The Best 35 British People Jokes

Following is our collection of funny British People jokes. There are some british people brits jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these british people citizens puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest British People Jokes and Puns

Why are rich british people fat?

because they measure their wealth in pounds

Why do British people pronounce the word Bri'ish like they do?

Because they drank all the T.

(Told to me by my 11yo)

My favorite rapper is 50 cent

Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.

What's the difference between watts and ohms?

Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live.

jokes about british people

Why do British people say British like Bri ish?

Because they drank the t.


Why do British people say, "I'm Bri ish"?

Because they love to drink the t.

Why don't British people pronounce the t in Bri'ish?

Because they already drank all the t

British people be like I'm Bri ish

It's because they drank the t

There's a plane crashing down...

On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to crash. Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."

Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.

The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.

The Prime Minister grabs a chute and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"

The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.

The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."

"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."

When British people pronounce words like Water they say it like Wuh-er . So what happened to the T?

They drank it

Why do British people pronounce it bri'ish?

Because the Tea fell in the harbor.

You can explore british people civilians reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean british people men dad jokes. There are also british people puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do British people call themselves Bri ish

Because they drank the t

A British Cop and an American Cop are talking in a bar

The British cop says "they might take away our tasers because they sometimes kill people"

The American Cop says "sometimes? seems inneficient"

When British people do cocaine, they don't do lines

They do queues.

Why don't British people cry at funerals?

They are used to Casual Teas

Why Americans don't need to feel bad when they are criticized by the British

Sometimes I hear people from Great Britain talk about how bad the education is in The US. I do get a little offended, but then I realize they are just salty because we beat them in The Civil War.

I know what a propaganda is

It's when British people take a really good look at things

Accordion to a scientific study released by the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia,

most people will not immediately notice if one of the words in a sentence has been replaced with a musical instrument until they've read more than three quarters of the way through it.

Why do british people pronounce water as wa ah?

They don't want to have t in the water again


The British Prime Minister resigned today.

I guess the people lost their Truss.

Now we know

Why do British people pronounce British as Bri'ish?

Because they drank the tea.

[OC] Three British people were arguing about who drinks the hottest tea.

The first person says: "The moment my tea is ready, I pour it into the cup and drink it all up".
The second person laughs and says: "That's it? I drink my tea straight from the Kettle".
The third person scoffs and says: "You both are amatuers. I just put all the ingredients in my mouth and sit on the stove".

British people are always recording their finances

because the camera adds ten pounds.

I was wondering why British people pronounce it as Bri-ish.

Then I realised that they drank all the tea.

why are pyramids located in egypt?

they were too heavy for british people to steal and put in british museums

Do you think British people judge others on their accent?

I judge people long before they’ve opened their mouths.

I was at a hospital, talking to some patients.

I tried to lighten the mood with a coronavirus joke. Barely anyone reacted at first, but eventually everyone got it. However, the Chinese guy got it right off the bat. Some people have called my joke tasteless, however. It really killed the mood. But I bet the British variation of this joke will spread much quicker!

Why do British people put milk in their tea?

It's not clear.

Why do British people pronounce it "bri'ish"?

Because after the incident in Boston, they always hide the t


Terrorists hijack a plane flying into London. They tell everyone to raise their hands over their heads if they are British or American.

They wanted French people too but they already had their hands up.

British people be like im bri ish . get it?

cause they drink the T ?

why do british people love staring at fake news?

they want to take a propaganda

Why are british people good at chess?

Because their queen can't die.

why can't the British people pronounce "T"?

They drank all of it.


What vegetable is the favourite of British people?

Queuecumbers.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the british people armenians puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working british people soldiers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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