The Best 89 Brexit Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Brexit jokes. There are some brexit brussels jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these brexit election puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Brexit Jokes and Puns
The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.
No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.
How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.
How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only two: One to promise a new bulb before Christmas and another one to screw it up.
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British archaeologists have issued an exciting new Brexit update today.
By digging 96 feet below the Westminster.
I regret falling in love with my British girlfriend.
You give your heart to her and she Brexit into a million parts.
Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict :
Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium
What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit?
When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"
Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario:
Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely.
Led Zeppelin predicted the Brexit!
Baby I'm gonna Leave EU
Leave EU when the summer comes
Leave EU when the summer comes a-rolling.
They said Brexit would let us get closer to non-EU countries.
They were right, we now have more in common with Zimbabwe than ever before.
Brexit fallout: my French Toast has just surrendered to my English Muffins. Germany is sending in the Luftwaffle... these events could engulf the entire continental breakfast.
and my Irish coffee is drunk. Again.
You can explore brexit votes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean brexit europe dad jokes. There are also brexit puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
With the brexit news, they say the pound is failing.
They're calling it the ounce, now.
What happens when a British guy makes a promise?
He Brexit
One could say that Brexit has been ...
... quite secessful.
In a way, I'm happy that Brexit happened.
Now I don't need to correct people when they refer to the UK as England.
Now that Brexit is over
we can expect
1. Nexit
2. Frexit
3. Grexit
4. Departugal
5. Italeave
6. Czechout
7. Outstria
8. Finish
9. Slovakout
10. Latervia
11. Byegium
12. Polend
Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?
They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.
Hey there's this new diet that can help lose pounds fast!
Its called the Brexit
I'm a Polish student in the UK
Today the cashier in ASDA asked me if I needed help packing my bags. The Brexit is worse than I thought...
Every single time I give my heart to a girl...
She Brexit.
Brexit
There is a new slimming product in town.
It is called Brexit. It'll help you lose a lot of pounds.
Best exercise to lose a few pounds...
So my friend who is a fitness instructor just came up with a new exercise to lose pounds in just a matter of days. He calls it the "Brexit".
Brexit must have impacted Game of Thrones' budget really badly… (spoilers)
I heard yesterday they fired half of the cast.
What's the most important meal of the day to help you lose pounds?
Brexit
Why did Boris Johnson Brexit?
Because just imagine the baby he'd have made if he hadn't pulled out of Angela Merkel!
I'm going to go on a Brexit diet
The pounds will drop fast.
Apparently the Brexit is inspiring other countries to hold their own referenda, and could lead to the breakup of the EU.
Could this be The Final Countdown for Europe?
What comes after Brexit ?
BREICH
If I had a nickel for everytime Brexit happened...
I'd have £2.
I honestly prefer Brexit over being bullied in school day after day
Atleast I'd get pounded less
What is all this #Brexit going around?
When did Bromine decide to leave the periodic table?
Looks like the UK didn't read the fine print when cutting off ties with the EU...
You Brexit, you bought it.
My dad, contemplating Brexit and the board game Risk,
"Well, Europe has always been hard to hold."
What happens when Nigel Farage makes a promise?
He brexit.
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German walk into a bar...
... and they all order a drink. The barman pours a glass of beer each for the Frenchman and the German, put provides a plastic cup of beer for the Englishman.
The other two ask him, "Why do we have glasses, and he has a plastic cup?"
The barman replies, "Because he Brexit."
I asked a pharmacist "do you stock multicoloured tampons?"
"Not since Brexit, they were made for brighter periods."
What do you call the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?
a Brexit
While everyone was busy talking about Brexit
nobody anticipated the Mexit to come.
GB: Brexit was the dumbest thing in the last years!
USA: hold my drink!
With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say
Make America Great Britain again!
United Kingdom: Brexit is the stupid most self destructive act a country could take.
USA : lol, hold my beer
UK and USA are in a contest to destroy themselves.
The UK edged ahead with Brexit, but the US just played their trump card.
Have you heard about the Brexit Christmas dinner?
It doesn't have Brussels
Brexit, for France
AdiEU
Arsene Wenger to be named new Brexit Minister.
Since he led Arsenal to another quick European exit.
Just bought one of these new Brexit calculators..
..nothing seems to add up, it just takes away and does division
Whats the french version of Brexit?
adiEU
UK vs USA
The UK and the US are having a battle to see who can ruin their country the fastest.
We were winning with Brexit but the US had a Trump card.
However Thereisa chance we May yet still win.
If Britain has Brexit...
Did the Czech Republic check-out?
I dont want to denigrate any brexiters for voting brexit...
And to any brexiters, denigrate means to put down.
Why did the UK have to get a new Prime Minister after Brexit?
Because David Cameron wouldn't do it, but Theresa May.
Jose Mourinho has been brought in to help Theresa May with Brexit negotiations.
He made leaving Europe look so easy.
what do Brexit and facebook have in common?
Both seem to have been caught up in a fishing scam
The E.U has said that Scotland could end up as a Third World country after Brexit.
I don't know if things will improve to that extent, but you never know.
When Brexit happens, how much space will the EU lose?
Exactly 1GB
Finally the English did it, without the meddling of the politicians
BREXIT.
My approach to sex is like the government's approach to Brexit
I go in hard and pull out when I realise I have no clue what I'm doing
Q- Do you know how much weight would Great Britain lose if it went through with the Brexit?
A lot of pounds.
Brentry
In anticipation of Brexit many British politicians have unfriended their EU counterparts on Facebook.
I guess now they will have to referiend'em...
Brexit
stay, slamming the door.
How much space do you free after the Brexit?
1 GB
Brexit walks into a bar.
Barman: Why the long farce?
I heard that the Brexit may not make such a big mess after all
But Theresa May
The bright side of no deal Brexit
Is that we might get a new song from U2
Brits are pounding their fists at Brexit.
Whilst Brexit is really fisting the Pound.
What's the most British accident?
No-deal Brexit
Theresa May has asked to delay Brexit until June
It makes sense, June comes after the end of May.
What's the future tense of England?
Brexit.
In a speech two days ago, Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she plans to delay Brexit, in the hopes that the UK leaves with her deal on 22 May
May wants to leave at the end of May.
Do you wanna hear a brexit joke?
Actually.. yeah sorry I'll tell you in a few months.
What will happen to the EU's computers when Brexit happens ?
They'll have an additional 1 **GB** of free space.
Scroll down for some positive Brexit news!!
Scroll down for some positive Brexit news!!
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Keep going...
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What, you didn't seriously expect to see some did you?
I found this great new dieting plan that's sure to make you lose a lot of pounds
It's called Brexit
What do brexit and my dog have in common
They beg to be let out but just sit at the door when they finally are
What is the longest game of Deal or No Deal?
Brexit.
To keep both Leavers and Remainers happy , why don't we go for the only thing that will keep us IN and OUT of the EU.
Schrodinger's Brexit.
Theresa May's Brexit deal just lost for a third time in parliament.
Didn't she ever learn that no means no ?
Too soon? For me too.
I got a new cat yesterday and have decided to name it Brexit
He always meows loudly to be let out but when I open the door, he refuses to go through it.
A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...
"These bloody immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these bloody immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."
His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"
The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll tell you why. It's because they're not even trying to be British. That's why. They don't even TRY to be British. They come here, and bring their own bloody culture. They bring their own food, spit their own bloody languages, try to take over the whole bloody place."
His friend replies with "Well, that sounds British to me"
The year is 2077...
Brexit negotiations continue.
Nevada has counted 98% of the votes.
Cyberpunk has been delayed again.
Why don't fire stations have poles any more?
Brexit.
Everyone gets what they want out of brexit
The Brits get their blue passports and the average iq of the European Union goes up by 10 points.
How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
No Brussels!
How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.
I stole this from one of [elee0228](/u/elee0228) comments.
My girlfriend wants to have a baby…
and I don't, so we're going to compromise. We're having a baby but I get to name it. So I'm going to call it Brexit, because although only half of the people involved want it to happen, it's going to happen anyway.
They say fizzy drinks will soon disappear from the shelves in UK supermarkets thanks to Brexit.
The UK Government should do a trade deal with Mexico, I hear they're really good at getting coke across the border.
What's is the #1 question asked after Brexit?
UK?
What do you call a chicken in a dinghy full of tomato sauce, using carrots for oars, chasing a British Conservative fleeing Brexit?
Chicken Cacciatore
How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit?
Approximately 1 GB.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the brexit brexiters puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working brexit brexiteer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.
