Breakup Jokes
58 breakup jokes and hilarious breakup puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about breakup that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Breakup Short Jokes
Short breakup jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The breakup humour may include short breakdown jokes also.
- I hate breakups. Especially when they try to let you down gently.
"It's not you, it's me" "I just need some space" "We can still be cousins". - "I know there is love in some corner of this world" said I after my breakup "the earth is round honey" exclaimed my mom from kitchen
- There may be no fish in the sea by 2050 according to some scientists. What will we tell people who have just gone through a breakup?
- Had to breakup with my girlfriend today... ...Couldn't be going out with someone with such bad taste in men.
- My on and off Lego girlfriend and I have been going strong for a while now.
But the last breakup we had, I was left alone to pick up the pieces. - During our breakup, my ex said that my ego was way too big But I think it's one of the things that makes me so great
- Dual Heart Attack Message By A Girl. 1st Message: Let's Breakup Now, Its All Over
2nd Message: Sorry-Sorry, That Was Not For You - Apparently the Brexit is inspiring other countries to hold their own referenda, and could lead to the breakup of the EU. Could this be The Final Countdown for Europe?
- Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving? It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.
- I'm not that big of a fan of Taylor Swift's break-up songs. Personally, I think we need to hear from all of her ex-boyfriends before we can pick a side.
Share These Breakup Jokes With Friends
Breakup One Liners
Which breakup one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with breakup? I can suggest the ones about splitting up and break up lines.
- Britain will be just fine... you always lose a few Pounds after a breakup.
- Why did the lizards breakup? Because he had ereptile dysfunction.
- Why should you never breakup with a goalie? Because he's a keeper.
- What does an AI do after a breakup? Machine Yearning
- Why do Bookworms breakup ? Because they are not on the same page.
- How does a Ham Radio buff send a break-up message? Remorse Code
- Pakistani breakup line Boy to Girl: It's not you, it's my goat !
- My first breakup was in grade two... She left me for the guy with a new pencil.
- What does the Earth do after a bad breakup? Gets drunk off its axis.
- Why did the square breakup with the circle? She wasn't edgy enough!
- How does a communist break-up It's not you, it's us.
- What hurts more than a breakup? Muscle cramps.
- How do you define a bad breakup? With respect to x.
- Did you hear about the LEGO girl's bad breakup? She was falling to pieces.
- Breakups are worst in China.... ... Wherever you go you see his/her face.
Hilarious Fun Breakup Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about breakup you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean divorce jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make breakup pranks.
What did the website say to the Google bot after their breakup?
I knew you'd come crawling back to me someday.
Taylor Swift's next album is going to be another break-up album.
It will be about her split with Spotify.
Breakup
My girlfriend told me she was breaking up with me over the phone yesterday, I don't know why I could hear her just fine on my side.
Just went through a rough breakup with my cross eyed girlfriend.
Turns out she was seeing someone else..
..but the real joke is I don't have a girlfriend.
What do Native Americanas Say after a Break-up
Bros Before Navajos...
I just had a breakup for being honest
GF: You know to day is Valentines Day right?
ME: mmm...yeah, so?
GF: Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous.
ME: Well, that explains why they've received flowers doesn't it?
If you want to breakup with someone but don't know how to do it..
Just put together some IKEA furniture and let it play out.
Dual Heart Attack Message By A Girl.
Dual Heart Attack Message By A Girl.
1st Message: Let's Breakup Now, Its All Over
2nd Message: Sorry-Sorry, That Was Not For You
Unsynced subtitles.
What hurts more than a breakup?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For men, having a bad breakup is like going through menopause.
It s**... until you realize you don't have anymore girl problems.
Why were Ancient Romans expected to date a crazy person in childhood but break-up with them before age 9?
Because at 9 one needs to be followed by an X.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a bar after a Break-up..
He asks for two shots. The bartender asks "What'll it be? Whisky or v**...?"
He replies
"Nine millimeter please."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why WW2 started
h**... had started WW2 after a breakup with his Polish girlfriend.
She didn't want to see him anymore, so h**... said,
"Well, I'm n**...'ing you anymore!"
Why wasn't the chef sad when he had a break-up?
Cause he always loves when bay-leaves.
What do you call a teenager going through a serious breakup
Adele-scent.
^^^Kill ^^^me
How do you deal with breakup?
By breaking down :(
Breakups are the best excuse.
Your friends want to go out to that restaurant you hate?
Just look sad and say: My girlfriend and I used to love going there...
Boom, nobody wants to go anymore. Pity works wonders.
Your boss asks you at stay late Friday night?
Look sad and say: My girlfriend and I used to do SQL database backups...
Boom, no work!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does the s**... say to his gf after a breakup?
I won't miss you.
The World Wildlife Fund has stated that if humans keep fishing at the current pace, there will be no more fish left in the oceans by 2048.
Which is going to make it really difficult to comfort someone who is going through a relationship break-up.
