Breastfeeding Jokes
35 breastfeeding jokes and hilarious breastfeeding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about breastfeeding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Breastfeeding Short Jokes
Short breastfeeding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The breastfeeding humour may include short breast feeding jokes also.
- Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
Me: yeah he is really milking it
- Today I kicked a breastfeeding mom out of my restaurant Not because other customers thought she was indecent, but because we have a no outside food or drinks policy
- My wife got thrown out of a restaurant for breastfeeding They said no outside food allowed
- A solar eclipse is like a woman breastfeeding It's beautiful, it's natural, it should be celebrated, but that still doesn't mean you should stare at it
- I was breastfeeding out in public earlier today and I was getting a lot of strange looks. There are some things a dad just shouldn't do. Especially with someone else's child.
- What do you call a group of breastfeeding mothers that just ran out of potatoes? Lack-taters
- I think breastfeeding in public should be encouraged There are a lot of hungry homeless people.
- My wife finished breastfeeding our son so I threw out her old breast pump I'll miss that thing. We shared some good mammaries together.
- A man is in a job interview.. "So it says here that you consider your memory to be one of your greatest strengths?"
"Absolutely."
"Could you give me an example of that?"
"An example of what?" - I don't mind women breastfeeding in public... But I hate it when they get offended when I wink at them and ask for a taste.
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Breastfeeding One Liners
Which breastfeeding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with breastfeeding? I can suggest the ones about breast milk and mammary.
- Breastfeeding in public is natural. And it strengthens the bond between me and my dog.
- My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is... ...they never wink back.
- What do you call it when you're breastfeeding and nothing comes out? A milk dud.
- Apparently breastfeeding hurts Which is sucky.
- What did the baby say to its mom after breastfeeding? Thanks for the mammaries!
- Breastfeeding isn't g**..., you just need to get the baby out of the way.
Delightful Fun Breastfeeding Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about breastfeeding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pumping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make breastfeeding pranks.
A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle....
So she says to her baby
_"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there"_ and points at the man sitting across from her
10 mins later _"You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!"_
5 mins later _"Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or im giving it to that man"_
At this point the gentleman sitting across from her yells
_"FFS Make up your mind lady, my stop was 3 stops ago!"_
On the bus today, I saw an attractive young woman breastfeeding
Suddenly an old woman started shouting, "you shouldn't be doing that in public, that's disgusting!!!".
A part of me wanted to scold the old woman, but another part of me thinks...
"Maybe I shouldn't have been m**... on a bus..."
A woman was breastfeeding in the bus the other day
...And suddenly, this old lady gets up and starts screaming "you can't do that here, have you no shame? in front of everyone???".
Everybody turns around, the old lady keeps screaming, the woman with her baby stands here mortified...
...I had to pull my pants back up and get off the bus...
The young woman sitting next to me on the train today was breastfeeding her baby...
An officer came up to us and said, "Please stop doing this here, or we're going to have to ask you to leave."
So I sighed, stopped m**... and pulled my pants back up.
People who get mad at me for breastfeeding in public can f*c**... off!
It's completely natural and it strengthens the bond between me and my dog.
There was a woman breastfeeding her child next to me.
I looked at her and said, "Do you never feel like perverts are giving you weird looks when you do that in public?"
She smiled, and said, "Oh no, not really."
I said, "Phew."
A mom is breastfeeding her baby twins.
One day, one of the twins realized that there is more milk coming from the breast where his twin sibling is feeding on. Because of extreme jealousy, he put poison on that specific breast while everyone is asleep.
The next day, the twins' uncle died.
There was a woman breastfeeding in the park.
Fascinated, I walked over and said, "I hope you don't mind me being curious, but what's it like?"
"Oh," she said, "it's a bit uncomfortable if I'm honest."
I said, "I was talking to the baby."
Sudden end of a longtime friendship
**Sudden end of a longtime friendship**
*a short story*
Monica was breastfeeding her son
while her best friend Soniya sat nearby...
Monica asked - 'Does my son resemble me or his father?'
Soniya - 'He looks like you, but he s**... exactly like his father!'
**The End**
What is Britain's most popular newspaper amongst breastfeeding mothers?
The Daily Express.
Man spreading is a lot like breastfeeding in public....
We're all just trying to take care of our kids.
I don't have a problem with women breastfeeding in public.
I just wish that they would wink back at me.
Study shows no long-term cognitive benefit to breastfeeding.
Well clearly they didn't study enough.
The solar eclipse is like a woman breastfeeding...
You're not supposed to look, but you know you are going to take a peek.
