The Best 51 Breakup Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Breakup jokes. There are some breakup elves jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these breakup rupture puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Breakup Jokes and Puns

What did the website say to the Google bot after their breakup?

I knew you'd come crawling back to me someday.

Taylor Swift's next album is going to be another break-up album.

It will be about her split with Spotify.


My girlfriend told me she was breaking up with me over the phone yesterday, I don't know why I could hear her just fine on my side.

Breakup joke, Breakup

Just went through a rough breakup with my cross eyed girlfriend.

Turns out she was seeing someone else..

..but the real joke is I don't have a girlfriend.

I'm going to have to breakup with my girlfriend...

...I just found out she has terrible taste in men.

Why did the square breakup with the circle?

She wasn't edgy enough!

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Breakup joke, Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

Breakups are worst in China....

... Wherever you go you see his/her face.

They say breakups are the hardest in China.

You break up with the girl, and you see her face everywhere.


What do Native Americanas Say after a Break-up

Bros Before Navajos...

Britain will be just fine...

you always lose a few Pounds after a breakup.

You can explore breakup chitin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean breakup separation dad jokes. There are also breakup puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Apparently the Brexit is inspiring other countries to hold their own referenda, and could lead to the breakup of the EU.

Could this be The Final Countdown for Europe?

A banker friend of mine had a breakup recently

He lost interest.

Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey?

The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece.

Breaking up with Japanese Girls.

I hate to breakup with Japanese girls because you have to drop the bomb twice before they get it.

I just had a breakup for being honest

GF: You know to day is Valentines Day right?

ME: mmm...yeah, so?

GF: Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous.

ME: Well, that explains why they've received flowers doesn't it?

Breakup joke, I just had a breakup for being honest

Pakistani breakup line

Boy to Girl: It's not you, it's my goat !

There may be no fish in the sea by 2050 according to some scientists.

What will we tell people who have just gone through a breakup?

Why did the physics teacher breakup with the biology teacher ?

There was no chemistry

How do you define a bad breakup?

With respect to x.

If you want to breakup with someone but don't know how to do it..

Just put together some IKEA furniture and let it play out.

Why should you never breakup with a goalie?

Because he's a keeper.

How does a Ham Radio buff send a break-up message?

Remorse Code

I'm not that big of a fan of Taylor Swift's break-up songs.

Personally, I think we need to hear from all of her ex-boyfriends before we can pick a side.

Dual Heart Attack Message By A Girl.

Dual Heart Attack Message By A Girl.

1st Message: Let's Breakup Now, Its All Over

2nd Message: Sorry-Sorry, That Was Not For You

Dual Heart Attack Message By A Girl.

1st Message: Let's Breakup Now, Its All Over

2nd Message: Sorry-Sorry, That Was Not For You

Why do Bookworms breakup ?

Because they are not on the same page.

Unsynced subtitles.

What hurts more than a breakup?

For men, having a bad breakup is like going through menopause.

It sucks until you realize you don't have anymore girl problems.

Did you hear about the LEGO girl's bad breakup?

She was falling to pieces.

Why were Ancient Romans expected to date a crazy person in childhood but break-up with them before age 9?

Because at 9 one needs to be followed by an X.

Had to breakup with my girlfriend today...

...Couldn't be going out with someone with such bad taste in men.

What hurts more than a breakup?

Muscle cramps.

A man walks into a bar after a Break-up..

He asks for two shots. The bartender asks "What'll it be? Whisky or vodka?"
He replies

"Nine millimeter please."

How does a communist break-up

It's not you, it's us.

Why WW2 started

Hitler had started WW2 after a breakup with his Polish girlfriend.

She didn't want to see him anymore, so Hitler said,

"Well, I'm Nazi'ing you anymore!"

Why wasn't the chef sad when he had a break-up?

Cause he always loves when bay-leaves.

Why are breakups so hard in China?

Because you see her face everywhere.

What do you call a teenager going through a serious breakup


^^^Kill ^^^me

What does the Earth do after a bad breakup?

Gets drunk off its axis.

My girlfriend threatened to break-up with me if I didn't stop acting like a Transformer...

I said "but baby, I can change!"

During our breakup, my ex said that my ego was way too big

But I think it's one of the things that makes me so great

How do you deal with breakup?

By breaking down :(

I had to breakup with my girlfriend

After she lost her toes in a climbing accident.

Afterall I am lac-toes intolerant.

Why did the lizards breakup?

Because he had ereptile dysfunction.

Breakups are the best excuse.

Your friends want to go out to that restaurant you hate?

Just look sad and say: My girlfriend and I used to love going there...

Boom, nobody wants to go anymore. Pity works wonders.

Your boss asks you at stay late Friday night?

Look sad and say: My girlfriend and I used to do SQL database backups...

Boom, no work!

What does the sniper say to his gf after a breakup?

I won't miss you.

The World Wildlife Fund has stated that if humans keep fishing at the current pace, there will be no more fish left in the oceans by 2048.

Which is going to make it really difficult to comfort someone who is going through a relationship break-up.

"I know there is love in some corner of this world" said I after my breakup

"the earth is round honey" exclaimed my mom from kitchen

My on and off Lego girlfriend

and I have been going strong for a while now.

But the last breakup we had, I was left alone to pick up the pieces.

My first breakup was in grade two...

She left me for the guy with a new pencil.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the breakup cher jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working breakup dysfunctional piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes