The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
The bricks that were shat by people when Trump became president.
They're both eventually laid by Mexicans
They're hard all the time, but only get laid once.
Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.
My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!
If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?
None, a green house is made out of glass.
He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''
Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you cunt''
And while they are looking down at one of the bone grinders, one of the salt brick accidentally falls down into the machine. The other salt brick watches in panic as his friend gets sucked into the blades and gears. After a while, the salt brick comes out from the other side of the grinding machine, all ground into pieces and powder.
"Oh my god! Are you okay Jimmy?" The salt brick on the top asks.
"Oh yeah I'm fine."
They both get laid by Mexicans.
I'd be shittin' bricks
You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage.
it's kinda funny when you throw them through a window
A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left?
499.
How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge.
How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge.
The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it?
The deer: He is still in the fridge.
An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party
Mary dies at the edge of the swamp. How?
A brick falls from the sky and kills her.
Knock knock Who's there?
Not Mary
- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
499
- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge
- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge
- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?
Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.
- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
The alligators are all at the birthday party.
- Sally dies anyways. Why?
She got hit in the head by a flying brick
499.
What are the 3 steps of putting an elephant into a fridge?
Open fridge, put elephant in fridge, close fridge
What are the 4 steps of putting a giraffe into a fridge?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.
The lion king is hosting a party. All but one of the guests show up. Who is missing?
The giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to go to the party, but she has to cross a crocodile-infested river to get there. She successfully swims across, how?
All the crocodiles are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, why?
She got hit in the head by a falling brick.
99
How do you fit a giraffe in a fridge?
Open the fridge, take everything out, put the giraffe in and close the door
How do you get an elephant in a fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door
The lions hosted a party and all the animals came, except for which one?
The elephant
A man swims across a man-eating crocodile infested river and survives, how?
The crocodiles are at the party
Then he dies. How?
The brick hit him
The secret is to stuff a few bricks in there..
A man is starting his new job at a skyscraper construction site and he is a little nervous. He introduces himself to the other workers.
"H-H-Hello... M-My name is Peter." The Men grunt and continue working. When it's time for lunch, all the men sit on the edge of the building. the man walks over and sits next to them.
"W-What do you do around here for fun?" he asks. A rather large man turns around and says:
"Falling Brick."
"W-Well what's that?"
"Take a Brick and throw it off the edge. while it's falling yell falling brick. It's hilarious watching all the people below scatter."
The man reluctantly takes a brick from the pile. He tosses off the edge of the building.
"F-F-F-F..."
"F-F-F-F..."
"Fffffff..."
"F-F-Fucking got him."
The Police couldn't catch him. The weird thing is he was breaking into people's houses just to ruin their washing machines by putting bricks in them and turning them on!
Anyway, just heard that he was found dead in an alleyway because of a drug overdose... now it's never nice hearing of a death but on the bright side, washing machines live longer with Carl gone
Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.
The teacher asks him:
-Why didn't you come to school in your first week of absence?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandma and we had to burry her.
Teacher:But second week?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandpa and we had to burry him.
Teacher:And the last week?
Boy:A brick fell on my dad and we had to burry him.
Teacher:But what were you doing all this time??
Boy:I was on the roof of my house playing with bricks.
She's constantly getting laid by Mexicans.
999
How many steps does it take to put a alligator in a fridge?
3 steps:
1. Open fridge door
2. Put alligator in fridge
3. Close fridge door
How many steps does it take to put a giraffe in a fridge?
4 steps:
1. Open fridge door
2. Take alligator out of fridge
3. Put giraffe in fridge
4. Close fridge door
The Lion King is having a birthday party. The giraffe doesn't come. Why?
He's still stuck in the fridge
Sally is trying to cross an alligator-infested river, yet she managed to cross it unscathed. How?
All the alligators were still at the Lion King's birthday party
Sally died anyway. Why?
A brick fell on her head
They both probably gonna get laid by some Mexican
A. 499
Q. What are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. Open Door, put elephant in refrigerator, close door
Q. What are four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. Open door, take elephant out of refrigerator, put giraffe in refrigerator, close door
Q. The lion throws a huge birthday party. All the animals but one go. Which is it and why?
A. The giraffe: he's still in the refrigerator
Q. Sally swims across an alligator infested river and doesn't get eaten. How?
A. The alligators are at the lion's birthday party
Q. Sally is found dead within the next 5 minutes: why?
A. She was hit by a brick falling from the sky
an airplane is shipping a large amount of bricks, when suddenly the pilot yells over the intercom "the plane is going down we need to lower the weight" what do you do?
*throw out one brick*
how do you fit an elephant in a freezer?
*open the door, let him in, shut the door.*
how do you fit a giraffe in a freezer?
*open the door, take out the elephant, let the giraffe in, shut the door.*
the king of the jungle is holding a party and all the animals show up except one, who is it?
*the giraffe*
a woman is trying to cross a deadly river filled with deadly crocodiles, but survives. how?
*all the crocodiles are at the party.*
but then she suddenly dies. why?
*she got hit by the brick......*
Sooner or later they will get laid by a Mexican
These days everyone wants instant stratification.
"499"
There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge.
There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they?
Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge.
The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that?
The deer is in the fridge.
A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it?
She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party.
She dies anyways. Why?
She gets hit in the head with a brick.
Constantly getting laid by Mexicans.
At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican.
What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bricks ?
Only one can be emptied with a pitchfork.
Glass
A legosaurus!
Randomly made up this the other night, thought I'd share.
What's a matter baby?
Nothing, I'm fine sweetie. How are you?
The answer is feathers.
200 pounds of bricks is just a bunch of bricks, but if you try to carry 200 pounds of feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
Glass
Chances are they were laid by a Mexican
503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
_502._
How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
_Open door, put elephant in, close door._
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
_Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door._
The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
_The giraffe. He's in a fridge._
Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
_The gators are at the party._
Sally dies anyway. Why?
_She got hit in the head by a flying brick._
---
**
The feathers of course.
200kg bricks it's just some measure of bricks. But, if you want to lift 200kg feathers you need also handle what you've done to all these poor birds.
He'd really be stoked if he was a fireplace.
The 10 pounds of feathers is heavier. Because you have to carry the burden of what you did to those poor birds.
You monster!
The tonne of feathers, because not only do you carry the feathers, you have to carry the burden of what you did to those poor birds.
Justice has been served!
There's been some scumbag called Carl going round breaking in to people's houses near me for months, but the police can't catch him. The weirdest thing about it all, is he was breaking into people's houses and ruining their washing machines by putting bricks in to them & turning them on while helping himself to whatever he wanted!!!!! Really weird if you ask me... Anyway, just read that he was found dead in an alley coz of a drug overdose.. It's never nice hearing of someones death, but on the bright side, washing machines live longer with Carl gone.
They are being put at the side of their beds to remind the old folks to put their shoes on when they get up...
Health and safety came down on me like a tonne of bricks.
you just need to make sure your thumbs aren't between the bricks when you slam them together.
**Q: What is the difference between me and a brick?**
A: Bricks get laid
Dead kittens. Can't get a pitchfork into the bricks.
Biodegradable Bricks
he started shifting bricks
Me: "*Lay it on me Doc*"
Dr: "*I'll put this as lightly as I can, You have a mild blunt-force-trauma allergy*"
Me: "*Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks!*"
Dr: "*Don't let this hold you down...*"
Me: "*I's it congenital - because if it is, my kids'll be crushed*"
Three men were in a contest to find out which of them is the most hardheaded.
The first man is called to the stage and sees a jackhammer. He proceeds to use the jackhammer on his head, miraculously ending up unharmed. The audience is silenced and so are the other two men.
The second man, not wanting to be beaten, prepared a stack of bricks and told everyone he was going to smash the bricks with his head. Surprisingly enough, he was able to do it and leave the bricks into bits and pieces, while staying safe and uninjured.
The last man, who apparently didn't know what to do to beat his competitors, was called next into the stage. Still unsure with what he was gonna do, he refused to enter. They called him again, but still to no avail.
Everyone fell silent and the third man was proclaimed as the winner.
The other two competitors complained because he did nothing.
"WELL, he is the MOST HARDHEADED"
We have collected gags and puns about Bricks to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Bricks? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Bricks pick up lines to share with friends.