brides Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious brides puns

Four nuns about to take their vows..

Four novice nuns were about to take their vows.

Dressed in their white gowns, they entered the chapel for their symbolic marriage to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."

Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews came in and sat in the front row.

The Mother Superior said, "I am so honored you want to share this experience with us. May I ask why you came?"

"We're from the groom's family."

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Why do men want their brides to wear white?

Because they want the dishwasher to match with the fridge.

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So this amputee hadn't told his fiance about his condition yet...

and he kept putting it off. Finally, on their wedding night, in bed with the lights out, he screws up his courage.
"Honey, I have a confession to make."
"What is it, dear?"
Instead of answering, he simply takes his brides hand and puts it on the stump of his leg.
"Well!" she exclaims, "This is a surprise! But I'll get the vaseline and see what I can do."

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In a remote village

In a remote village they had an old tradition: the newly weds would participate in a competition where the brides would recognize their husbands from their penises exposed through a glory hole. Three newly weds get ready, but one guy is terribly embarrassed about the size of his penis. He confesses his secret to the minister, and the minister agrees to go in his place.

The competition starts. The first guy puts his dick through the glory hole and his wife recognizes his self inflicted scar. The second guy then puts his dick through the hole and his wife recognizes him from the curvature. Then, the minister puts his through the hole. All women in unison shout: It's the minister's dick!

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Why do Brides wear white?

To match the rest of the household appliances.

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Why do brides cry at their wedding?

Because they never marry the best man

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Why do brides smile so much at the wedding ?

No more blow jobs.

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Where can you bid on internet mail order brides?

eBae

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Why are brides so happy on their wedding days?

No more blowjobs.

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What's long and hard that Polish brides get on their wedding day?

A surname.

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Why are wedding in Wales so inexpensive?

The brides are already dressed in white.

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Did you know Jesus actually got married after he was resurrected and ascended into heaven?

His dad surprised him with an arranged marriage by having Marry Magdalene crucified as well. It was one of those *nail order brides*.

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Why are almost all brides dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the washing machine

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Why do brides wear white?

So that the dishwasher matches the refrigerator.

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The problem with mail-order brides...

is you still have to get her ad(dress).

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Why do Brides wear white?

To match the other kitchen appliances.

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Have you heard about Amazon's new matchmaking service?

Mail order brides come with two day shipping.

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Did you hear about Amazon's new matchmaking service?

Mail order brides come with two day shipping!

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What are the most funny Brides jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Brides? Well, here are the best Brides dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Brides pick up lines to share with friends.

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