The Best 12 Breathalyzer Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Breathalyzer jokes. There are some breathalyzer checkpoint jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these breathalyzer cop puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Breathalyzer Jokes and Puns

"When I stick it in my mouth, do you want me to look into your eyes?"

"Ma'am, just blow in the breathalyzer, please."

Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over...

Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, Step out of the car says the cop, I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test. I can't , Jim responds You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack. Alright, says the cop, then you're going to have to take a blood test. Can't do that either, Jim responds, I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death. Ok, the cop answers then I will need a urine sample. Sorry, says Jim I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low. Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me. Can't do that either responds Jim. Why not? Demanded the exasperated cop. Well, because I'm drunk!

What do you blow on and make a wish?

A breathalyzer

Breathalyzer joke, What do you blow on and make a wish?

High grades

The son comes to his father:
"Dad, I got a 7.5 on my test"
"Congratulations son! In which test?"
"Breathalyzer. And they kept your car..."

Two blonds are doing 180mph on a highway.

A cop pulls them over, gets out, and as he walks towards the blondes's car he drops his pants. One blonde says to the other: "Oh no, not another breathalyzer test."


Pulled Over

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking blonde woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell of liquor on her breath. He said, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol."

She blew the breathalyzer and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones."

She turned red, and replied, "You mean it shows that, too?"

Hey have you heard of the sommeliers that formed a rock band?

They're called *Effervescence*. Their hit singles include *"My Last Breathalyzer Test"* and *"Bring Me More Wine"*. And who could forget *"Lacrymismosa"*?

Breathalyzer joke, Hey have you heard of the sommeliers that formed a rock band?

A policeman pulls over a driver...

for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
I can't do that, officer.

Why not?

Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.

Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station.

Can't do that either, officer.

Why not?

Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.

Alright, we could get a blood sample.

Can't do that either, officer.

Why not?

Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.

Fine then, just walk this white line.

Can't do that either, officer.

Why not?

Because I'm drunk.

Why is it better to take off your glasses if you are taking breathalyzer test?

Because that'll be two glasses less.

So a rookie cop see someone speeding

" I see someone speeding. I just pulled them over. What should I do. "

" Is it the blonde? "

" Yes. "

" Pull your pants down and ask her to do a breathalyzer test. "

The rookie cop does what he is told.

The blonde gets on her knees and says.

" Not this again. "

Sad saxophone solo

The policeman takes back his breathalyzer

\-How did you do that?

You can explore breathalyzer test reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean breathalyzer alcohol dad jokes. There are also breathalyzer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Your breath smells so bad...

You couldn't pass a breathalyzer sober!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the breathalyzer reflector jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working breathalyzer polygraph piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes