Brew Coffee Jokes

48 brew coffee jokes and hilarious brew coffee puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brew coffee that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Brew Coffee Short Jokes

Short brew coffee jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brew coffee humour may include short brewed coffee jokes also.

  1. I used Redbull instead of water to brew my coffee today Got halfway to work, realized I forgot my car.
  2. My coffee wasn't strong enough. So, yesterday instead of using water, I brewed with Red Bull. I got halfway to work before I realised I'd forgotten my car.
  3. I tried brewing my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. I drank it and left my house to go to work. After 15 minutes I realized I forgot my car.
  4. I can't believe how much money I've spent fueling my drinking problem. Time to start brewing coffee at home.
  5. I think they should engineer a coffee maker that tells you jokes as it's brewing. I'm sure it would cause a brew-ha-ha.
  6. How does a rabbi brew his coffee? Hebrews it.
  7. What do you call a funny type of coffee? A brew ha-ha!
  8. A judge ruled to take away Mr. Coffee's custody rights.. His lawyer asked, "on what grounds?"
    The judge replied, "Child a-brews"
  9. Why was the Jew so good at making coffee? Because he brew.
  10. Want to meet at Brew City after work? its a coffee shop you alcoholic

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Brew Coffee One Liners

Which brew coffee one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brew coffee? I can suggest the ones about hipster coffee and strong coffee.

  1. How does moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
  2. How does ChatGPT make coffee? It uses its neural networks to brew the perfect cup.
  3. Who makes cold brew coffee? A Brrrrrista.
  4. How does Moses makes coffee ? He brews
  5. When's the best month to make coffee? Feb-Brew-ary!
  6. Did you know it's forbidden for women to make coffee? In the bible it says... He-Brews
  7. Seeing all of these coffee jokes lately.. Im getting Deja Brew
  8. If Jesus wouldn't brew coffee... ... what would hebrew?
  9. What religion is a coffee machine? He-brew.
  10. I brewed my coffee with Redbull today I can smell noises
  11. Why did the Jewish guy open up a coffee shop? Cuz he brews!!
  12. I cold brewed my coffee for the first time this morning. It didn't come out so hot...
  13. How did the Jewish man shake up his morning routine? He brew some coffee.
  14. Q. How does Moses make coffee?
    A. He brews it!
  15. How does Noah make coffee? He brews it...

Uproarious Brew Coffee Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about brew coffee you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean coffee bible jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brew coffee pranks.

How much of s**... is work?

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of s**... was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?" A Major chimed in with 25-75% in favor of work . A Captain said it was 50-50%. A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure , depending on how drunk he was at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the Private who was in charge of making the coffee. What was your opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why.
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning....

The wife claims, "You should do it, because you get up first and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband says, "You are in charge of cooking around here so you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
The wife replied, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should make the coffee."
The husband replied, "I can't believe that; show me!"
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........

Husband asks Wife to make coffee

Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: Darling, why don't you brew us some coffee? Wife looks confused, But that's your task, honey. woman says What? Why? man asks. It's all over the Bible, dear. woman replies The Bible says nothing about who's supposed to be brewing coffee! man replies confused. The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews.

A Christian couple

Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: "Darling, why don't you brew us some coffee?"

Wife looks confused: "But that's your task, honey."
What? Why?

"It's all over the Bible, dearest."

"The Bible says nothing about who's supposed to be brewing coffee!"

The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: "See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews."

I decided to go to a coffee shop today

The barista behind the counter said that I should try a new but expensive brew of coffee. It was $9 but I decided to try it. I took a sip of the beverage, and almost instantly spat it out.
"Wha... This tastes like mud!" I shouted at the barista.
He turned and smiled. "It should. It was fresh ground this morning!"

A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: "How about you go brew us some coffee?"
Wife: "That's your job."
Hasband: "Says who?"
Wife : "The bible, it's on just about every page."
Husband: "The bible don't say anything about brewing coffee."
Wife (Holding her Bible flipping pages): "See every page Hebrews, Hebrews, hebrews."

A man and a woman had been arguing over who should make the coffee.

This discussion went on for quite some time, with both parties refuse to budge.
The woman then says "I don't have to make the coffee because the bible says so."
To which the man responds " yeah ok, there is nothing in the bible about coffee!"
The woman, flustered, gets up from her seat and leaves the room.
She returns moments later with an open bible, sifting through the pages.
The man rolls his eyes.
"Here it is!" The woman exclaims, " a whole section about it! Right at the top of the page! It says, 'He brews'"

This man has a pain in his eye every morning...

He has a daily morning routine, he wakes up, washes his face, brews his coffee, he mixes it with a spoon, and drinks it. For some reason he always has a pain in his eyes.
So one day he goes to the doctor after becoming fed up of the pain. The doctor first asks him about his diet, and the man replies that he's been eating healthy. The doctor asks him about his routine, so he gives the man some props to recreate it. So the man proceeds to wash his face, brew his coffee, mix it with a spoon, and drink it.
The doctor sighs and asks, Have you ever taken out the spoon before you drink your coffee?