Brightest Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Little Joe was at the farm, when he saw a dead chicken.

It was lying on its back, rigor mortis locking its legs in the air. He asks his dad why the chicken has his legs in the air. Dad, who's not exactly the brightest fellow, tells him that it's so that Jesus can reach down and pull them to heaven.

Later, at the family reunion, Joe runs to his dad crying.

"What's the matter?" Asked dad, concerned.

Little Joey cries "Mum nearly died! She was on her back with her legs in the air screaming 'Jesus I'm coming!' If it wasn't for uncle bruce holding her down she would've been gone forever!"

A group of professors are on a plane.

A group of professors are on a plane as an experiment. They were told that the plane was made by their students. Naturally everyone panicked, their students were not the brightest people. However there was one professor who did not show any sings of fear. When they asked him why he replied "how can i be worried if the plane won't even take off."

Son: (Sobbing) "Dad, my teacher said I would never be the brightest star in the sky"

Dad: "You're not Sirius?!"

World War 1 could've been easily be prevented..

I mean, singing Take me out probably wasn't Franz Ferdinand's brightest idea.

I posted a question about the brightest star in the night sky, but all I got were joke replies.

Should've added the [Sirius] tag.

Doctor, doctor, I keep suffering from halucinations that I'm the brightest star in the night sky.

Surely, you can't be Sirius.

2 Canadians are sitting outside watching the night sky.

When the first guy asks the other If you had to be one star in the night sky, which one would you be, eh?

The second guy thinks for a moment and says I'd probably be the brightest star in the sky.

To which the first guy quickly responds You can't be Sirius A!

Did you know that fireflies are the smartest insect?

They're the brightest one.

I just graded a social studies essay on capitalism

Dan, my brightest student, wrote a brilliant essay about how wages and labor are balanced to ensure that a vendor sells his product at a competitive price. I gave him A marks.

Emily wrote an essay that touched upon the fundamentals, but didn't really explain the concepts with the quality and depth I was looking for. I gave her B marks.

Sasha wrote an paper on why capitalism is a disgusting byproduct of greedy fascists who seek to control the population. Needless to say, I gave him Karl Marx.

A popular kid at school said I was the brightest person he knew.

I think his exact words were, "I've never seen someone so pasty white".

What's the brightest airship ever made?

LED Zeppelin

30 rednecks walk into a bar..

..they're not the brightest, you would have thought they'd learned their lesson

Which teeth are the brightest?

The wisdom teeth

What are the funniest brightest jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Brightest? Well, here are the best Brightest puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Brightest pick up lines to share with friends.

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