all started off with a couple of broken arms...
- What do you call a broken arm which has healed? Castaway
- I've broken by arms today It was extremely painful but humerus
- Why Didn't Gandhi's Broken Arm Repair? Because he fought the Caste system
- Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
- What did a teenager with 2 broken arms say to his mother? Look mom, no hands!
- Knights of the Old retirement home What do rich knights with broken arms have.
Cast-les - Why were Jesus' hands nailed to the cross? *Because both of his arms were broken.*
Broken Arm Cast Jokes
Here is a list of funny broken arm cast jokes and even better broken arm cast puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- what's the difference between a movie, and someone with a broken arm? people get autographs from the cast, and the cast gets autographs from the people
- Why can't someone with a broken arm perform in a play? Because they're already in the cast
- Why did h**... save the plaster after his broken arm had healed? He wanted a hollow cast.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Broken Arm Jokes
What funny jokes about broken arm you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean amputated arm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make broken arm pranks.
Q: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
A: Don't worry he's "ALRIGHT" now!
An apartment building is on fire. Firefighters are on the scene, however both their ladder and life net are broken. A star quarterback sees the commotion and asks, "What's happening? Can I help?" The fire chief says, "There's a mother and baby stuck in the building on the 19th floor! The mother is up there in the window. Can you catch her child?" The mother frantically waves down to the men below and the football player shouts up to her, "Go ahead, I'm ready!" He holds his arms out and the women drops the infant. Just when the quarterback deftly catches the child, he spikes it to the ground yelling, "TOUCHDOWN!"
An apartment building is on fire. Firefighters are on the scene, however both their ladder and life net are broken. A star quarterback sees the commotion and asks, "What's happening? Can I help?" The fire chief says, "There's a mother and baby stuck in the building on the 19th floor! The mother is up there in the window. Can you catch her child?" The mother frantically waves down to the men below and the football player shouts up to her, "Go ahead, I'm ready!" He holds his arms out and the women drops the infant. Just when the quarterback deftly catches the child, he spikes it to the ground yelling, "TOUCHDOWN!"
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm.
The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms.
The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"
The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate.
We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!"
After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk.
With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.
The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen!
What does the dog do if Raptors win?"
The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border.
They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business.
By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets.
Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it.
John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up.
Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed.
John came down again and sprang back up.
This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds.
The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body.
Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on.
John replied, "I’m not sure. Do you know what 'pinata' means?"
Jets Fan
A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.
The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"
The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"
After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.
The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"
"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."
My dishwasher is broken...
My girlfriend broke her arm. :(
Trip to the doctor.
A man walks into a doctor's office and sits down on the hospital bed and says, "Doc, it hurts me on my leg right here, on my arm right here, and on my stomach right here. I don't know whats wrong!
The Doctor turns to the man and says,"You idiot, your finger is broken!"
From the Hospital...
Husband: Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the Hospital. They have been conducting examinations and tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head, though very strong, will not have any serious or lasting injury. But I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate my right foot.
Wife: Who is Tina?
A husband sends a text to his wife.
Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?
The Way Women Think
Husband's Message (by text):
"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"
Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"
Yesterday I r**... a deaf-mute girl...
...I´ve broken her arms so she couldn´t tell anyone.
Why did the little boy have a fractured arm and face?
Because he came from a broken home.
Husband send a text to his wife
Husband's text:
>Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays.
Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches.
I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility.
Love you.
Wife's response:
>Who's Paula?
Remember that AMA guy whose mother slept with him because he had broken his arms?
She was adding i**... to injury.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, please help me. I hurt all over."
The doctor asked the man to explain more.
The man said, "When I touch my arm it hurts, when I touch my leg it hurts, when I touch my head it hurts. Everywhere I touch it hurts."
The doctor examined the man and said. "Mr Smith, your finger is broken!"
What does a necrozoophiliac do to her late son who has broken arms?
Beat the dead horse.
A man is rushed into the hospital after an accident.
Doctor, Doctor! I've broken my arm in several places."
The Doctor examines the patient's arm, and after a few moments of staring with intensity, he looked at the patient.
Doctor: lol, well don't go to those places.
What is a 14 year old with two broken arms favorite piece of clothing?
Oedipal underwear
A redhead walks into the Dr. Office.....
She sits down on the examining table and tells the Doctor "I think I am going to die. I hurt all over. I touch my arm and it hurts, I my head and it hurts. I touch my abdomen and it hurts."
The doctor looks at her and says, "Let me guess that you are naturally blonde."
"Why yes, How did you guess?"
"Because you have a broken finger."
A blonde goes to the doctor...
A blonde goes to the doctor. The doctor looks at her and asks what seems to be the problem?
"Everything hurts! No matter where I touch."
"My arms, my thighs, my chest, my head! All of it!"
He looks her over completely and finally looks at her in amazement.
"Lady, your *finger* is broken."
Blonde joke
A blonde goes to the doctor. She uses her right index finger, says it hurts when I touch my leg, my collar bone and my arm. "What's wrong?" She says.
"Your finger is broken."
Some bloke started talking to me in the pub last night.
"My mate came off his motorbike today," he said.
"Oh really?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied. "He has slight brain damage, two broken arms and is completely blind in one eye."
"Blimey," I said. "No wonder he came off it then."
A man walks into a doctor's office with a broken arm.
He asks the doctor, "Doc, when my arm is healed, will I be able to play guitar?"
Doctor: "Well the fracture doesn't appear to be too bad, so yes you should be able to when it's all healed"
Man: "That's fantastic news! I've always wanted to be able to play guitar."
People complain about Game of Thrones having a lot of i**......
...but Bran could have broken his arms instead of his legs
A man walks into the doctors.
He says dr it hurts when I touch here
And touches his arm
It also hurts here
And touches his ribs
and here
And touches his back
It hurts here too
And touches his calf
It hurts here
And touches his elbow
and here
And touches his head
It even hurts here
And touches his abdomen
And the dr says -
Yeah you have a broken finger.
Burt and Mack are climbing Mount Everest.
Burt and Mack are climbing Mount Everest when suddenly Burt falls in to a crevasse 1000 ft. deep.
Hey Burt! Are you alive? shouts Mack from above.
Yeah I am.
I'm going to drop down a rope, grab onto it and I'll pull you out.
I can't. My arms are broken.
Okay then wrap your legs around them.
I can't. My legs are broken too.
Alright, then bite down real hard on the rope. I'll pull you up.
So Burt bites on the rope and Mack starts pulling.
1000 feet… 900 feet… 700 feet…. 500 feet…. 300 feet…
You alright Burt?
Yeahhhhhhhh….hhhhhhh…
What's the difference between a coconut and a Jolly Rancher?
Doesn't matter, your arms are broken.
A man with a broken arm comes in doctors office
Doctor: "Okay, so tell me how did you break it?"
Man: "Well, I was trying to avoid a child.."
Doctor: "Ah, yes, and you crashed your car."
Man: "Um, I fell off of bed."
A blonde walks into a hospital.
She was claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says Okay I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts . So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says Here. Ow. She then pokes her arm and says Here. Ow. She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say I know what's happened to you. What's happened to me?? The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, You have a broken finger.
A man went to the doctor's in an awful state. Cuts and bruises to his face and a suspected broken arm.
What happened to you? asked the doctor.
It's my wife, she had one of her dreadful nightmares.
Do you mean she did this to you while she was asleep?
Oh no, doctor, it was when she shouted out in her sleep, 'Quick, get out, my husband's coming home,' that, without thinking, I jumped out of the window.
A man goes to a doctors office, and says Whenever I touch anywhere on my body, it hurts
He touches his arm, and screams in agony. He touches his shoulder, and screams in agony. The doctor observes all this and says, I think you have a broken finger.
A man was telling friends how first-aid classes had prepared him for an emergency.
I saw a woman hit by a car, he said. She had a broken arm, a twisted knee and a skull fracture.
How horrible! What did you do?
Thanks to my first-aid training I knew just how to handle it. I sat on the curb and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting.
A blonde walks into a hospital
She complains that every bone in her body is broken.
The doctor says "where does it hurt?"
The blonde points at her leg, "here".
She points at her arm, "here"
She points at her other leg and arm "here and here".
The doctor examins her and promptly says "Ma'am, you have a broken finger"
A person goes to doctor. He has pain in every part of his body
Doctor: when you touch your leg, does it hurt?
Patient: yes
Doctor: when you touch your arm, does it hurt?
Patient: yes
Doctor: when you touch your head, does it hurt?
Patient: yes
Doctor: i think your finger is broken!
Doctor: Well, your arm is broken. You'll need a cast for about 8 weeks and you'll be good as new
Me: When the cast comes off, will I be able to play the piano?
Doctor: I don't see why not.
Me: AWESOME!!!! I've always wanted to play the piano
A man goes to the doctor and tells the doctor
"Please doc you have to help me. Everywhere I touch my self it hurts. If I touch my leg, ow that hurts, if I touch my arm, ow that hurts. If I touch my head ow that hurts.
Doctor looks him over and asks him " Sir where are you from?"
The guys says "I from Newfoundland"
The Doctor says "Son your fingers broken!"
