Breathalyzer Jokes
21 breathalyzer jokes and hilarious breathalyzer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about breathalyzer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Breathalyzer Short Jokes
Short breathalyzer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The breathalyzer humour may include short breath test jokes also.
- "When I stick it in my mouth, do you want me to look into your eyes?" "Ma'am, just blow in the breathalyzer, please."
- I was trying to remember... The word "candle" , so I asked my daughter (23), "You know, one of those things you blow and make a wish?"
She said, "Breathalyzer'" - So I said, "It's not about how many times you fall down. It's about how many times you get back up." And the cop said, "Sir, now I'm going to ask you to take a breathalyzer test."
- High grades The son comes to his father:
"Dad, I got a 7.5 on my test"
"Congratulations son! In which test?"
"Breathalyzer. And they kept your car..." - I treat the speed limit like I treat breathalyzers Once I'm over the limit, I might as well see how high I can go.
- Why is it better to t**... glasses if you are taking breathalyzer test? Because that'll be two glasses less.
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Breathalyzer One Liners
Which breathalyzer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with breathalyzer? I can suggest the ones about booze and drinker.
- What do you blow on and make a wish? A breathalyzer
- What do librarians call breathalyzers? The DUI decimal system
- What do vasectomies and breathalyzers have in common? The goal is to blow a zero.
- Sad saxophone solo The policeman takes back his breathalyzer
\-How did you do that? - Your breath smells so bad... You couldn't pass a breathalyzer sober!
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Breathalyzer Jokes
What funny jokes about breathalyzer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drunk driver jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make breathalyzer pranks.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over...
Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, Step out of the car says the cop, I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test. I can't , Jim responds You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack. Alright, says the cop, then you're going to have to take a blood test. Can't do that either, Jim responds, I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death. Ok, the cop answers then I will need a u**... sample. Sorry, says Jim I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low. Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me. Can't do that either responds Jim. Why not? Demanded the exasperated cop. Well, because I'm drunk!
Russian police officer pulls over a man in Lada...
Russian police officer pulls over a man in Lada, who was swerving across the road. He asks: "Did you have anything to drink?"
"No," says the man.
The cop doesn't believe him and gives him a breathalyzer test. The man blows into the device and the result comes back negative. The police officer is baffled and to test the device, he breathes into it himself. The device beeps, he looks at the screen and says:
"Clearly, it's working..."
Two blonds are doing 180mph on a highway.
A cop pulls them over, gets out, and as he walks towards the blondes's car he drops his pants. One blonde says to the other: "Oh no, not another breathalyzer test."
A policeman pulls over a driver...
for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
I can't do that, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.
Okay, we'll just get a u**... sample down at the station.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.
Alright, we could get a blood sample.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.
Fine then, just walk this white line.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm drunk.
Pulled Over
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking blonde woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell of liquor on her breath. He said, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol."
She blew the breathalyzer and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones."
She turned red, and replied, "You mean it shows that, too?"
Hey have you heard of the sommeliers that formed a rock band?
They're called *Effervescence*. Their hit singles include *"My Last Breathalyzer Test"* and *"Bring Me More Wine"*. And who could forget *"Lacrymismosa"*?
So a rookie cop see someone speeding
" I see someone speeding. I just pulled them over. What should I do. "
" Is it the blonde? "
" Yes. "
" Pull your pants down and ask her to do a breathalyzer test. "
The rookie cop does what he is told.
The blonde gets on her knees and says.
" Not this again. "
