Bridge Engineer Jokes
27 bridge engineer jokes and hilarious bridge engineer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bridge engineer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bridge Engineer Short Jokes
Short bridge engineer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bridge engineer humour may include short civil engineer jokes also.
- Anyone can build a bridge that stands, but you need an Engineer if... ... you want one that just barely stands.
- Structural Integrity. What did the bridge engineer say when someone doubted his bridge's structural integrity?
"You're gonna have to truss me on this one." - An existentialist and an engineer come to a bridge the engineer says lets cross it the existentialist says exactly.
- My brother works as a part time civil engineer and part time relationship therapist He's an expert at building bridges
- A boss is about to fire his engineer after a bridge collapses. But after seeing the engineer weeping, tells him "oh cry me a river, just build a new one and get over it."
- It was very difficult to get my degree in civil engineering. But I built a bridge and got over it.
- I saw some people building a new bridge near me. Every lunch break they would sit down for afternoon tea complete with tablecloth and napkins. It was very civil engineering.
- Tension at work Local engineer was fired after building a road over a creak further up stream then planned. Dispite his long years of service, it was a bridge too far.
- [joke request] Civil engineering jokes, (Bridges, sewers, roads, engineers in general) What is the best joke you have related to Civil Engineering.
- How do you build a bridge which all the best structural engineers do not believe can hold the weight of traffic? You use the suspension of disbelief.
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Bridge Engineer One Liners
Which bridge engineer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bridge engineer? I can suggest the ones about bridge building and engineer.
- What did the engineer say to the bridge after it had collapsed? I trussed you.
- Everyone hated the egotistical civil engineer. He got too big for his bridges.
- Why didn't the engineer cross his own bridge? Because he didn't truss it.
- What do you call a polite man who builds bridges? A civil engineer
Bridge Engineer Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bridge engineer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean structural engineer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bridge engineer pranks.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.
\- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks
\- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently
The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:
\- Guess I'm swimming then...
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "There is a 99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
A Boy came home from Sunday School
His mother asked what he learned that day, the boy replied.
'They were teaching us about Moses. Moses had to take the Jews across the Red Sea, so he ordered his military engineers to build a bridge so they can cross the Red Sea, but the Egyptians came chasing after them , so moses ordered his demolition experts to bomb the bridge. All the Egyptians died there.'
'Is that what your teacher told you?' Asked his skeptical mother.
'No.' The boy admitted. 'But you will never believe the version she told us.'
A cop is pulling over a car, that was way too fast.
He approaches the car on the drivers side, while the driver is cranking down the window. Next to the driver sits a passenger. A curious "fog" emerges from the vehicle.
Cop: "Do you have any idea, why I pulled you over?"
Driver: "I don't have any idea."
Cop: "Seriously? Well you speeded with over 70 in a 30 zone."
The two guys in the car are seemingly astonished, then the one on the passenger side rips open the glove box and yells: "Bridge to Engineering! Less coal, we go way too fast!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... humor...
A visitor came to our boat and gestured to the handful of crew members holding tools and engaged in discussion.
"Oh yes," I replied, "it's a 'solution' of engineers."
The visitor then gestured to the crew on the bridge who were standing around the chart table engaged in a discussion.
"That? Well that's a 'clusterfuck' of captains."
As we were speaking the engineers walked onto the bridge and began chatting with the captains.
"Ok," the visitor replied, "so what is it when the engineers get mixed up with the captains?"
"Oh," I said, shaking my head. "That's almost always a 'fucked up solution'."
A man comes across a genie who grants him one wish.
The man says, I would really like a bridge from San Francisco to Hawaii.
The genie says, That would be really difficult, with all the construction, engineering, not to mention the money such a bridge would require. I'm sorry, but is there anything simpler you would want?
The man thinks it over and says, You know, I've never been good at understanding women. I can never understand what my wife is saying. It's almost like she's speaking in code. Is it possible that you could make me better at understanding women?
The genie says, You want that bridge to be four lanes or six lanes?
A man finds an old bottle. He starts rubbing off the dust...
... when a genie appears.
"You have one wish," says the genie.
"One wish? I thought it was three wishes," said the man.
"That's only in stories," replied the genie. "One wish is all you get."
"Well...", started the man, who was an American, "I've always wanted to go to Australia but I'm scared of flying. I wish for a bridge across the Pacific Ocean so I can drive there."
"I said wishes not miracles," replied the genie. "Do you have any idea how impossible that is? That would require the most complicated engineering design ever attempted. It would take all the world's resources for 100 years to build. Wish for something realistic."
"Ok," said the man, "I've never been able to understand women. I wish I could understand women."
"How many lanes would you like on your bridge?" said the genie.
A politician needs to hire a engineering company to build a bridge in his city. He's got offers from companies from three different companies:
A Chinese, an American and a Brazilian company.
The representative from the Chinese company says: "I'll do it for $3 million dollars. One million for the workforce, one for supplies and one for my profit. It's cheapest price you will ever find".
The representative from the American company says: "I'll do it for $6 million dollars. Two million for the workforce, two for supplies and two for my profit".
The Brazilian guy says: "I'll do it for $9 millon dollars".
The politician, very surprised, says: "What? Why is it so expensive?"
And the Brazilian answers: "3 million for me, 3 for you and 3 to have the Chinese guy build the bridge".