Broad Jokes

What are some Broad jokes?

Feminism is a broad issue.

A feminist told me I really need to take a Women's Studies class.

I told her "There is no way I'm going to spend a semester studying a broad."

My friend told me all women are the same.

He always makes broad generalizations.

A guy is driving happily along in his car with

his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking, Sir?"

"No. Why?" replies the man. "Was I all over the road?"

"No," replies the officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat broad in the passenger seat that made me suspicious."

Grandpa is becoming more sarcastic.....

I was talking about studying abroad for school to my grandmother. My grandpa looks up from his paper, and in all seriousness said, " I once studied a broad, then I married her." He returned to reading.

I just made this one up so cut me some slack...

A man and his wife are at the beach and she catches him staring at a beautiful woman. Predictably she gets mad at him.

Man: Honey, you know I only have eyes for you!

Wife: Then why are you ogling that woman over there?

Man: My dear, I assure you it doesn't mean anything. It is purely for educational purposes.

Wife: What do you mean?

Man: I've always wanted to study a broad!

(I'm sorry)

A teacher asks her class

to use the word "contagious". Roland, the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious."

"Well done, Roland," says the teacher.

"Can anyone else try?"

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."

"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"

Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."

My friend said she was only taking Women's Studies courses this quarter

It sounds like a broad curriculum to me.

Have you seen the new Broadway production about the dictionary?

It's a great play on words.

Dad says, "College students are more interested in women today than ever before.."

A lot of them are in a program where they study a broad

What do you call a row of women all arranged in order of attractiveness? [oc]

A broad spectrum.

I live in the United States. Upon taking some classes in France I notice a gorgeous bombshell pass me. I check her out hard.

I guess you could say I was really studying a broad.

There was a Broadway performance about puns...

But don't get too excited. It was just a play on words.

You should never generalize women.

It's wrong to make broad assumptions.

I was in the bar, quietly enjoying a beer, when this big, fat, ugly broad came up an started talking to me...

I asked, "Excuse me, do you have a pen?"

She replied, "Yes, why?"

I said, "Well, you better get back in it before the farmer realizes that you've escaped."

Why are gynecology students the most well-travelled?

They have to study a broad.

I was having some trouble with a crossword.

I said to my dad, "I'm stuck on this crossword. Six letters, a broad road in a town or city. I still haven't got it!"

"Avenue?"

"No, I haven't, stop rubbing it in."

My friend is majoring in Gender Studies.

He's been a broad for the past semester.

I approached the grieving widow at the funeral.

"Tell me my dear, what were his final words?"

She sniffled and feebly replied.

"You don't scare me with that gun Martha, you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!"

The only time my car goes 0-100 real fast.

Is when it's sitting in broad daylight on a summer day.

Mom, am I ugly?

"Of course not, honey. You have everything a man wants, a deep voice, broad shoulders, facial hair..."

I was chatting with a fat girl visiting from London. She said, "How would you Americans describe me?"

I tried to be nice so I said, "Perhaps just as a broad broad abroad."

My baby is costing a fortune in import costs.

It only drinks milk that comes from a broad.

"Hot girl, likes horses" is a pretty broad demographic.

... I'll show myself out.

Some guys beat me up with brass knuckles in broad daylight.

It was a pretty brazen act of violence.

what's the difference between a pitbull and a jewish broad?

a pitbull will eventually let it go

Why did the student go to the strip club on his 18th birthday?

He wanted to study a broad

I spend two years a broad

I still have no idea how to walk in high heels

What do you call domestic abuse overseas?

Abusing a broad

I told my wife that her new dress made her look broader.

"Are you saying I look fat!?" she said.

"Not at all, honey" I replied. "I meant it makes you look more like a broad."

Did you hear that actress from Legally Blonde was stabbed?

Me: Yeah. She was stabbed in California, in broad day light. The one from legally blonde. Reese....Something.... with-er... um...with-uh... ..ummm...

Friend: Witherspoon?

Me: No. With a knife.

So I saw a Broadway show about Dictionaries the other night.

I guess one could call it a Play on words .

I love the English cricket team....

The thinnest guy is called broad, ugliest guy is called swann, slowest fielder is trott, guy who is 'behind' the stumps is called prior, and guy whose father's name is john is called peter-son. And the guy who is named Monty goes in with his clothes on.

No doubt, this Cricket team deserves to be led by a Cook.

My friend went to Thailand to get a sex change. It was taking a bit longer than expected.

So I mailed to ask if he was still a broad.

I can't believe they got some broad

church cast member to play The Doctor!

Daylight must be a woman

Because it's always a broad.

What I want in a woman

Friend 1: I think it's about time I got a girlfriend. Can you help set me up?

Friend 2: Sure, what do you want her to be like?

Friend 1: I don't really care but she has to be short.

Friend 2: Well that's a little broad

What do you call a bean that lives overseas?

A broad bean.

What do you call a fat female host of a talk radio show about fishing?

A broadcasting broad casting broad.

My girlfriend in college left me for another woman.

I completely misunderstood her when she said she was going to study a broad.

It would be convenient to have a really broad word to use in place of nouns we forget/don't know.

Never mind thats already a thing.

What makes a road broad?

the letter b.

I'll show myself out now....

She told me I was a talented lover

I told her I studied a broad.

I wanted to ask "What's up with women"

But that was too broad of a question.

I hate broad generalizations . . .

they're ALL terrible.

Have you heard of the artist that creates beautiful artwork by dipping his girlfriend in paint and dragging her across a canvas?

He always paints with a broad brush.

How do you spot a misogynist artist?

He paints women with a broad brush.

GF asked me where I learned Kama Sutra

Told her I studied a broad.

You hear the one about the transgender student?

He spent his Junior year a broad.

Why did Bruce Jenner go back to college?

So he could spend a semester a broad.

My great great great great great uncle during the revolutionary war was quoted for his famous last words, saying...

"That sniper can't hit the broad side of a ba...."

How to make Broad jokes?

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