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British Pound Jokes

61 british pound jokes and hilarious british pound puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about british pound that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest British Pound Short Jokes

Short british pound jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The british pound humour may include short british people jokes also.

  1. I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds! The only problem is I'm British...
  2. My British friend told me he lost 50 pounds. He seemed really upset when I congratulated him.
  3. Did you hear about the fat guy who spent his free time in a British casino? He heard it was a fast way to lose pounds.
  4. You, too, could lose 100 pounds with Herbalife... ...Simply by paying British money to sign up.
  5. This simple change in lifestyle will help you lose 2 pounds every week! Just invest in the British stock market
  6. What is the similarity between a fat American and rich British person Both of them have a lot of pounds
  7. I lost over a hundred pounds last week That's the last time I'll gamble in a British casino.
  8. I don't know how Valve managed to do it, but... they even included the British Pound in their summer sale this year.
  9. I wanted to get in shape so I thought I'd try a British gym... I gained 5 kilos and lost 70 pounds
  10. An American man walks into a British sports store. "How much do those weights cost?"
    "Ten pounds"
    "I know how much they weigh, I want to know how much they cost."

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British Pound One Liners

Which british pound one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with british pound? I can suggest the ones about british english and pounds.

  1. Why are rich british people fat? because they measure their wealth in pounds
  2. My favorite rapper is 50 cent Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.
  3. I lost 80 pounds a while back... British prostitutes are expensive.
  4. I lost 216 pounds. Never going to another British casino again...
  5. Why are british employees fat Because they get paid by the pound
  6. Lost 200 pounds. Here's my story. British prostitutes are *expensive.*
  7. British people are always recording their finances because the camera adds ten pounds.
  8. I never realized British coins were so heavy They can really add up to pounds.
  9. My friend told me he lost 87 pounds and he's really mad about it. British people be crazy
  10. What's that diving? Is it a bird, Is it a plane... No it's the British Pound...
  11. The British government is renaming the pound They figured the ounce was more appropriate.
  12. The British Pound? You mean the British Ounce.
  13. I lost 40 Pounds in 4 months!! I didn't realize the British stock market was so volatile.
  14. What do you call 2000 British Pounds? A ton of money
  15. What weighs more British or American currency? British it's a pound.

British Pound Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about british pound you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean british accent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make british pound pranks.

What's the difference between an American and a British p**...?...

...one pounds for work the other works for pounds

I'm taking your mom to the new British dollar store

p**....

What's the Difference Between an American Anorexia Patient and a British Anorexia Patient?

One develops an illness, starts losing pounds, and seeks treatment; the other develops an illness, seeks treatment, and starts losing pounds.

What does a British man do when he finds a p**... and is in the mood?

He pounds.

The British are dropping pounds faster than a Biggest Loser contestant

sorry plz kill me

The British pound is losing value so fast...

...so fast that they're renaming it the tonne to give the impression it still has weight.

List of things falling faster than Joe Hart

The British Pound

Did you hear about the new deal on liposuction at that British clinic?

each pound is now only $1.33

Cheap British h**... are the best

...pound for pound

People in England must be really strong

I knew a British guy that said his necklace was 100 pounds, but he talked about it like it was nothing.

A fat British man walks into a store...

... He sees a box of pills labeled "Lose 50 Pounds Instantly, if it doesn't work we'll give you your money back!". Excited and with nothing to lose, the man promptly purchases the pills and gobbles them down on the spot, but to not effect. Angrily, he tells the cashier it didn't work and he wants his money back. The cashier replies "Yes it did, you have the receipt as proof."

I wasn't seeing the results I wanted from the gym

So I started going to British casinos instead. I'm only two weeks in and I already lost 40 pounds!

What do you call two British people having s**...?

Great British pound.

Why can British people lose weight faster?

Because every time they buy something, they lose some pounds!

Asked my British doctor how to lose 100 pounds quickly

He replied there is no quick way, but this consultation will cost you a hundred quid.

My friend told me she lost thirty pounds.

...but then I remembered she is British and lost 30£ instead.

My friends recommended the British Casino weight loss method

It really works. I've already lost fifty pounds.

I told my british friend to take his crush to p**...

He said it was fun, but she called him a cheapskate.

So I won a grand prize at a local trivia game.

They went up to me and said, Congrats! You've won
a 1 British dollar Sandwich that compresses 1/4 gallons worth of 25c coins!
And I said, So a 1 pound quart quarter pounder quarter pounder?

What's the difference between British currency and American currency?

You can Pound me but you can't Dollar me.

What's the difference between an American p**... and a British p**...?

You can have s**... with 200 pounds.