The Best 59 Bricks Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bricks jokes. There are some bricks cement jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bricks nests puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bricks Jokes and Puns

What do fat girls and bricks have in common?

They both get laid by Mexicans.

Dead babies

What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bricks ?

Only one can be emptied with a pitchfork.

What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool?

You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage.

Bricks joke, What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool?

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

Friends are like bricks

it's kinda funny when you throw them through a window


I forgot my hard hat when I went to the building site...

Health and safety came down on me like a tonne of bricks.

Worst Business Idea Ever

Biodegradable Bricks

Bricks joke, Worst Business Idea Ever

here is a self depreciating joke.

**Q: What is the difference between me and a brick?**
A: Bricks get laid

There are 500 bricks on a plane...

- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?

499

- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge

- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge

- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?

Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.

- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?

The alligators are all at the birthday party.

- Sally dies anyways. Why?

She got hit in the head by a flying brick

What weighs more a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?

The answer is feathers.

200 pounds of bricks is just a bunch of bricks, but if you try to carry 200 pounds of feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

Your mom reminds of bricks

She's constantly getting laid by Mexicans.

You can explore bricks brick reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bricks masonry dad jokes. There are also bricks puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a dinosaur made of plastic bricks?

A legosaurus!

Randomly made up this the other night, thought I'd share.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge joke

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left?
499.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge.
How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge.
The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it?
The deer: He is still in the fridge.
An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party
Mary dies at the edge of the swamp. How?

A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

Knock knock Who's there?

Not Mary

Your mom is like a pile of bricks.

Constantly getting laid by Mexicans.

Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses

He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''

Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you cunt''

These days my boss has been getting on my nerves. See I'm a brick layer and he is always yelling to layer the bricks faster and faster...

These days everyone wants instant stratification.

Bricks joke, These days my boss has been getting on my nerves. See I'm a brick layer and he is always yelling to

What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

None, a green house is made out of glass.

What's heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

Which is faster to unload, a truckload of bricks or a truckload of dead kittens?

Dead kittens. Can't get a pitchfork into the bricks.


Why is it harder to load a truck full of bricks than it is to load it full of dead babies?

You can't use a pitch fork to load the bricks.

Castration doesn't hurt at all

you just need to make sure your thumbs aren't between the bricks when you slam them together.

Which weighs more, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of bricks?

The tonne of feathers, because not only do you carry the feathers, you have to carry the burden of what you did to those poor birds.

Did you hear about the Lego store Manager who was told his store would have to move?

he started shifting bricks

Two bricks of salt visit a meat factory...

And while they are looking down at one of the bone grinders, one of the salt brick accidentally falls down into the machine. The other salt brick watches in panic as his friend gets sucked into the blades and gears. After a while, the salt brick comes out from the other side of the grinding machine, all ground into pieces and powder.

"Oh my god! Are you okay Jimmy?" The salt brick on the top asks.

"Oh yeah I'm fine."

What do a load of bricks and a 300 lb woman have in common?

At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican.

What are they going to use to build the wall?

The bricks that were shat by people when Trump became president.

Which is heavier, 200 pounds of brick, or 200 pounds of feather?

The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

What do fat white girls and bricks have in common?

Chances are they were laid by a Mexican

I'd be very scared if I swallowed a cup of cement

I'd be shittin' bricks

My buddy told me he fantasizes about being made of bricks and having a chimney.

He'd really be stoked if he was a fireplace.

Well, I know it's childish, but me and my girlfriend have just had a great time having a pillow fight and I won!

The secret is to stuff a few bricks in there..

Recently I have began to make sculptures of random Grammatical symbols and letters out of bricks.

People say I'm quite the character builder

If there are 500 bricks on a plane and one falls off, how many are left?

499.

What are the 3 steps of putting an elephant into a fridge?
Open fridge, put elephant in fridge, close fridge

What are the 4 steps of putting a giraffe into a fridge?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.

The lion king is hosting a party. All but one of the guests show up. Who is missing?
The giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to go to the party, but she has to cross a crocodile-infested river to get there. She successfully swims across, how?
All the crocodiles are at the party.

Sally dies anyway, why?
She got hit in the head by a falling brick.

Did you know ...

... bricks are domesticated rocks..

If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Glass

Bricks have a frustrating sex life.

They're hard all the time, but only get laid once.

What's heavier 10 lbs of bricks or 10 pounds of feathers

The 10 pounds of feathers is heavier. Because you have to carry the burden of what you did to those poor birds.
You monster!

There's been a local bloke called Carl going around breaking into people's houses for months...

The Police couldn't catch him. The weird thing is he was breaking into people's houses just to ruin their washing machines by putting bricks in them and turning them on!

Anyway, just heard that he was found dead in an alleyway because of a drug overdose... now it's never nice hearing of a death but on the bright side, washing machines live longer with Carl gone

The red house is made of red bricks. The blue house is made of blue bricks. What is the greenhouse made of?

Glass

What do fat women and Bricks have in common?

They're both eventually laid by Mexicans

What does a pile of bricks and a fat chick have in common?

They both probably gonna get laid by some Mexican

It would help targets if all professional assassination's were handled by marcus smart.

All he hits is bricks.

There is a boy that went to school after 3 weeks of absence...

The teacher asks him:
-Why didn't you come to school in your first week of absence?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandma and we had to burry her.
Teacher:But second week?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandpa and we had to burry him.
Teacher:And the last week?
Boy:A brick fell on my dad and we had to burry him.
Teacher:But what were you doing all this time??
Boy:I was on the roof of my house playing with bricks.

What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bricks?

You can't use a fork to empty the bricks truck.

What's heavier? 200kg bricks or 200kg feathers?

The feathers of course.

200kg bricks it's just some measure of bricks. But, if you want to lift 200kg feathers you need also handle what you've done to all these poor birds.

If bricklayers can lay bricks...

Can Plumbers lay plumbs?

My neighbours love my 3am bagpipe practice

They even throw bricks through my window so they can hear it better

Would you rather eat 100 bricks or a matter baby?

What's a matter baby?
Nothing, I'm fine sweetie. How are you?

Doctor: "*I have some pressing news...*"

Me: "*Lay it on me Doc*"

Dr: "*I'll put this as lightly as I can, You have a mild blunt-force-trauma allergy*"

Me: "*Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks!*"

Dr: "*Don't let this hold you down...*"

Me: "*I's it congenital - because if it is, my kids'll be crushed*"

What do a pallet of bricks and a fat girl have in common?

Sooner or later they will get laid by a Mexican

Lego bricks are being used to help people with dementia and alzheimers...

They are being put at the side of their beds to remind the old folks to put their shoes on when they get up...

A friend told me "I can't wait to get out of Brooklyn, they took my rims, put the car on bricks"

I said "you moved to Brooklyn so you can get a brownstone, now you got 4"

What do you call stacks of free bricks left for rioters?

Free Masonry!

What is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

The feathers.

Because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

What's a red house made of?

Bricks.

What's a yellow house made of?

Yellow bricks.

What's a blue house made of?

Blue bricks.

What's a white house made of?

Lies.

This joke is translated from my language.

There was a kid named daisy who went to her parents and asked them a question.

Daisy: hey dad why am I named daisy?

Dad: because when you were first born a daisy fell on your little head.

So her brother who is named bricks went to the dad and said: wnaopa wabwkla woplrn

Little Johnny is walking out after church....

he stops and asks the preacher, "What are all these bricks in the side of the building with names engraved in them?"

The pastor replies, "Those bricks and names are all in remembrance of people who died in the service."

"Oh"' Johnny replies..... "was it the early or late service?"

I was pondering why people keep telling me that juggling bricks is a bad idea.

Then it hit me.

LEGO bricks are like boobs...

...They're designed for kids, but it's the grown-ups who have more fun with them. Oh, and it hurts when someone steps on them.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bricks mason jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bricks jenga piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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