Briefcase Jokes
43 briefcase jokes and hilarious briefcase puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about briefcase that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Briefcase Short Jokes
Short briefcase jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The briefcase humour may include short basket case jokes also.
- A clown with a briefcase walks into a bar The barman calls security and says "sorry, no funny business"
- Some people say I have my Father's face Not sure how they know, the briefcase I put it in is locked
- Just witnessed the shortest ever dispute in court about a guy who supposedly stole a woman's bag. It was a briefcase.
- Two thieves were looking to steal a briefcase of money in a room full of luggage. The first thief picked one up and asked Is this it?
The second thief replied It seems to be the case. - bad day today I put on my shirt, a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!!
Credit Rodney Dangerfield - Two detectives are at a crime scene. They locate a briefcase that is vital evidence to the investigation.
One of the detectives says to the other "It's an open-and-shut case". - What did the cop say to the thief he caught trying to steal a briefcase full of corn chips? That's nacho briefcase, hand it over.
- There was a m**... in town recently But the detectives found the m**... weapon in only 5 minutes...
...It was a brief-case - Did you hear about the wallet the Rabbi made out of all the f**... he snipped? If you stroked it, it became a briefcase !!
- My uncle performed circumcisions... He kept all the f**... and had a tailor make it into a wallet. Rub it for 5 minutes and you get a briefcase.
Share These Briefcase Jokes With Friends
Briefcase One Liners
Which briefcase one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with briefcase? I can suggest the ones about suitcase and phone case.
- Why don't lawsuits last very long? Because most lawyers have briefcases.
- Why was the lawyer home early? Briefcase
- Where does the pervert keep the underwear he steals? In his briefcase!
- What do boxers carry their underwear in? A briefcase
- What do you call a man in a tree with a briefcase? A branch manager.
- I was on trial for stealing a man's luggage. It was a briefcase.
- Did you hear the one about the briefcase thief? It was an open and shut case.
- Have you meet my briefcase? I named him Justin... Justin Case
- What do you call a nun carrying a briefcase? Nun of your business.
- I bought a briefcase from a new company in Northern California. It's a Zero Hella-burton.
- What sort of bag makes everything go faster? A *brief*case
- I found my stolen briefcase pretty quickly... You could say it was a brief case.
Amusing Briefcase Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about briefcase you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean briefs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make briefcase pranks.
Two lawyers sit down in a restaurant...
Two lawyers sit down in a restaurant and open their briefcases, take out sandwiches, and start eating. A waitress comes up and says, "Excuse me, sirs, you can't eat your own food here." The lawyers shrug and exchange sandwiches.
A Soviet archeology team is in Egypt on an expedition
They come across a pyramid and inside it is a mummy. Unfortunately, they can't determine who the mummy is. They get in touch with the NKVD who arrive a few hours later in the form of three hulking men carrying briefcases. The NKVD goons go inside the pyramid. After a few hours they come out.
"The mummy is Amenhotep XIII" says one of the NKVD goons.
"How did you find out?" asks one of the archeologists.
"He admitted it", replies the NKVD goon.
Today just wasn't my day.
I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. Finally leave the house for work and the doorknob comes loose and just breaks off.
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom..
Two lawyers walk into a restaurant.
They put their briefcases on the floor and order two coffees. They get their coffee and pull out lunches from their briefcases.
"Sorry," the waitress says, "You can`t eat your own food here."
The lawyers look at one another, shrug their shoulders and swap sandwiches.
The Unluckiest Guy in the world
A huge guy is drinking in a bar with his friend, when suddenly he sees a dude who looks really depressed. He looks at his friend and goes, 'You see the guy that seems to be having a really bad day? Well I'm gonna make his day even worse'. So he walks up to the dude and drinks the glass that was in front of him. The dude suddenly breaks into tears and starts crying hysterically. So the guy is surprised and tries to calm him down: ' Dude relax! I was just messing with you. I'll buy another drink'. The dude wipes off his tears and goes, 'I just had the worst day of my life. My car broke down on my way to work so I had to take a cab. I forgot my briefcase in the cab and cost my company millions of dollars. They fired me and I owe them their millions. When I got back from work, I found my wife in bed with my best friend. After all that I decided to end my life with a glass of poison, and you didn't even let me do that!'
Two attorneys went into a diner
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.
A mohel collected all the foreskins in a jar, for the duration of his thirty year career.
Upon his retirement, he brought them to a local leather shop and requested a custom piece.
"What should I make?" asked the leathersmith.
"Surprise me," said the mohel.
A week later he returned to find the result. A wallet.
"There were hundreds of foreskins there, and all you can produce is a wallet?"
"Wait, the best part.. if you rub it, it turns into a briefcase."
Miley Gets Classy
One day, Miley Cyrus had a business suit on and was carrying a briefcase.
When she walked outside, a man noticed what she was wearing.
"Wow, you're looking fancy. Where are you even going?" the man asked.
She responded "Twerk."
A doctor specializing in circumcision is about to retire...
Over the years he has kept all the foreskins and approaches a leather smith to see if he can make them into something.
A few weeks later the leather smith delivers a small wallet to the doctor, the doctor is confused saying "I gave you loads of foreskins and you only made this tiny wallet?"
The leather smith replies with "ah you see, if you rub it the right way it turns into a briefcase"
A Soviet archeology team is in Egypt on an expedition.
After some digging, they found a pyramid and a mummy inside it. Unfortunately, they can't determine who the mummy is. They get in touch with the NKVD who arrive a few hours later in the form of three hulking men carrying briefcases. The NKVD goons go inside the pyramid. After a few hours they come out.
"The mummy is Amenhotep XIII" says one of the NKVD goons.
"How did you find out?" asks one of the archeologists.
"He admitted it", replies the NKVD goon.
A Husband Told His Wife...
"I'm putting this briefcase full of money in the attic. When I die and go to Heaven, I'll take it up there with me."
Well the day comes when he dies and a few months later the wife goes to the attic and finds the briefcase still where he left it before he died.
"I knew I should have put it in the basement..."
Husband goes home drunk
To avoid trouble, he takes out his laptop and pretends to be busy.
His wife went close to him and asked, "You are drunk again, right"
Husband: No!
Wife: Then why are you typing on your briefcase?
The bellboy
The vacationer paid his hotel bill then yelled to the bellboy, "Please-hurry! Run up to room 1026 and see if I left me briefcase and overcoat. Hurry-please! I've got just six minutes to make my plane!" Four minutes later, the bellboy came back, terribly out of breath. "Yes sir," he reported. "They're up there!"
The president of America, the president of Russia, and the Queen of England are playing cards.
Elizabeth the Second lays a full house and sips daintily upon a cup of tea. A Russian agent puts a finger to his ear momentarily and approaches the table with a sleek briefcase, which Putin opens to reveal a marvelous hand. Donald then smiles and shows five trump cards.
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear.
The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
