The Best 53 Brian Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Brian jokes. There are some brian christine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these brian bad luck brian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Brian Jokes and Puns

We gave our children old-fashioned names...

Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley

Following the recent anti-Islam film made, there will be a film made to mock Jesus Christ.

It will be released in 1979 and will be called Life of Brian

What do you call it when you second guess your decision to book a stay at a Native American resort?

A reservation reservation reservation.

Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!

If someone...

If someone is having second thoughts about booking a trip in native American territory, you could say they are having a reservation reservation reservation.

...

Good thing self posts don't grant negative karma >.>

jokes about brian

As told by Brian Regan's offspring.

Child- "Why don't dinosaurs talk?"

Brian- "I don't know, buddy. Why don't dinosaurs talk?"

Child- "Because they're all dead."


Poor Brain...

It got to named itself, but was dyslexic, so Brian it was not.

RIP to my good friend Brian...

...eaten by a pack of dyslexic zombies :(

Brian joke, RIP to my good friend Brian...

Woah! Brian Williams' fly is wide open!

Newsflash.

Joke from a 5 year old

kid: how come dinosaurs don't talk?

me: ...why?

kid: because they are all dead.

source: stolen from Brian Reagan's standup.

My dad's better than your dad...

Three kids are in an agruement about who's dad is better.

"My dad's a fireman" said Billy.

"My dad's a marine!" said Johnny.

"My dad's invisible." said Brian.

I want to start a coffee shop that only plays ambient/electronic music...

and call it Brian Beano.

You can explore brian benjamin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean brian kevin dad jokes. There are also brian puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My Brian Williams's helicopter jokes have been going great!

None have been shot down so far!

My wife and I rented Black Hawk Down last night.

Or, as Brian Williams likes to call it, the Brian Williams Story.

Brian Williams and Bill O'Reilly walk into a bar

Or do they?

Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames

and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner

What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american community?

That's a reservation reservation reservation.

(Credit to Brian Regan)

Brian joke, What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american comm

If you were to second guess your decision to stay at a hotel on a native american reserve...

....that would be a reservation reservation reservation

-credit to Brian Regan

Losing game pieces sucks...

Especially when it's hide and seek...

I'll never forget you, Brian..

At an AC/DC concert...

Brian Johnson: You guys ready to rock?
Crowd: YESSSSSS
Brian Johnson: I can't hear you!


My buddy Brian had a kid a few years ago. He comes to me this summer and he goes...

"Man, my son just flunked the third grade. I don't know how to tell him he will be held back a year."

I was like, "I guess you better tell him slowly so that he will get it."

my wife got mad at me after picking out baby names...

she like it for the first week then it clicked for her... i said Peter Brian Johnson for a baby boy and Veronica Jessica Johnson for a baby girl...

You know Brian De Palma's The Untouchables (1987)

It didn't do well in India.

My mate told me yesterday that he's started dating twins!

I asked how he could tell which one is which.

He said, 'Well, Andrea is really, really attractive - she has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and plump red lips. Plus she's got a really nice body. Pretty much a perfect ten.

And Brian has a cock.'

I told my girlfriend I was named after Thomas Jefferson.

She said, "Your name is Brian."

I said, "Right. But I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson."

An Irish gay wedding

Brian Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzbrian

She Left Him

A man's wife left him because he couldn't stop counting.
She's not sure what he's up to now.

(Credit to Brian & Ron Boychuck)

Brian joke, She Left Him

Counting with Fingers

TEACHER: Brian, what's one plus one?

(The kid holds up his fingers and counts two.)

BRIAN: Two

TEACHER: Good job, what's three plus three?

(The kid holds up his fingers and counts six.)

BRIAN: Six

TEACHER: Good job, now put your hands in your pocket and tell me what's five plus five?

(The kid put his hands in his pocket and starts counting in his head and tells the teacher.)

BRIAN: Eleven.

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson…

He said, But dad, your name is Brian.

I said, I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.

People keep telling me that concussions are really bad for my health.

I can safely say that after three years of playing high school football, my Brian is working just fine!


A newly wed couple on their honeymoon night are in the bedroom getting undressed

A newly wed couple on their honeymoon night are in the bedroom getting undressed when she says.
"Darling, now that we are married, I have a little confession to make, I was a hooker before we met, are you OK with that"
He replies "Of course I am darling, we hadn't met then and to be honest it turns me on,so tell me more
She says "Well, my name used to be Brian and I played for St. Helens"

CEO Brian Krzanich sold his stock, and it might be considered insider trading...

You could say he had certain Intel about the situation.

This could turn into a total Meltdown.

Butting in

Me: So Tom what do you think your biggest flaw is?

Brian: Probably butting into other people's conversations

Mom, how come I still didn't get my period? I mean I'm already 19 and....

"Mom, how come I still didn't get my period? I mean I'm already 19 and Janet got hers when she was just 13!"

"Listen to me, Brian, you're NOT getting a period ever!"

"Mom, how come I'm 21 and didn't have my period yet while Ginny got hers at 13?"

"I'm gonna smash your face if you ask me that again. You're not getting a period, EVER, Brian!"


Dyslexic Zombies

Really like guys named Brian.

Why are Asians hungry when they watch Family Guy?

Because they imagine Brian in a sandwich.

Why did Brian Christopher Lawler get thrown out of the hardware store?

He kicked the bucket.

Why did Brian Cox's telescope break when he looked at Saturn?

...because he didn't Titan his lens enough.

Can the queen play the guitar?

No but Brian May

Have my buddy, Brian, a glue stick instead of chapstick...

...he has stopped talking to me

Brian May reminds looks a lot like Sir Isaac Newton..

..except that a guitar fell on his head.

Brian May tried to get Freddie Mercury interested in space

But he was only interested in Uranus

I just proposed to my best friend of 25 years

My wife got a bit angry, and Brian also seemed a bit confused

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?"

I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

My kid just asked "can I please have a book mark?"

11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian

Today my son asked, "Can you lend me a book mark?"

I immediately burst into tears.

12 years old and he doesn't know my name is Brian.

I've been cheating on my girlfriend with her twin, but it's OK because I can tell them apart.

Brian has a moustache.

A Proctology exam.

A man is sitting over the counter with his pants down at the doctors office.

The doctor comes in and sits down and starts working the gloves onto his hands.

Alright Brian, it's your first proctology exam, just sit back, relax, and try not to get an erection the doctor says.

The patient awkwardly looks back and says but my names Dan.

Doctor responds oh I know, my names Brian.

Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?

Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.

You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Rockin World go round.'

Why did Britain change its name to Brian?

Because those dang colonists got rid of their tea.

Went to my first fight club last night

I got there a bit late so I missed the orientation but wow it was amazing. If anyone wants more information, let me know!

\- credit to my friend Brian who popped this one off last night. He's not a very original sort so I'm sure he stole it from somewhere.

What did the dyslexic zombie say?

Brian.... Brian.... Brian.....

My friend Brian is having a rough time of it this Halloween.

He was attacked by dyslexic zombies.

Happy spooky day!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the brian brian regan puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working brian jolie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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