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Broke Jokes

183 broke jokes and hilarious broke puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about broke that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

When financial ruin is the subject, who doesn't love a good "I'm so broke" joke? Learn the funniest broke jokes around today and no matter how poor you might be, you'll always be able to find a way to make yourself and others laugh. From prosthetic ruptures to being unbreakable, you'll never run out of jokes.

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Funniest Broke Short Jokes

Short broke jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The broke humour may include short bankrupt jokes also.

  1. My bullies broke my MP3-Player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again. Tomorrow, I'll bring an MP5.
  2. My girlfriend broke up with me for being too un-American I saw it coming from a kilometre away
  3. I dated a girl in a wheelchair She broke up with me because I kept pushing her around.
    I said, "why don't you stand up for yourself?"
  4. My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine He'll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force
  5. I broke up with a guy years ago due to his obsession with counting... .... I wonder what he's up to these days.
  6. How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb? The real question is: who broke the lightbulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?
  7. My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!! It's not my birthday but a scary looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house
  8. So I broke up with my handicapped girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.. But guess who came crawling back!!?!
  9. My girlfriend just admitted she used to be a Christian, so I broke up with her. It might seem judgemental, but I have only known her since she was Christine.
  10. Broke up with an ex years ago because she had a weird obsession with counting… I wonder what she's up to nowadays

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Broke One Liners

Which broke one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with broke? I can suggest the ones about breaking bad and poor.

  1. My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
  2. What did Mario say to Peach when they broke up? It's not you, it's a me a mario!
  3. Why did elon musk go broke? Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.
  4. A robber broke into my house last night looking for money So I woke up to look with him.
  5. I broke my finger today... But on the other hand I am completely fine.
  6. Someone broke into my house and stole 20% of my couch. Ouch
  7. Broke up with my girlfriend today It's cool though, she said we can still be cousins.
  8. Yo mama so fat... I pictured her in my head and broke my neck.
  9. Someone broke into my house last night and stole my Limbo stick.. How low can you get?
  10. What do you call a Mexican guy who's car broke down? Joaquin
  11. My roommate's cellphone broke He wants me to let you guys know he's vegan
  12. I broke one of my fingers at work today. On the other hand, everything is OK.
  13. What happened when the escalator broke down? Everyone stopped and staired! 🥁
  14. I dated a blind girl and she broke up with me. Guess who's back with a different voice
  15. My career as a street fighter didn't last very long... I broke my hand punching a curb.

So Broke Jokes

Here is a list of funny so broke jokes and even better so broke puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? It was given two consecutive sentences.
  • I broke up with my girlfriend because she was a communist. To be honest, there were a lot of red flags
  • I broke up with my girlfriend after 5 years, after I found she was a communist. I should have known, there were red flags everywhere
  • My girlfriend just broke up with me for being too unamerican.. ..but honestly I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
  • Thieves broke into my shop and stole 15 cases of Red Bull I don't know how these people sleep at night
  • If I had $1 for every time I read a racist comment on the internet I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read.
  • My wife broke up with me yesterday because I'm a compulsive gambler and ever since, all I can think about is... ...how to win her back.
  • Growing up, my dad said we should treat him like a god... ...so we pretty much ignored him until we were sick, hurt, or broke.
  • How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to beat the room for being black and one to arrest the bulb for being broke.
  • My girlfriend just broke up with me for sleeping with her Grandmother Turns out I can't have my Kate and Edith too.

You Are So Broke Jokes

Here is a list of funny you are so broke jokes and even better you are so broke puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My telescope broke the other day and I was hoping the local observatory could repair it They said they'd look into it.
  • I don't know why I broke up with my girl at the gym... I guess we just weren't working out.
  • A thief A thief broke in to my house last night........He started searching my house for money so I woke up and searched with him.
  • My girlfriend broke up with me because she says I'm too 'controlling'. Funny thing is, I don't remember giving her permission to speak.
  • An 18 y/o boy getting a BJ from and 80 y/o woman and a tightrope walker have the same thought...What is it? Don't look down!
    My Dad broke this one out this morning thought I would share.
  • I broke up with my girlfriend via walkie talkie She didn't get it, no matter how many times I said it was over.
  • Me and my wife recently started using Only Fans. Because our air conditioner broke.
    And this will definitely help pay for a new air conditioner.
  • My girlfriend broke up with me cause I stole her wheelchair But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
  • I told my doctor that I recently broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
  • My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. It's ok though, she always comes crawling back.
Broke joke, My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

Broke Neck Jokes

Here is a list of funny broke neck jokes and even better broke neck puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It wasn't fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago. But now I can look back and laugh.
  • How did the guitarist die? He crashed his pickup into a bridge and broke his neck.
  • Best year of my life! Last year was the best year of my life. Broke my neck and I have never looked back since.
  • Yo mama so fat I thought of her in my head and I broke my neck.
  • My girlfriend broke up with me after I snapped her neck She'd prefer if I snapped pictures of her face, but either way, "snapchat is dead like our relationship so goodbye."
  • People always keep making jokes about how people died in the Holocaust, my grandpa died during the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower and broke his neck.
  • Bush Senior broke his neck He was trying to show Jeb Bush how to dodge wrenches, hey Jeb if George can dog a shoe then I can dog wrench!
  • Did you hear about the guy that broke his neck at the golf course? .... he slipped and fell off the ball washer
  • Alpo I told you that feeding your husband all that dog food would finally kill him!
    It wasn't the Alpo, he broke his neck trying to lick his b**....

Im So Broke Jokes

Here is a list of funny im so broke jokes and even better im so broke puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My friend told me he broke my lamp He said I hope you're not mad.
    No, im delighted
  • A man tried to sell me a steak today... for £25, instead of being rude and saying how overpriced that was, I simply told him that im broke and I carnivored it.
  • I would do drugs But im broke already without them...
  • My girlfriend broke up with me because im obssesed with TOP She was the tear in my heart

You So Broke Jokes

Here is a list of funny you so broke jokes and even better you so broke puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My girlfriend broke up with me because she said I referenced video games too much. That's such a ridiculous reason to Fallout 4.
  • What do you call the drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
  • I just broke up with my girlfriend who had a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone on the side.
  • I waved the waitress over to our table. I said, "Could you get the bill for us?"
    She said, "Absolutely."
    I said, "Thanks. We're kind of broke."
  • My sister sat on my glasses and broke them... I suppose it's my fault for not taking them off first
  • How many LAPD officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They shoot the room for being black and beat up the bulb for being broke.
  • What did Mario tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her? ...It's not a you, it's a me, Mario!
  • My girlfriend broke up with me because I am a compulsive gambler Ever since, all I can think about is how to win her back
  • I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.
  • So I broke my waterproof speaker, by throwing it into a pool. I filed a request for a new speaker, but the company responded "it's not our fault the pool was empty".
Broke joke, So I broke my waterproof speaker, by throwing it into a pool.

Fun-Filled Broke Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about broke you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean busted jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make broke pranks.

I broke my finger yesterday...

... on the other hand, I'm okay.

A m**... was having an affair with a 15 year old girl who had lied about her age, when he learned the truth he broke it off and over the next few week guilt set in and he confessed to his wife. She screamed at him,

"How could you cheat on me like that with an older woman!?!?!?".

"What are the broken condoms doing on the couch?!"

"Our children have names, Harold!"

I broke up with a Japanese girl last week...

It s**..., because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.

I broke up with my girlfriend, who is an Optometrist

She meant well, but she was just too annoying in bed. She was always saying, "So, do you like it better like this.... or like this?"

I broke up with this cross eyed girl...

I thought she was seeing someone else.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer broke?

The best jokes also teach you something.

In 1954 John Stapp broke a huge record. Using a rocket powered sled that was going 632 mph, he came to a full stop in just over 1 second. He experienced 46.2 G's making his 168 pound body feel for an instant like it was 7,700 pounds and he STILL only felt half as fat as yo mamma.

"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor...

"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
"Screw you" she screamed back at me.
Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital!

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday ..

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because of my obsession.
She said, "I'm sick of it. You actually believe that you're a Transformer. It's s**.... I've had enough and I'm leaving you."
I said, "But, Baby, I can change."
She said, "There you go again!"

I'm really annoyed, my wifes sister sat on my glasses and broke them!

to be fair, it was probably my fault for leaving them on

My girlfriend broke up with me because I am extremely handsome and too many girls want me

She said something else about my chronic lying disorder but I wasn't really listening

If I had a dollar for every time I read "OP is a racist"

I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read

My mom told me that I objectify women.

When she asked me why I broke up with my last girlfriend I said "it didn't work out." She said "be more specific." I said "I just told you she didn't exercise."

I came across a broken escalator the other day

All I could do was stair.

My wife saw her ex high school boyfriend, drunk in the street. She said he started drinking when she broke up with him after graduation decades ago. I said....

....Impressive. .. I've never seen anyone celebrate that long before.

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much...

What a s**... thing to Fallout 4.

I lost my watch at a party once...

An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was s**... harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.

My girlfriend and I broke up because of a difference in religious beliefs.

She didn't believe I was God.

I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand everything is fine.

I told my doctor I broke my arm in 2 places today

He told me not to go back to those places

My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp,

I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again.

A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting.

"Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.
"Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"
"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"

An ugly, broke, single man stood in my way

So I moved the mirror

Why aren't broken bones a problem in India?

Everyone is already in a caste

My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly had 9 kittens, so my wife told me to put them in a sack and throw them in the river…

I did it but it broke my heart.
I quite liked her dad…

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday.

She said "she didn't see me enough", and I said, "well that's dumb, now you're never going to see me".

My girlfriend broke up with me because I'm obsessed with Linkin park

But in the end it doesn't even matter

Thieves broke into my house last night looking for money...

I quickly got up and started looking with em!

If someone broke into my house and stole all the lights...

I'd be absolutely delighted

My girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too mysterious

Or did she?

My friend told me that onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I broke his nose with a coconut.

I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday

**She said:** You'll never find someone like me.
**I said:** That's the point.

My girlfriend broke up with me for stealing her wheelchair

But I'm not bothered, I know she'll come crawling back any day now

I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places...

He said to stop going to those places.

Some girl texted me the space button on her phone is broke

She texted "thespacebuttononmyphoneisbrokencanyoupleasegivemeanalternative" Can someone please tell me what ternative means.

My girlfriend and I broke up today

Her: "I just need time."
Me: "Okay. Yeah, I understand."
Her: "And distance, as well."
Me: "Fine. But can I ask you one last question?"
Her: "Go ahead."
Me: "What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?"

So I came home from work yesterday ....

.......To find that someone broke into my apartment. Looking around, it seemed like they didn't really take a whole lot. My TV was still there, my PS4, and my legos were fine. But the apartment was dark, even when I tried to turn on the lights. Seems the only thing that was taken were my lightbulbs and a couple lamps...I was delighted.

During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?"

He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."
I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."

How many cops does it need to change a broken light bulb?

No idea, but they beat up the room for being black and the bulb for being broke

I used to date my english teacher

but she broke up with me due to incorrect use of the colon

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women, I think she is overreacting.

She asked why I broke up with the last girl and I said
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific so I said
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."

I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I?

McDonald's ice cream machine

I broke up with my Thai girlfriend today.

She was a little bit too c**... for my taste.

Can't believe someone broke into my shed and stole my limbo stick

How low can ya go

Last week someone broke into my house and stole 20% of my couch.

Ouch.

Broke joke, Last week someone broke into my house and stole 20% of my couch.

jokes about broke