The Best 22 Breathing Blonde Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Breathing Blonde jokes. There are some breathing blonde exhale jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these breathing blonde breathe puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Breathing Blonde Jokes and Puns

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life.

It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

A blonde and brunette are living together.

The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why she had a rope tied around her waist. The blonde answered that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, "You're supposed to put the rope around your neck." The blonde replied, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe!"

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life.

It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

Breathing Blonde joke

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life.

It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself.

A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists.

"What are you doing." they ask her.

So she replies "Hanging myself."

The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck."

The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."


There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck.

And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.

dumb blonde

A blond walk into a hair salon with headphones on and sits down in a chair. The blonde asks the woman working there for a haircut. The woman takes of the headphones and cuts the blondes hair. After she is finished she looks down and to her surprise finds the blonde dead. The woman puts on the headphones and hears this "Breathe in.....Breathe out.....Breath in.......Breath out"

Breathing Blonde joke, dumb blonde

Blonde Co-Pilot

This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.

He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out for help.

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying:

"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! First, give me your height and position."

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."

"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "repeat after me: Our Father...Who art in Heaven....."

My favorite blonde joke.

A blonde was tired of all the abuse she received because she was blond so she decided to hang herself on a tree in a field.

A man walked by and saw what was happening, approached her he asked, "What are you doing?"

She replied, "I'm going to kill myself because I can't take the abuse anymore."

The man, confused, said, "Why are you hanging by your feet? Aren't you supposed to tie the rope around your neck."

She said, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe."

What do you call a Blonde doing a handstand? NSFW

A Brunette with bad breath.

What do you get when you flip a blonde up-side-down?

A brunette with shrimp-breath.

You can explore breathing blonde officer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean breathing blonde woman dad jokes. There are also breathing blonde puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man goes home, and finds his blonde girlfriend hanging from the staircase and crying with a rope around her stomach...

"Honey, what are you doing?"

"I tried to hang myself, but when I put the rope around my neck I couldn't breathe."

Mother has four sons joke

The older three sons are blonde with light skin. The youngest is a brunette with darker skin.
The husband is laying on his deathbed. He turns to his wife and asks "honey, I need to know... is our youngest really my son?"
The wife responds: "yes dear, of course, I swear to god with all my heart!"
Reassured, the husband then passes away peacefully. The wife huffed a breath of relief and then muttered "thank god he didn't ask about the other three"

What do you get when you turn a blonde girl upside down?

A brunette with bad breath

A blond is fed up with her life

A blond woman is fed up with life, so she goes out into the woods and hangs herself. A man walks through the woods, and sees the woman hanging from her waste on a rope tied to a tree.

"What are you doing?" - He asks.

"Hanging myself," she replies.

"Shouldn't the rope be around your neck?" he asks.

She replies, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."

What do you call a blonde turned upside down? [NSFW]

a brunette with bad breath.

Breathing Blonde joke, What do you call a blonde turned upside down? [NSFW]

[nsfw] What does a blond become when she is turned uppside-down?

A brunett with bad breath

A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.

She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.

At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."

He ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."

A blonde was walking down the street with headphones in

A friend of hers stops her, and tries to talk to her

The blonde just stares at them, keeping the headphones in her ears, so the friend removes them for her and the blonde stops breathing

The friend quickly puts the earbuds back in and she starts breathing again

The friend tries it again, and the blonde stops breathing

The friend takes out only one ear bud, and sticks it in their ear and hears,

Breathe in, breathe out, breath in...


Blonde dies on a bus listening to music..

The audio was telling her to breath but she hit pause on accident.

What do you call a blonde upside down?

A brunette with bad breath.

A blond was listening to breathing exercises on headphones and her boyfriend came up behind her and took them off her head.

She died.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the breathing blonde breath jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working breathing blonde breather piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes