The Best 14 Breathing Mouth Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Breathing Mouth jokes. There are some breathing mouth jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these breathing mouth puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Breathing Mouth Jokes and Puns

Last night a man attacked me.

Last night when i was coming home from work a man attacked me. He silently put the knife to my throat with his hand covering my mouth.. I think that's it, I'm done. He takes out his business card, gives it to me and leaves. With a pounding heart and shortness of breath, I read it.

It said : *Self-defense courses.*

The two troublemakers

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.

So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

I was told that you catch more fish if you put maggots in your mouth for 5m before attaching them to your rod. Is this true?

I await your replies with baited breath.

I get why Karen's hate wearing face masks

Because they make mouth breathers smell their own breath

Secret to wine tasting is to open the bottle and allowing it to breathe

If it doesn't look like it is breathing, then give it a mouth-to-mouth

Al, Ben, and Carl were fishing in the middle of a lake when Al fell overboard.

Ben jumped into the lake to rescue Al. When he finally found Al, he threw the body onto the boat and Carl pulled him up.

As soon as Ben was safely in the boat, he noticed that Al wasn't breathing, so he quickly gave Al mouth-to-mouth.

"Yuck!" said Ben. "I don't remember Al having such bad breath."

"Come to think of it," said Carl, "I don't remember him wearing ice skates either."

A young woman starts choking on her seafood at a restaurant.

The man behind her says "Stand back! I'm a doctor!" and proceeds to use the Heimlich manoeuvre on her.

A whole small fish shoots out of her mouth and the woman finally gasps in a few breaths.

The doctor picks up the fish and says "What's a plaice like you doing in a girl like this?"

Three fishermen

Bob, Steve, and Terry are out in the boat, fishing and drinking beer. Terry stands up to pee over the side but falls overboard and sinks right to the bottom.

Steve doesn't hesitate. He kicks off his shoes and dives into the water after Terry. A few moments later, he surfaces, dragging the body behind, and immediately begins mouth-to-mouth.

"Jeez," he gasps. "Terry sure does have bad breath!"

"Yeah," says Bob. "And where did he get that snowmobile suit?"

I bought a pack of spearmint gum.

Now there's a hole in my mouth and my breath smells like blood.

I bet you can't breath loudly with your mouth open and tongue out

Good dog!

Have you ever gotten laid in a sleeping bag?

It's horrible. You can't breathe, it's all sweaty, and your scoutmaster is covering your mouth.

You can explore breathing mouth reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean breathing mouth dad jokes. There are also breathing mouth puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

The Best Way to Enjoy a Good Wine is to First Open the Bottle and Allow it to Breathe.

Then if it does not look like it is breathing, give it mouth to mouth.

There once was an algebraic instructionswoman who did not rinse out her mouth

The function of Listerine to her breath varied inversely, as the function of Listerine went undefined throughout the year.

Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the breathing mouth puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working breathing mouth piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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