Breast Implant Jokes
65 breast implant jokes and hilarious breast implant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about breast implant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Breast Implant Short Jokes
Short breast implant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The breast implant humour may include short breast surgery jokes also.
- I once met a woman with wooden breast implants This joke would be funny with a punchline, wouldn't it?
- Did you hear about the lady that had breast implants made of oak? It would be nice if this joke had a punch line, woodentit?
- My blonde friend got breast implants I used to call her " little Connie", now she's just "Silicone"
- Tag line outside a Breast Implant Clinic: If nature has given you "lemons"
we will re-arrange the alphabets & convert them into "melons" !! - Magic is like breast implants... ...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder
- It's sad when a woman has to get breast implants just to keep her husband interested... ...it's even worse when his are still bigger.
- Getting breast implants is an experience you'll never forget. Those mammaries will stay with you forever.
- [Blonde] Why are all the blondes rushing to get breast implants? Because they don't want to pay the flat tax.
- Breast implant patient in appreciation for the surgeon's work said: "Thanks for the mammaries!"
- My friend got caught and thrown... ... in the slammer for stealing a consignment of breast implants.
he's a silicone
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Breast Implant One Liners
Which breast implant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with breast implant? I can suggest the ones about implants and breast cancer.
- Q: What do you call the cleavage between breast implants? A: Silicon Valley
- Breast implants are like potato chips. You can't have just one.
- I asked an Italian plastic surgeon what he uses for breast implants He just replied "Si"
- How does a woman with breast implants sing? With a false set-o
- What do you call the cleavage of someone with breast implants? Silicone Valley
- A local plastic surgeon started giving away free breast implants... They're up for grabs.
- What do you call cross dressers with breast implants? Booby traps.
- How do you call a clown's breast implants that are pointy instead of round? Silly cones.
- What do you call a flower's breast augmentation? Implants.
- Where did Steve Job's wife get her breast implants? Silicon Valley
- What do you call a drag queen with breast implants? A booby trap
- My wife is getting breast implants. She just doesn't know it yet.
- Natural Breast Implants
- Whats around $5000+ and enhances personality? Breast implants.
- My x had a Nikon breast implant She called it her photographic mammary.
Breast Implant Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about breast implant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean plastic surgery jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make breast implant pranks.
A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills.
One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. She saw God and asked, “Is this it?”
God said, “No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live.”
Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction, and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it.
She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation, and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, “I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?”
God replied, “Shirley! I’m sorry but I didn’t recognize you!”
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside.
“Will I die?” she asks. God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.” With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains. “That’s true,” says God. “So what happened?” she asks. God shrugs, “I didn’t recognize you.”
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
“How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her.
“Well, I was trying to commit s**...,” the blonde replied.
“What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit s**... by shooting your finger off?”
“No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.”
“So then?” asked the doctor.
“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.”
“So then?”
“Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”
Difference between Port Authority and a lobster with breast implants?
One's a crusty bus station...
The other's a b**... crustacean!
New kinds of implants.
So a girl went into a plastic surgery clinic to get a breast e**..., the doctors told her that they ran out of silicon and all they had left was wood. She didn't get it obviously that would be s**... woodentit?
My wife just called AAA because she had a flat.
Apparently they can't help with breast implants.
What can be said about a dumb blonde with breast implants?
The headlights are on, but no one's home.
[Oc] What do you call a transgender woman with old school breast implants?
Balloon Boy
What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station, the others a b**... crustacean.
What's the difference between a dilapidated bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
…One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a b**... crustacean!
(My husband groaned loudly when I told him this one, so I knew it was pretty good.)
What's the difference between a dilapidated bus stop and a lobster with a breast implant?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a b**... crustacean.
Heard very recently and just had to share.
What's the difference is between a lobster with breast implants and a filthy bus depot?
One is a b**... crustacean and the other is a crusty bus-station!
*edited because I s**... up my original punchline...
A middle aged woman suffers a heart attack...
... and meets God before being revived. He tells her not to worry; she's got at least 40 more years of life ahead of her.
Upon waking from surgery, she decides that with all that time left, and since she's at the hospital anyway, she'll get some cosmetic surgery... a face lift, a nose job, breast implants, liposuction, the works.
After recovering from all that, she is on her way home and is hit by a bus and killed. Seeing God again, she cries, "You said I had 40 more years!"
God says, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you".
What do you call a crackhouse that sells breast implants?
A b**... trap..
What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a filthy, old bus stop?
One's a b**... crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station!
(pls forgive me if you've heard this one before)
What's the difference between a dilapidated public transit stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a b**... crustacean.
Playing with fate
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. Will I die? she asks.
God says, No. You have 30 more years to live.
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she's in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she's discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. You said I had 30 more years to live, she complains.
That's true, says God.
So what happened? she asks.
God shrugs. I didn't recognize you.
What do you call someone who's clueless about breast implants?
b**... noob
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with breast implants?
One is a Crusty Bus Station and the other is a b**... crustacean
iBoob
Apple announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their b**... and not listening to them.
Always wondered about using oak instead of silicon for breast implants
Be a lot firmer, wooden t**...?
What's the difference between an old bus station and Mr. Krabs with breast implants?
One's a crusty bus station, while the other's a b**... crustacean
After decades of marriage, a woman tells her husband that she wants breast implants...
The husband tells her that breast augmentation surgery is too expensive and that they should try to find some alternatives.
"Well, what would you suggest?" asks the wife.
The husband responds, "At least once per day, you should take a w**... of paper and slide it between your b**.... If you do it long enough, your b**... will get bigger."
"How the h**... is that supposed to give me bigger t**...??" she exclaims.
"Well, it's worked for your a**..., hasn't it?"
My wife said she'd like us to save money for her to get breast implants
I told her, Why? All you need to do is rub some toilet paper between your b**... every day.
She said, What the h**... is that going to do?
I said, I don't know but it seems to have worked wonders on your a**....
What's the difference between a dusty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and ones a b**... crustacean