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Breaking Bones Jokes

51 breaking bones jokes and hilarious breaking bones puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about breaking bones that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Breaking Bones Short Jokes

Short breaking bones jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The breaking bones humour may include short broken bones jokes also.

  1. Stick and stones may break my bones But words are triggering and require federal regulation.
  2. I used to believe that sticks and stones could break my bones, but words could never hurt me. But then I got smacked with a dictionary.
  3. Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
  4. People say sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you. Unless you live in Skyrim where words can kill you
  5. A tongue has no bones but it is strong enough to break a heart and.. is also strong enough to lift the pelvic bone.
  6. Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside...break their bones because they have 206 of them.
  7. I recently got into a heated argument with my German neighbour. I insulted him, to which he replied Sticks und stones may break my bones aber vurds can never hurt me! So I threw a sausage at him.
  8. Never break someone's heart. They only have one of them. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
  9. Payback My teacher's advice to me being bullied was, 'Sticks and stone may break my bones but word will never hurt me.'
    So I threw a dictionary at her.
  10. I used to believe in the saying 'Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me'. This was until I fell into a printing press last Wednesday l.

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Breaking Bones One Liners

Which breaking bones one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with breaking bones? I can suggest the ones about old bones and breaking bad.

  1. Where do you go when you break your funny bone? The Hahaspital.
  2. I love bone jokes It's always good to break one in public.
  3. Sticks and stones may break my bones. But drone strikes affect your education.
  4. Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
  5. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. AVADA KEDAVRA!
  6. Sticks and stones may break my bones And 20 Indian skulls apparently.
  7. Sticks and stones may break my bones... But words will never wuite describe the pain.
  8. Sticks and stones may break my bones...
  9. Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
  10. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
  11. Sticks and stones may break my bones, But saying mean things hertz
  12. How do you make a clown sad? You break his funny bone.

Breaking Bones Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about breaking bones you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bones jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make breaking bones pranks.

Princess Diana Jokes

What's the difference between Princess Diana and a blade of grass? About six feet.
How is Princess Diana like a mobile phone? Both die in tunnels.
Where does Diana stay when she visits Paris? Any place she can c**....
How is Princess Diana like breaking a bone? Both need a doctor to remove the plaster of paris.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and thirty-nine pennies? It's easier to scrape together thirty-nine pennies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's the difference between Princess Diana an Casper the ghost? Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.
What would Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
Yes I am a horrible person wow.

There once was an old mystic

He was too poor to afford shoes, so he often had sores on his feet, and since he was old, he could easily break his bones if he was not careful. He also had a very bad diet, so his breath smelt terrible.
I guess you could say he was a....
**Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed with Halitosis**

A man tries to rob a record store...

... by stealing many valuable vinyls. However, a sharp-eyed-shopper caught him in the act. He shouted out, "Hey! This guy's trying to shoplift!" to the rest of the store. The thief tried to run away, but the shopper grabbed a record and threw it at the man, knocking him over. Several other shoppers noticed, and joined in on the act, ransacking the *Hard Rock* section for vinyls to throw at the thief, beating and bruising him all over with their throws.
Eventually, the mob ran out of vinyls to throw from the *Hard Rock* section. So, they went over the neighboring section, *Folk Rock*, and grabbed even more records to throw at the thief. However, to their astonishment, the records had no effect. The discs bounced off the man like he was invulnerable to them. Astounded, the sharp-eyed shopper asked, "How are you not getting hurt?"
The thief replied, "Styx and the Stones may break my bones, but Byrds will never hurt me."

Suspended

Boy: Dad, I got suspended from school today.
Dad: WHAT?!?! WHY?!
Boy: A kid said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
Dad: So?
Boy: So I threw a dictionary at him.
Dad: That's my boy.

Old monk

There once was a very old monk that tended to break his bones when he fell down. He always walked barefooted everywhere he went so his feet were more callouses than soft skin. No one talked to him very long because his breath was so bad it could wilt flowers. They called him Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-cursed-with-halitosis

What happen when you pull a muscle?

You start tendon to it.
Now, don't go breaking any bones, even though I know you are cracking up at this.

Did you hear the one about the young bone specialist?

He just opened his office and only needed a good break to get started.

A chemist, physicist, and engineer found a human thigh bone.

All three of them were cannibals.
The chemist licked it, and tried to put it into water to dissolve it.
The physicist tried to break it open to get at the marrow.
The engineer took the bone, hit the other two over the head, and ate them.

Styx and The Rolling Stones

I think Styx and The Rolling Stones should've toured together
They could've called it the Break Your Bones Tour

Kirk breaks his arm and goes to see Doctor McCoy.

McCoy starts to s**... and says, "Well James, you may not be laughing on the outside, but on the inside you're cracking up!"
"Funny, Bones", replies Kirk with a smirk.
"Actually James", says McCoy, checking Kirk's arm, "your humerus!"

My friend said "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

So I threw a dictionary at his face.

A teacher once told me...

True story:
Remember that 'Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me' b**...??
Well, in Year 4, I heard my teacher say this to another classmate. I raised my hand and said 'Miss, I don't think that's right.'
My teacher asked me why I thought so. So, I threw a dictionary at her.

I always used to believe that sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me...

Then I fell into a printing press.

Whoever said "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" hasn't had a book thrown at them.

Bullying

A lady came to school today and told us bullying is bad. She then said Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt my. So I threw a dictionary at her.

Sticks and stones can break my bones

But words can be made into legislation and ruin lives

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"

Nine out of ten police officers disagree with this statement.