brexit Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious brexit puns

How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?


One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.

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Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario:

Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely.

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The E.U has said that Scotland could end up as a Third World country after Brexit.

I don't know if things will improve to that extent, but you never know.

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Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict :

Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium

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Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

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The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.

No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.

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I'm going to go on a Brexit diet

The pounds will drop fast.

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What happens when a British guy makes a promise?

He Brexit

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When Brexit happens, how much space will the EU lose?

Exactly 1GB

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With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say

Make America Great Britain again!

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My approach to sex is like the government's approach to Brexit

I go in hard and pull out when I realise I have no clue what I'm doing

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GB: Brexit was the dumbest thing in the last years!

USA: hold my drink!

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What happens when Nigel Farage makes a promise?

He brexit.

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I regret falling in love with my British girlfriend.

You give your heart to her and she Brexit into a million parts.

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Brexit fallout: my French Toast has just surrendered to my English Muffins. Germany is sending in the Luftwaffle... these events could engulf the entire continental breakfast.

and my Irish coffee is drunk. Again.

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Hey there's this new diet that can help lose pounds fast!

Its called the Brexit

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If Britain has Brexit...

Did the Czech Republic check-out?

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They said Brexit would let us get closer to non-EU countries.

They were right, we now have more in common with Zimbabwe than ever before.

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Whats the french version of Brexit?

adiEU

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Best exercise to lose a few pounds...

So my friend who is a fitness instructor just came up with a new exercise to lose pounds in just a matter of days. He calls it the "Brexit".

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How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only two: One to promise a new bulb before Christmas and another one to screw it up.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German walk into a bar...

... and they all order a drink. The barman pours a glass of beer each for the Frenchman and the German, put provides a plastic cup of beer for the Englishman.

The other two ask him, "Why do we have glasses, and he has a plastic cup?"

The barman replies, "Because he Brexit."

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Looks like the UK didn't read the fine print when cutting off ties with the EU...

You Brexit, you bought it.

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Have you heard about the Brexit Christmas dinner?

It doesn't have Brussels

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One could say that Brexit has been ...

... quite secessful.

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My dad, contemplating Brexit and the board game Risk,

"Well, Europe has always been hard to hold."

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UK and USA are in a contest to destroy themselves.

The UK edged ahead with Brexit, but the US just played their trump card.

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(My piss poor attempt at political humor): What do you call a bunch of British politicians about to have a meal before resigning from their positions?

A full English Brexit

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Brexit

There is a new slimming product in town.

It is called Brexit. It'll help you lose a lot of pounds.

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With the brexit news, they say the pound is failing.

They're calling it the ounce, now.

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Now that Brexit is over

we can expect

1. Nexit
2. Frexit
3. Grexit
4. Departugal
5. Italeave
6. Czechout
7. Outstria
8. Finish
9. Slovakout
10. Latervia
11. Byegium
12. Polend

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Just bought one of these new Brexit calculators..

..nothing seems to add up, it just takes away and does division

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what do Brexit and facebook have in common?

Both seem to have been caught up in a fishing scam

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Brexit, for France

AdiEU

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What is all this #Brexit going around?

When did Bromine decide to leave the periodic table?

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