bricks Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious bricks puns

Which is heavier, 200 pounds of brick, or 200 pounds of feather?

The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

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What's heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

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What's heavier, 200 pounds of bricks, or 200 pounds of feathers?

The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you've also got to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds

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Tits are like Lego bricks.

They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

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What are they going to use to build the wall?

The bricks that were shat by people when Trump became president.

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Which is heavier, 200 lbs of feathers, or 200 lbs of bricks?

The feathers, because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds

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I have a rare condition where I'm compelled to eat clay.

I've been shitting bricks all week.

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What do fat women and Bricks have in common?

They're both eventually laid by Mexicans

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Bricks have a frustrating sex life.

They're hard all the time, but only get laid once.

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What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

None, a green house is made out of glass.

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Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses

He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''

Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you cunt''

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What is heavier? 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers?

The feathers.

Bricks are just bricks. But if you carry 200 pounds of feathers you have carry the weight of what you've done to those poor birds.

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Two bricks of salt visit a meat factory...

And while they are looking down at one of the bone grinders, one of the salt brick accidentally falls down into the machine. The other salt brick watches in panic as his friend gets sucked into the blades and gears. After a while, the salt brick comes out from the other side of the grinding machine, all ground into pieces and powder.

"Oh my god! Are you okay Jimmy?" The salt brick on the top asks.

"Oh yeah I'm fine."

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What do fat girls and bricks have in common?

They both get laid by Mexicans.

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I'd be very scared if I swallowed a cup of cement

I'd be shittin' bricks

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What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool?

You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage.

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Friends are like bricks

it's kinda funny when you throw them through a window

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It's an old joke, but I said it to my kids and their friends and they went hysterical

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left?
499.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge.
How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge.
The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it?
The deer: He is still in the fridge.
An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party
Mary dies at the edge of the swamp. How?

A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

Knock knock Who's there?



Not Mary

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There are 500 bricks on a plane...

- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?

499

- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge

- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge

- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?

Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.

- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?

The alligators are all at the birthday party.

- Sally dies anyways. Why?

She got hit in the head by a flying brick

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If there are 500 bricks on a plane and one falls off, how many are left?

499.

What are the 3 steps of putting an elephant into a fridge?
Open fridge, put elephant in fridge, close fridge

What are the 4 steps of putting a giraffe into a fridge?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.

The lion king is hosting a party. All but one of the guests show up. Who is missing?
The giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to go to the party, but she has to cross a crocodile-infested river to get there. She successfully swims across, how?
All the crocodiles are at the party.

Sally dies anyway, why?
She got hit in the head by a falling brick.

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100 bricks are on a plane and one fell off, how many bricks are left?

99

How do you fit a giraffe in a fridge?

Open the fridge, take everything out, put the giraffe in and close the door

How do you get an elephant in a fridge?

Open the fridge, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door

The lions hosted a party and all the animals came, except for which one?

The elephant

A man swims across a man-eating crocodile infested river and survives, how?

The crocodiles are at the party

Then he dies. How?

The brick hit him

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Well, I know it's childish, but me and my girlfriend have just had a great time having a pillow fight and I won!

The secret is to stuff a few bricks in there..

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Falling Bricks

A man is starting his new job at a skyscraper construction site and he is a little nervous. He introduces himself to the other workers.
"H-H-Hello... M-My name is Peter." The Men grunt and continue working. When it's time for lunch, all the men sit on the edge of the building. the man walks over and sits next to them.
"W-What do you do around here for fun?" he asks. A rather large man turns around and says:
"Falling Brick."
"W-Well what's that?"
"Take a Brick and throw it off the edge. while it's falling yell falling brick. It's hilarious watching all the people below scatter."

The man reluctantly takes a brick from the pile. He tosses off the edge of the building.
"F-F-F-F..."

"F-F-F-F..."

"Fffffff..."

"F-F-Fucking got him."

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What's heavier 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers?

The feathers. because you have the weight of the feathers and you have to carry around the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

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There's been a local bloke called Carl going around breaking into people's houses for months...

The Police couldn't catch him. The weird thing is he was breaking into people's houses just to ruin their washing machines by putting bricks in them and turning them on!

Anyway, just heard that he was found dead in an alleyway because of a drug overdose... now it's never nice hearing of a death but on the bright side, washing machines live longer with Carl gone

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How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

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There is a boy that went to school after 3 weeks of absence...

The teacher asks him:
-Why didn't you come to school in your first week of absence?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandma and we had to burry her.
Teacher:But second week?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandpa and we had to burry him.
Teacher:And the last week?
Boy:A brick fell on my dad and we had to burry him.
Teacher:But what were you doing all this time??
Boy:I was on the roof of my house playing with bricks.

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What's heavier, 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers?

The feathers, because with the bricks you just carry 200 pounds, but with the feathers you've also got to carry the thought of what you did to those poor birds

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By far the scariest moment of my entire life is when I accidentially swallowed some Lego.

I was shitting bricks.

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Your mom reminds of bricks

She's constantly getting laid by Mexicans.

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I've been sneaking clay, sand and mortar into my housemate's food...

When they find out they'll shit bricks.

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So I was talking to a Scottish bar tender

So I was talking to a Scottish bar tender named Gregory and we started talking about nick names. He said "I built this bar by hand, I made the bricks and laid them down brick by brick. But do they call me Gregory the bar builder? No!" He points over to a stone wall across the street and says "you see that wall, I built that by hand. I carried each stone from a mile away and put them together. But do they call me Gregory the wall builder? No!" Next he points at a distant bridge and said "you see that bridge, I built that bridge by hand, all by myself. I cut down the trees and sanded it down all myself. But do they call me Gregory the bridge builder? No! But you fuck one goat."

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If there are 1000 bricks on a plane and one falls off, how many are on the plane?

999

How many steps does it take to put a alligator in a fridge?

3 steps:
1. Open fridge door
2. Put alligator in fridge
3. Close fridge door

How many steps does it take to put a giraffe in a fridge?

4 steps:
1. Open fridge door
2. Take alligator out of fridge
3. Put giraffe in fridge
4. Close fridge door

The Lion King is having a birthday party. The giraffe doesn't come. Why?

He's still stuck in the fridge

Sally is trying to cross an alligator-infested river, yet she managed to cross it unscathed. How?

All the alligators were still at the Lion King's birthday party

Sally died anyway. Why?

A brick fell on her head

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I've just been rushed to A&E after swallowing some lego....

The doctor's don't seem worried but i'm shitting bricks

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Between 200 pounds of bricks and 200 pounds of feathers, 200 pounds of feathers is heavier

200 pounds of bricks is just a bunch of bricks, but if you try to carry 200 pounds of feathers, you'll also have to carry the weight of what you did to those birds

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What are the most funny Bricks jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Bricks? Well, here are the best Bricks dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Bricks pick up lines to share with friends.

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