Breast Surgery Jokes
17 breast surgery jokes and hilarious breast surgery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about breast surgery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Breast Surgery Short Jokes
Short breast surgery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The breast surgery humour may include short breast implant jokes also.
- You guys ever heard about breast reduction surgery? I hear it's a real out of booby experience.
- Why did the stripper decide not to go through with the breast augmentation surgery? Because she found out her doctor graduated from the University of Hard k**....
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Breast Surgery One Liners
Which breast surgery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with breast surgery? I can suggest the ones about breast implants and breast cancer.
- My girlfriend recently got breast reduction surgery She looks flat out ridiculous.
- If I ever got into the plastic surgery business I would call my company "Breast Buy".
- I got breast removal surgery... Sorry I had to get that of my chest
Breast Surgery Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about breast surgery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cosmetic surgery jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make breast surgery pranks.
After decades of marriage, a woman tells her husband that she wants breast implants...
The husband tells her that breast augmentation surgery is too expensive and that they should try to find some alternatives.
"Well, what would you suggest?" asks the wife.
The husband responds, "At least once per day, you should take a w**... of paper and slide it between your b**.... If you do it long enough, your b**... will get bigger."
"How the h**... is that supposed to give me bigger t**...??" she exclaims.
"Well, it's worked for your a**..., hasn't it?"
b**... Job
Wife says to her husband, "I've been saving up and I can finally afford that b**... job I've been wanting for years."
Husband: Why spend all that money on surgery? Just take toilet paper and rub it between your b**....
Wife: How will that make my b**... bigger?
Husband: I don't know but it has sure worked for your a**...!
New kinds of implants.
So a girl went into a plastic surgery clinic to get a breast e**..., the doctors told her that they ran out of silicon and all they had left was wood. She didn't get it obviously that would be s**... woodentit?
Lower back problems
The other day, my friend and I were discussing Scarlett Johansson. I said: "I think she got breast reduction surgery." My friend asked why. I told him, "lower back problems." He looked shocked and indignant and said: "why didn't she get lower back surgery then?"
Playing with fate
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. Will I die? she asks.
God says, No. You have 30 more years to live.
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she's in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she's discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. You said I had 30 more years to live, she complains.
That's true, says God.
So what happened? she asks.
God shrugs. I didn't recognize you.
A middle aged woman suffers a heart attack...
... and meets God before being revived. He tells her not to worry; she's got at least 40 more years of life ahead of her.
Upon waking from surgery, she decides that with all that time left, and since she's at the hospital anyway, she'll get some cosmetic surgery... a face lift, a nose job, breast implants, liposuction, the works.
After recovering from all that, she is on her way home and is hit by a bus and killed. Seeing God again, she cries, "You said I had 40 more years!"
God says, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you".
Sandy, an older women in her fifties, has a near death experience...
...later, on the operating table. She sees God who tells her not to worry she has at least another thirty years to live.
Sandy decides she's anyway in the hospital and she had another thirty years to live, she should make the most of it. She has plastic surgery on her face, Botox and breast augmentation. A few week later she's crossing the street and gets hit by a car and is killed.
She comes up to heaven and sees God. I don't understand, she says to God You said I had another thirty years?
God answers her, I didn't recognize you.
A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was immediately transported to the hospital.
While she was in surgery she had a supernatural, near death experience.
She met God and asked him: "Has my time come?"
He answered: "No, you have 43 years, 2 months and 8 more days to live."
After she recovered, the woman decided to stay in hospital and do plastic surgery on her face, liposuction, breast e**... and abdominal fat removal.
She also called a hair stylist to change her hairstyle and an orthodontist to perform a ‘teeth lifting’.
She figured, if she had so much time in front of her, she should live the best way possible.
After her last plastic surgery and not until she has recovered, she wore a new dress with matching heels, left the hospital, went across the street and an ambulance run over her…
While crossing the gates to heaven, she reached God and demanded to know what happened: "You told me I had 43 more years! Why didn’t you save me from the ambulance?"
And he answered: "I didn’t recognize you."
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside.
“Will I die?” she asks. God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.” With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains. “That’s true,” says God. “So what happened?” she asks. God shrugs, “I didn’t recognize you.”