Breast Milk Jokes
23 breast milk jokes and hilarious breast milk puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about breast milk that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Breast Milk Short Jokes
Short breast milk jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The breast milk humour may include short milk jokes also.
- I'm so sick of people looking at me funny because I choose to breast feed. If I wanna get my milk straight from the cow, then that's up to me.
- My wife has to pump breast milk multiple times a day and she's always complaining about it. I think she's just milking it.
- I walked up to a woman feeding ducks in the park and said, "Excuse me, but isn't that a bit weird?" "No, why would it be?" she replied.
"Because normal people use bread, not breast milk."
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Breast Milk One Liners
Which breast milk one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with breast milk? I can suggest the ones about breast feeding and breastfeeding.
- Cows milk doesn't just come from one breast They have udders
- What do you call a baby that is fed breast milk? A mustard dispenser.
- what is the best in breast milk? The wrapping!!
- At the store today...Would you like your milk in a bag? I prefer a breast, thank you.
- What do you call the breast milk bank? The community chest
Hilarious Breast Milk Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about breast milk you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cow milk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make breast milk pranks.
During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.
He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:
- Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,
- Doesn't need heating,
But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:
- Has great packaging.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman was trying to breastfeed her son in a bus
The kid throws a tantrum and refuses to s**... on his mother's breast. So in a fit, the mother tells her son, "If you don't want this milk, I'm gonna give this to the gentleman beside us."
An hour later, the kid still refused to breastfeed. So she tells her son again, "If you won't breastfeed, I'm really gonna give this to this man beside us!"
Then the guy beside them suddenly interrupted, "Please make up your mind now. My stop was 30 minutes ago."
The Chinese government is trying to help working women by providing breast milk couriers...
The couriers take the breast milk from the factory where the mother works to the factory where the baby works.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A single father needed breast milk for his infant baby and so he asked others how he could get it.
A colleague of his who was lactating offered to give her milk to the baby.
She became his breast friend.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The road was wet, the moon was high, we were alone, just her and I. The moon was bright, her eyes were too, I knew just what she wanted to do.. So with my courage, I did my best, and placed my hand, upon her breast. I knew she was ready, but I didn't know how..
It was my first time ever, milking a cow.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer is sitting in bed with his wife
He reaches over and playfully squeezes her breast and says you know, if we could get these to work, we could get rid of the milking cow
She reaches down between his legs and says yes, and if you could get this to work, we could get rid of the farm hand .
A mom is breastfeeding her baby twins.
One day, one of the twins realized that there is more milk coming from the breast where his twin sibling is feeding on. Because of extreme jealousy, he put poison on that specific breast while everyone is asleep.
The next day, the twins' uncle died.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny was talking to a neighbor.
He asked her, "What do you feed your new baby"? The woman replied, "Milk and orange juice". Johnny looked at her b**... then looked up and asked, "which one's the orange juice"?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A new mother has sold over $6,000 worth of breast milk to body builders.
Apparently body builders is the term for people with a breast milk f**....
Bob goes to the doctor...
Bob goes to the doctor for tests and is
diagnosed with an extremely rare illness that
can only be cured if he drinks a quantity of
fresh mother's milk. When he gets home, he asks his mother, but she just tells him not to be daft. Then his mother tells him that the girl upstairs has just given birth and the husband is away at sea, so he should go up and ask her nicely. The girl is just about to go to bed when Bob arrives, but she agrees to his request and, with a mischievous smile, invites him through to the bedroom. "You can't get it any fresher," she says, presenting her left breast to his lips. Bob feels a bit awkward, but he is only following doctor's orders after all. As he slurps at his medication, he hears a few soft moans and sighs. She gently pulls his head away from her breast, looks at him and murmurs, "Is there anything else I could offer you?" Overwhelmed by her generosity, he wipes his lips and says, . . . . . . . "Well, a biscuit would be very nice."