Breathless Jokes
16 breathless jokes and hilarious breathless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about breathless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Breathless Short Jokes
Short breathless jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The breathless humour may include short breathing heavy jokes also.
- My wife phoned me, panting and breathless. "Where are you?" she moaned.
"I'm at the pub." I replied.
She said, "I think the baby's coming!"
I said, "Well, he won't get in. He's underage." - My wife called me on the phone, breathless, and said, Where are you? I said, I'm at the pub. She said, I think the baby is coming
Me: I don't think he can get in. He will be underage. - Just got 15 Valentines cards! It's left me completely breathless... The security guard in Clintons Cards gave me quite a chase
- The amount of Valentine's day cards I got this year has left me breathless. Turns out the card shop has a security guard and he gives a good chase.
- Today I got 150 Valentines cards, I was totally shocked and breathless The security guard at Hallmark gave quite a chase!
- I just got over 15 Valentines cards! It left me breathless... The security guard at the Hallmark store gave quite a chase.
- The Patriots visit to the White House was so GREAT... it left Aaron Hernandez choked up and ultimately breathless
- What do Taylor Swift and Avada Kedavra have in common? They'll leave you breathless or with a n**... scar.
- Did you hear the news about the s**...? I forgot the whole story, but I remember that he was left breathless by the outcome.
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Breathless One Liners
Which breathless one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with breathless? I can suggest the ones about breeze and breathtaking.
- Little Johnny's trip to the zoo left him breathless and the boa constrictor euthanized.
- I was once abducted The aleins even showed me outside the ship, i was breathless
- I just replaced the 'n' with a 'm'. Dr. Asthana became breathless.
- Cardi B is attractive but... her sister Cardi O left me breathless.
Gather Around for Fun Breathless Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about breathless you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean breath so bad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make breathless pranks.
I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so…
I quickly followed her. As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus. So I ran after her shouting, "You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!"
She didn't hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too. As I walked to the back of the bus I breathlessly said, "You dropped your purse on the floor outside McDonald's."
"Thank you so much" she said, "Where is it?"
I said, "I've just told you, on the floor outside McDonald's."
An older couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband
"Just think, honey, we've been married for 60 years.?"
"Yes," he replies. "Sixty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. And we were probably n**... as jaybirds."
"Well," the old woman snickers, "should we get n**... again for old time's sake?"
So they s**... off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know," the old woman says breathlessly, "my n**... are as hot for you today as they were 60 years ago."
"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"
A bass player runs into a bar...
where the guitar player and the singer are busy setting up. Breathless, he says "We've got a big problem! I locked my keys in the van!" "Whatever, man" says the singer, "We've got a gig to do, we'll worry about it later." "No, you don't understand" said the bassist, "the drummer is trapped inside!"
What's the difference
A man walks into a pharmacy, buys some antibiotics, pays $25.45, walks out. A second later, the pharmacist bolts out of the pharmacy, catches up with the man, and breathlessly says: "sir, there's been a mistake! Instead of the antibiotics, I gave you Cyanide. " The man asks: "and what's the difference?" The pharmacist says: "two dollars and ten cents".
A woman runs into the clubhouse on a golf course, breathless.
Help... I've been stung by a bee... she gasps.
Where did this happen? asks the pro drinking at the bar.
Between the first and second holes, she replies.
Clearly madam, your stance is too wide.
