The Best 19 Breastfeed Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Breastfeed jokes. There are some breastfeed nurse jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these breastfeed maternity puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Breastfeed Jokes and Puns

This hating of people that breastfeed in public really has to stop.

I can raise my cat any way I want.

A woman was trying to breastfeed her son in a bus

The kid throws a tantrum and refuses to suck on his mother's breast. So in a fit, the mother tells her son, "If you don't want this milk, I'm gonna give this to the gentleman beside us."

An hour later, the kid still refused to breastfeed. So she tells her son again, "If you won't breastfeed, I'm really gonna give this to this man beside us!"

Then the guy beside them suddenly interrupted, "Please make up your mind now. My stop was 30 minutes ago."

A man is sitting next to woman on a bus

The woman is trying to breastfeed, but the baby refuses to suck on her breast. She warns her child, if you don't start sucking, I'm going to give it to the man next to me , but the baby still refuses.

After 20 minutes, the woman repeats the threat several times to no avail. The man finally clears his throat and says, look here lady, you need to make up your mind, I was supposed to get off 6 bus stops ago!

Breastfeed joke, A man is sitting next to woman on a bus

Breastfeeding in public is natural.

And it strengthens the bond between me and my dog.

Why don't Vegans breastfeed their newborns?

Because nobody will have sex with them.


I hate people who finds it disgusting when i breastfeed in public ..

It's completely normal and strenghtens the bond between me and my dog.

A solar eclipse is like watching a woman breastfeed in public

It's beautiful, it's free, but under no circumstances should you look at it.

Breastfeed joke, A solar eclipse is like watching a woman breastfeed in public

I was breastfeeding out in public earlier today and I was getting a lot of strange looks.

There are some things a dad just shouldn't do. Especially with someone else's child.

My wife was so angry today. She said that she'll never public breastfeed anymore.

She also told me that she'll do it only after our first child is born.

I think breastfeeding in public should be encouraged

There are a lot of hungry homeless people.

I used to drive my infant daughter (who refused to dribk from a bottle) to the hospital where my wife worked as a nurse so she could breastfeed during her lunch break.

I'm no math major, but I'm pretty sure that means that my wife was nursingΒ².

You can explore breastfeed child reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean breastfeed baby dad jokes. There are also breastfeed puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My childhood was tough.

I'm so ugly, that when I was a baby my mother refused to breastfeed me.

She told me she just liked me as a friend.

To the people who say nursing is a woman's job, I agree.

Men can't exactly breastfeed their babies.

How do we know when we have truly demolished gender roles?

When men breastfeed in public just as frequently as women.

If you don't like it when women breastfeed in public, does that make you..

Lactate intolerant?

Women can breastfeed in public as long as they have a blanket over them.

So I don't understand this Mall Cop's problem with my masturbation towel.

Breastfeed joke, Women can breastfeed in public as long as they have a blanket over them.

Some idiot filled his cars gas tank with milk

On the bright side he doesn't need to breastfeed his wife anymore...

When it comes to breastfeeding, my wife is so forgetful.

She's got a mammary like a sieve.

Breastfeeding isn't gross,

you just need to get the baby out of the way.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the breastfeed teet jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working breastfeed newborn piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes