Breeding Jokes
50 breeding jokes and hilarious breeding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about breeding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn how to share your best breeding jokes with your friends! This article provides clever jokes about the different types of breeders and the animals they breed, such as dogs, horses, donkeys, and cattle. Be sly and crafty with your jokes, and have a good laugh with your friends.
Quick Jump To
- Short Breeding Jokes
- Breeding One Liners
- Dog Breeding Jokes
- Horse Breeding Jokes
- Breeding Rabbits Jokes
- More Breeding Jokes
Funniest Breeding Short Jokes
Short breeding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The breeding humour may include short mating jokes also.
- Give a man an egg and he'll eat for a day Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you're taking science too far.
- List if 10 worst dog breeds 1. There
2. Are
3. No
4. Bad
5. Dog
6. Breeds
7. Only
8. Bad
9. Owners
10. Chihuahuas - The population of the countryside were almost wiped out entirely by a rare breed of ticks that live and breed inside the mouths of Alpacas. The survivors now live in a post Alpaca lip tick wasteland.
- It's always weird to come across an anti-vaxxer nowadays... ...they seem to be a dying breed
- The man who cross breeds labradors and poodles will be adequate for the job at hand. The labradoodle dude'll do.
- What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino? A visit from the university board of ethics.
- What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it.
- What are the two biggest fears of Russian military? That the Chinese learn how to fight like the Finns, or that the Finns learn how to breed like the Chinese.
- I saw a man dragging a loaf of bread along the floor so I asked him: 'What breed is it?' He replied: 'It's pure bread.'
- I want to open a Reserve to breed, arm and train West Lowland Gorillas to fight Jihadists. I'm going to call it Boko Harambe
Share These Breeding Jokes With Friends
Breeding One Liners
Which breeding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with breeding? I can suggest the ones about reproduction and breed dog.
- TIL there is a rooster that lays eggs. The breed is Himalayan.
- They say revolution breeds revolution. Resistance is fertile.
- What breed of roosters lay eggs Himalayan.
- I've been breeding racing deer Just trying to make a quick buck
- What breed of horses are nocturnal? Nightmares.
- What dog breed always arrives in 2nd place? Silver retrievers.
- What happens when you try and breed a cow with an octopus? You lose your funding.
- What would you get if you cross breed a Borg with a Ferengi? A scientologist.
- Did you know that it is wrong to breed eels with eagles? It's because it is eel-eagle.
- It's so nice to meet so many anti-vaxers here It feels like we're a dying breed
- I inherited my uncle's deer breeding business worth 50 million bucks That's a lot of doe
- What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings? Any dog, because buildings can't jump.
- What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings? Any dog, buildings can't jump
- I had to stop breeding rabbits... I found it to be a hare raising experience.
- My hairdresser friend has started breeding dogs. He calls them shampoodles.
Dog Breeding Jokes
Here is a list of funny dog breeding jokes and even better dog breeding puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- [OC] I have a friend who breeds hound dogs and I'm trying to get into the business myself, but I don't know where to start. Maybe I should get some pointers from him
- The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog... He's the only one who feeds the hand that bites him
- Top 10 most aggressive dog breeds 10: You
9: can't
8: Rank
7: Dog breeds
6: Based on
5: Their aggressiveness
4: As every
3: Dog breed
2: Is different.
1: Chihuahuas - How many different dog breeds can jump higher than a skyscraper? All of them. Skyscrapers can't jump!
- Did you know that there's a breed of dog who loves science? You can tell which one it is because they're always wearing a lab coat.
- My friend told me her dogs breed was Havanese And i told her, of course your dog has knee's, how else would it be able to walk?
- What are scientists favorite breed of dogs? Labs.
- Apparently Jesus had a dog... It was a cross breed.
- Tell me about yourself 1: Well uhh.. I like dogs
2: Oh, what's your favourite breed?
1: Any breed is good, they all taste the same anyway - What breed of dog is magical? The Labra-Cadabrador
Horse Breeding Jokes
Here is a list of funny horse breeding jokes and even better horse breeding puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Earlier the Rich had cars and the poor had horses. Now the Poor have cars and the Rich breed horses Oh how the stables have turned
- I always have nightmares I found a breed of female horses that's up all night
- I breed some of the worlds best thoroughbred race horses They are absolutely outstanding in their field
- TIL there are some breeds of horses that can jump higher than a house. Well, of course, houses can't jump, sooo...
- How do you acquire a small version of Thor's hammer? Breed a horse with a donkey and you'll have a little mule near.
Breeding Rabbits Jokes
Here is a list of funny breeding rabbits jokes and even better breeding rabbits puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've never been through anything scarier than that time I tried to breed rabbits. It was a hare-raising experience.
- Making millions of dollars is like breeding rabbits. It's much easier when you start with two.
- What does riding a roller coaster have in common with breeding rabbits? They are both hare raising.
- I used to breed rabbits. Then I realized that they pretty much know what to do.
Charming Humor Breeding Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about breeding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bred jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make breeding pranks.
Exception to the rule
The First Sergeant noticed a new private one day and and barked at him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the First Sergeant asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The First Sergeant scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal p**... stuff they're teaching troops in Basic today, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my privates by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as 'First Sergeant.' Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, First Sergeant!"
"Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling, First Sergeant!"
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."
Farmer tries to breed pigs
A farmer bought some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet.
The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pigs are pregnant?"
"Easy. When they lie down and wallow in the mud." The farmer hung up and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination must mean that he has to impregnate those pigs himself.
So he loaded them onto his truck, drove them out into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and then went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs.
Since they were all still standing around, he concluded that his first attempt didn't take, so he loaded them into the truck again, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs. They are still just standing around.
"Once more," he told himself, and loaded them onto the truck, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed.
The next morning, he can't even lift himself off the bed. He asked his wife to see if the pigs are wallowing in the mud yet.
"Nope," she said. "They're all in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn!"
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender
"Give me two beers. Rough day at work."
And the bartender says, "Oh? what do you do?"
The guy says, "I take care of the Corgis - you know, the dogs that the royal family owns."
The bartender says, "Tough job, huh?"
The guy says, "Well, all that in-breeding has led to low intelligence
and bad temperament. And the dogs aren't that smart either."
