Brewery Jokes
38 brewery jokes and hilarious brewery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brewery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From funny puns to lighthearted quips, find out what happens when you take a tour of the local brewery. Discover why a craft brewery and their vats of beer can be the source of some lighthearted jokes! Explore how seemingly-mundane elements of production like sewage can become the source of comedy. Laugh out loud with these humorous pilsner-inspired jokes.
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Funniest Brewery Short Jokes
Short brewery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brewery humour may include short beer brewed jokes also.
- Two Chinese guys rob a brewery. The one asks the other, "Is this whiskey?" The other man replies, "Not as whiskey as whobbing a bank."
- Hello? I am calling to tell you I love you! "Sir, I am sorry but I think you got the wrong number. This is a brewery!"
"I Know!" - What does a brewery and a Nickelback concert have in common? They are both responsible for a lot of boos.
- Darling, I just called to tell you how awesome you are. You really are the love of my life…
– Sir – I'm sorry, this is a brewery!
– Oh I know… - Anheuser Busch is using a Georgia brewery to can water for flood victims in Oklahoma and Texas They're labeling very clearly so people don't confuse it with Bud Light
- Robert died... He was working on the local brewery and fell inside the beer tank, drowning. It is believed he didn't suffer as footage shows him leaving the tank twice to take a leak.
- Just been told my uncle tragically died at the brewery. He fell into a vat and drowned. I don't think he suffered too much though, because he managed to get out twice to pee.
- I went to a brewery tour and the tour guide asked what horrible thing happened in the early 1900s Apparently women's suffrage wasn't the right answer.
- I went to the local craft brewery last night and it was so busy... The place was really hopping.
- What do you call a government official who overseas regulations on breweries? A Beer-aucrat
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Brewery One Liners
Which brewery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brewery? I can suggest the ones about beer brewer and distillery.
- I dated a one legged girl who worked at a brewery She was in charge of the hops
- Why did the bunny work in the brewery? he knew a lot about hops
- Jesus opened a brewery. Do you know what he called it?? HeBrew
- Why did the brewery keep rabbits on hand? So they could add the hops.
- I'm dating a one legged girl who works at a brewery. She handles the hops.
- I'm not an alcoholic, I'm cursed My house was built on an ancient indian brewerial ground
- What do modern day witches do? Own a Micro-brewery.
I'll see myself out... - Why wasn't the brewery's new beer a slam dunk? They didn't have enough hops.
- What do you call a jew who works at a brewery? A he brew.
Howlingly Hilarious Brewery Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about brewery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brewing beer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brewery pranks.
Beer is good.
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
Father, what causes arthritis?
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, ''Father, what causes arthritis?''
''Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man,'' the priest replied. ''Imagine that,'' the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'' ''I don't have arthritis, Father,'' the drunk said, ''but I just read in the paper that the Pope does.''
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me the truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three times to pee"
A man knocked on Mrs Smith's door.
"I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident at the brewery," he said.
"Your husband fell into a giant vat of beer and drowned."
Mrs Smith started crying. "Oh poor thing, he had no chance!"
"I don't know about that," the man replied. "He got out three times to use the toilet."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.
I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.
'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'
'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.
'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.
'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a p**...'.
A Instagram user walks into a bar...
A Instagram user walks into a #bar #pub #brewery #happyhour #bigplace #beer #night #party #fun #photography #conceptual #art #drink #peperoni #olives #lights #table #chair #followme
A man died in an accident when working at the brewery.
When the police arrived at his home to inform his wife, she asked how it happened. "Well, madam, I'm sorry to say he fell into one of the beer cauldrons and drowned," said the officer. In tears, the wife asked the officer, "Please, at least tell me it was a quick death". "Unfortunately not," the officer explains, "witnesses say he climbed out at least twice to go to the bathroom".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mrs Donnelly: m**...? You took me husband Donnie on da trip to Guinness brewery, and heres you are alone. Where's me Donnie?
m**...: Its terrible news, miss. Donnie were leanin over one of those great big vats of stout, fell in and drowned.
Mrs Donnelly (starting to tear up): Oh lord in heaven... m**...! At least tell me he died quick.
m**...: I can't miss. He got out to pee three times.
Happy Saint Paddies ta ya all!
My father died today at work...
he worked at the brewery and fell into a beer tank. All the co-workers rushed to help him and to get him out, but despite their best efforts my dad managed to fight them all back and then drowned.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sad drowning death at the Guinness brewery.
Poor Shaumus fell in a large, deep vat of beer.
It was a real pity too.
He was able to get out twice to p**..., but could not make it out the third time.
A woman is preparing dinner for her husband
While she was setting the table, a minister and the manager of the brewery the husband works at knock on the door.
When she opens the door the manager says, "We're extremely sorry, but this morning your husband fell into one of the vats of beer and drowned"
The woman explodes at the manager, "He died this morning and your telling me this now!?!?!?"
The manager replies, "Well, he got out a couple times to use the bathroom"
Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years...
One day, he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned.
The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but poor old Murphy passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned."
She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?"
"No, no, I don't think so," said the foreman. "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
A man working in a brewery dies after falling in a vat of beer
The manager and CEO go to the mans house in the evening and knock on the door.
The mans wife opens the door and seeing the sombre look on the two men's faces cautiously asks *"Whats wrong!?"*
*"We have some bad news your husband died in a terrible accident at work today"* replied the manager *"He fell into a vat of beer early this morning and drowned"*
The wife looks back into the house where the table is set for dinner and the mans return *"This morning?"* she asks angrily *"And you are only just telling me now!!?"*
*"Well"* the CEO starts *"He fell in this morning but it took him all day to drown - he kept getting out to use the bathroom..."*
Why are all male people who work,
Why are all male people who work in a brewery Jews?
Hebrew
