Bright Idea Jokes
22 bright idea jokes and hilarious bright idea puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bright idea that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bright Idea Short Jokes
Short bright idea jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bright idea humour may include short bad idea jokes also.
- TIFU by listening to adults when I was a kid. They kept saying "Don't get any bright ideas." Sure enough, I never did.
- How many GOP congressmen does it take to change a light bulb? Doesn't matter, light wasn't burnt out, they haven't had any bright ideas in decades to turn it on.
- Turned out the lights I started walking down the stairs, and I flipped the light switch to off.
It wasn't a bright idea.
I'll see myself out. - DIY - previous owners thought a bright red living room a good idea. 12 coats of heavy duty primer later... This Kilz the walls.
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Bright Idea One Liners
Which bright idea one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bright idea? I can suggest the ones about idea and better invention.
- To the guy who invented the light bulb That was one bright idea you had.
- So I had this really bright idea Unfortunately I love the dark, so yeah.
- How to you measure the luminosity of an idea? You determine how bright it is.
- Why do the Japaneese have s**... eyes? Do you have any idea how bright a nuke is?
Bright Idea Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bright idea you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean genius jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bright idea pranks.
Two blondes are out shopping
When they're done they head back to their convertible, but suddenly realize they locked the keys inside the car.
While they stand there, not knowing what to do, one of the blondes finally has the bright idea to try and pick the lock with her bobby pin.
The other blonde looks up worriedly at the sky and says, "Hurry up! It's about to rain and we left the top down!"
Today, in math class,
I had the urge to f**.... I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and f**... at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I f**....
Loudly.
A Manager comes back from a Leadership Seminar
A manager comes back from a Leadership Seminar, full of bright ideas and cheerfulness. He calls a meeting of all of his employees and announces that his office door will be open, and he will be easily accessible for the rest of the week, and if there is ANYTHING an employee needs, now is the time to come talk to him.
Less than an hour later, the manager is sitting in his office, and Joe comes in sheepishly.
"Boss," says Joe, "I've got a problem."
"No, Joe!" says the manager. "In this company, we do not have problems. We have opportunities!"
"Ok boss," says Joe, "I've got a drinking opportunity"
Two Irishmen have a bright idea...
p**... and Murphy are working on a building site. p**... says to Murphy,
"I'm gonna get the day off. I'm gonna pretend I've gone mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'm a lightbulb, I'm a lightbulb!"
Murphy watches in amazement.
The foreman shouts: "p**..., go home. You've gone mad."
So p**... leaves the site. Murphy starts packing is kit up to leave as well.
"Where do you think you're going?" asks the foreman.
"Well, I can't work in the friggin dark!" said Murphy.
One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital:
One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a Singaporean.
However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn't differentiate between them.
However, the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up in front of her and exclaimed, "Heil h**...!"
At hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while the Jewish baby soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the Singaporean baby turned to the Filipino baby and said, "Clean that up!"
Farmer Dave
So I knew this farmer, his name was Dave and he wasn't really bright, but he tried his best.
One day he called me over to his farm and announced proudly that he was feeding his cows m**.... I was skeptical and told him it was a bad idea, but he didn't listen.
The next day he called me, and told me the news. The cows had died.
I said, "Oh no Dave, I'm so sorry to hear that. What are you gonna do now?" He said he was gonna try and sell their hides and meat, "Hey do you want some too?"
I said, "Nah, the steaks are too high."
A man and his wife are playing golf . . .
on an old country course. The man shanks a drive on the back nine and his ball ends up next to a barn. He gets the bright idea to open both the barn doors and hit through rather than hitting around.
He whacks the ball and it flies into the barn. It then hits a beam and ricochets back out, hitting his wife in the head and killing her instantly.
A year or so later he's playing the same course with a couple of buddies. On the same hole, he shanks his drive again and ends up right next to the barn.
They go over to look at his ball and one of his buddies suggests that he open the barn doors to hit through.
"No way, not on your life!" the guy screams.
"Why on earth not?" the buddy asks.
"I hit that exact same shot about a year ago . . .," his voice quivered and his eyes started to mist, "and, and, and, I ended up with an 8 on this hole."
Paraprosdokians
* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
* Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
* We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
* War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
* I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
* In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put'DOCTOR'.
* Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are s**....
* You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
* I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
* To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
* Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
* You're never too old to learn something s**....
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy.
The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?”
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.”
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.”
“OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.”
“There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
Two blondes were shopping at the mall.
When they were done, they went out to their car, an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car.
So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.
Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock.
The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded, "Hurry, hurry! It's going to rain and we left the top down!"