The Best 27 Brewed Coffee Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Brewed Coffee jokes. There are some brewed coffee jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these brewed coffee puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Brewed Coffee Jokes and Puns

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

I used Redbull instead of water to brew my coffee today

Got halfway to work, realized I forgot my car.

How much of sex is work?

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?" A Major chimed in with 25-75% in favor of work . A Captain said it was 50-50%. A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure , depending on how drunk he was at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the Private who was in charge of making the coffee. What was your opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why.
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning....

The wife claims, "You should do it, because you get up first and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband says, "You are in charge of cooking around here so you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

The wife replied, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should make the coffee."

The husband replied, "I can't believe that; show me!"

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........

"HEBREWS"

Husband asks Wife to make coffee

Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: Darling, why don't you brew us some coffee? Wife looks confused, But that's your task, honey. woman says What? Why? man asks. It's all over the Bible, dear. woman replies The Bible says nothing about who's supposed to be brewing coffee! man replies confused. The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews.

My coffee wasn't strong enough.

So, yesterday instead of using water, I brewed with Red Bull. I got halfway to work before I realised I'd forgotten my car.

Who makes cold brew coffee?

A Brrrrrista.

A Christian couple

Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: "Darling, why don't you brew us some coffee?"

Wife looks confused: "But that's your task, honey."

What? Why?

"It's all over the Bible, dearest."

"The Bible says nothing about who's supposed to be brewing coffee!"

The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: "See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews."

How does Moses makes coffee ?

He brews

When's the best month to make coffee?

Feb-Brew-ary!

I tried brewing my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.

I drank it and left my house to go to work. After 15 minutes I realized I forgot my car.

You can explore brewed coffee reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean brewed coffee dad jokes. There are also brewed coffee puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Did you know it's forbidden for women to make coffee? In the bible it says...

He-Brews

If Jesus wouldn't brew coffee...

... what would hebrew?

What religion is a coffee machine?

He-brew.

I brewed my coffee with Redbull today

I can smell noises

Why did the Jewish guy open up a coffee shop?

Cuz he brews!!

I decided to go to a coffee shop today

The barista behind the counter said that I should try a new but expensive brew of coffee. It was $9 but I decided to try it. I took a sip of the beverage, and almost instantly spat it out.

"Wha... This tastes like mud!" I shouted at the barista.

He turned and smiled. "It should. It was fresh ground this morning!"

I can't believe how much money I've spent fueling my drinking problem.

Time to start brewing coffee at home.

I cold brewed my coffee for the first time this morning.

It didn't come out so hot...

A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: "

How about you go brew us some coffee?"

Wife: "That's your job."

Hasband: "Says who?"

Wife : "The bible, it's on just about every page."

Husband: "The bible don't say anything about brewing coffee."

Wife (Holding her Bible flipping pages): "See every page Hebrews, Hebrews, hebrews."

How did the Jewish man shake up his morning routine?

He brew some coffee.

Q. How does Moses make coffee?
A. He brews it!

How does Noah make coffee?

He brews it...

I think they should engineer a coffee maker that tells you jokes as it's brewing.

I'm sure it would cause a brew-ha-ha.

How does a rabbi brew his coffee?

Hebrews it.

What do you call a funny type of coffee?

A brew ha-ha!

A judge ruled to take away Mr. Coffee's custody rights..

His lawyer asked, "on what grounds?"
The judge replied, "Child a-brews"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the brewed coffee puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working brewed coffee piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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