The Best 51 Breed Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Breed jokes. There are some breed hound jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these breed dog breed puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Breed Jokes and Puns

I saw a man dragging a loaf of bread along the floor so I asked him: 'What breed is it?'

He replied: 'It's pure bread.'

What would you get if you cross breed a Borg with a Ferengi?

A scientologist.

Farmer tries to breed pigs

A farmer bought some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet.

The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pigs are pregnant?"

"Easy. When they lie down and wallow in the mud." The farmer hung up and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination must mean that he has to impregnate those pigs himself.

So he loaded them onto his truck, drove them out into the woods, had sex with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and then went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs.

Since they were all still standing around, he concluded that his first attempt didn't take, so he loaded them into the truck again, drove them into the woods, had sex with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs. They are still just standing around.

"Once more," he told himself, and loaded them onto the truck, drove them into the woods, had sex with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed.

The next morning, he can't even lift himself off the bed. He asked his wife to see if the pigs are wallowing in the mud yet.

"Nope," she said. "They're all in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn!"

Breed joke, Farmer tries to breed pigs

What dog breed do Jewish pet owners desire most?

A Golden Retriever

A slightly translated Dutch joke

This is a Dutch joke where the dialog is spoken in English:

A Dutchman and an Englishman are sitting next to each other on an airplane. They start to make small talk and the Englishman asks the Dutchman what he does for a living.

The Dutchman proudly says "I fok horses!" (Fok == breed)

Shocked, the Englishman exclaims "Pardon?!?"

The Dutchman smiles and replies, "Yes! Paarden!" (Paarden == horses)


I wanted to open a place where people could drink and go dancing. A portion of all proceeds would be donated to a nature reserve where threatened species could breed and raise their offspring in peace. But I had to close it down.

I really thought Club Baby Seals was going to be a bigger hit.

What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino?

A visit from the university board of ethics.

Breed joke, What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino?

Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?

He didnt use the main stream

What's the smelliest breed of dog?

A poo-dle

Suicide bombers

They're a dying breed.

Sea World announced they're not going to breed Orcas in captivity anymore...

So now the only whales you'll see in a theme park are the American women

You can explore breed spaniel reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean breed bred dad jokes. There are also breed puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I want to open a Reserve to breed, arm and train West Lowland Gorillas to fight Jihadists.

I'm going to call it Boko Harambe

What breed of dog is the most depressing...?

A melancholy.

A farmer was asked why he specifically breed satanist Yaks on his farm..

...he said he simply enjoys the yakult.

What dog breed will always leave you behind?

A ciao ciao

Apparently Jesus had a dog...

It was a cross breed.

Breed joke, Apparently Jesus had a dog...

I used to breed rabbits.

Then I realized that they pretty much know what to do.

What did the man say when his nose was too stuffed up to have sex?

I can't breed.

Tell me about yourself

1: Well uhh.. I like dogs

2: Oh, what's your favourite breed?

1: Any breed is good, they all taste the same anyway


Earlier the Rich had cars and the poor had horses. Now the Poor have cars and the Rich breed horses

Oh how the stables have turned

Give a man an egg and he'll eat for a day

Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you're taking science too far.

3 dogs met at the park

The Husky mentioned that God has blessed Huskies as the superior breed.

The Rottweiler snapped quickly and replied that God said Rottweilers are the absolute best!

The German Sheppard turned and asked, I said what ?

Did you know that Zonkeys can't breed?

Press F1 to pay respects.

I always have nightmares

I found a breed of female horses that's up all night

What breed of dog is magical?

The Labra-Cadabrador

What do you get when you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu?

A mutt.

Most popular dog breed in New Mexico?

The Meth Lab.

What is El Chapo's favorite dog breed?

A Meth Lab

Did you know that there's a breed of dog who loves science?

You can tell which one it is because they're always wearing a lab coat.

Top 10 most aggressive dog breeds

10: You

9: can't

8: Rank

7: Dog breeds

6: Based on

5: Their aggressiveness

4: As every

3: Dog breed

2: Is different.

1: Chihuahuas

My neighbor has a 15 acre farm, he breeds dogs to do work on them. He grows cantaloupe, and come harvest time the dogs sniff out the ripe ones and bring them back to the barn.

He says the breed are Melon Collies

My friend told me her dogs breed was Havanese

And i told her, of course your dog has knee's, how else would it be able to walk?

What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog, buildings can't jump

TIL there is a rooster that lays eggs.

The breed is Himalayan.

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow

"Ooh!" said thew presenter, "This is a rare breed, do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"

"Sticks." replied Paddy.

How does Santa choose which female reindeer to breed with his prized stud?

By choosing the one that's the best bang for the buck.

Did you know that it is wrong to breed eels with eagles?

It's because it is eel-eagle.

[Long] A redneck was walking with its dog...

A redneck was walking with his dog, when another dog starts to pick a fight with the redneck's dog, the redneck's dog with just one bite kills the other dog.

A lot of people get scared, cause there's a lot of blood and carnage, them a guy asks the redneck "What is your dog's breed?"

To wich the Redneck responds "Before we cut the tail it was a gator"

I've been breeding racing deer

Just trying to make a quick buck

Dog Show Hair Remover

A young woman had entered her dog in the dog show in the smooth-haired breed category. To give it an advantage, she went to the pharmacist for some hair remover. The pharmacist gave her the product requested and advised, "Just remember to keep your arms up for at least five minutes." "Errr... it's not for my armpits," she flustered, embarrassed, "it's for my Chihuahua" "Oh well, in that case," said the pharmacist, "don't ride a bike for twenty minutes."

It's always weird to come across an anti-vaxxer nowadays...

...they seem to be a dying breed

It's so nice to meet so many anti-vaxers here

It feels like we're a dying breed

My dog died. He exploded.

He was a mixed breed. Half golden lab, half meth lab.

What do you get when you breed an elephant and a duck?

A dead duck with gaping asshole

What dog breed always arrives in 2nd place?

Silver retrievers.

What breed of roosters lay eggs

Himalayan.

What are the two biggest fears of Russian military?

That the Chinese learn how to fight like the Finns, or that the Finns learn how to breed like the Chinese.

One Jamaican strolls up to another Jamaican in the park.

'Aright man, nice puppy ya gat there,' said the first Jamaican. 'What's it breed?'

The second Jamaican replied, 'Dis ting breed air like all da other puppies, man.'

The pug

A guy tells his buddy, "I got my wife a dog for her birthday."

His buddy asks, "What breed?"

"It's a pug, the guys says. "And, despite the squashed nose, the bulging eyes and the rolls of fat, the dog really seems to like her."

What are scientists favorite breed of dogs?

Labs.

What happens when you try and breed a cow with an octopus?

You lose your funding.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the breed pinscher jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working breed poodle piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes