Break Up Lines Jokes

24 break up lines jokes and hilarious break up lines puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about break up lines that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Break Up Lines Short Jokes

Short break up lines jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The break up lines humour may include short breakup jokes also.

  1. Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line) Enough to break the ice, how's it going?
  2. How do you end a prayer to the noodle God? Ramen.
  3. I was surprised to learn that stepping on a crack really breaks your mama's back and stepping on a line really breaks your father spine Unfortunately for me, my sister just stepped on a rock
  4. "Did you know that Linkin Park is the best band to listen to while waiting in line to meet U2?" Because I'm one step closer to the Edge, and I'm about to break.
  5. Years of trying to break into acting and I have been finally cast as a drug dealer, It's just a shame I only have one line
  6. A Karate master teaches his students how to break a piece of wood He points his finger to the center of the board and tells his students, "This is the punch line"

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Break Up Lines One Liners

Which break up lines one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with break up lines? I can suggest the ones about chat up line and two line.

  1. Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart" I couldn't if I tried.
  2. (cheesy pickup line) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice
  3. I just found out my on-line girlfriend has a wooden leg. should I break it off?
  4. F**c**... cheesy chat-up lines, we need better break-up lines: Anyone got some c**...?

Break Up Lines joke, F**c**... cheesy chat-up lines, we need better break-up lines:

Hilarious Break Up Lines Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about break up lines you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean comedian lines jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make break up lines pranks.

The engineer and the mathematician

A mathematician and an engineer are at a bar when the most beautiful woman either of them has ever seen approaches them.
She takes them to a football field and tells them, "I'm going to stand on the far goal line, and you'll stand on this one. Whichever of you reaches me first can do whatever you want to me."
"There are two rules, however. Your first move can only be to the fifty yard line, and each move following can only be half the distance of the previous."
The woman walks to the far side to the far goal line, and the race begins.
The mathematician, upon seeing her reach the goal line, breaks down in tears, because he knows that he can never make it to the far goal.
The engineer takes off immediately. He knows he can never reach her, but he can certainly get close enough for all practical purposes.

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are sitting together on a train...

The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the curtains in the rail car and says "let's just pretend the train is moving."
After sitting in the dark for a while, Gorbachev breaks the silence and says "Hey, any of you guys wanna pick up some McDonalds?"

My daughter was playing hopscotch by herself...

So my daughter was playing hopscotch, and recited the words "*Step on a crack, and break your mother's back"
And then my wife's back bent over, I then shouted at her to stop playing, but she continued and then recited "*Step on a line and break your father's spine*"
And then the neighbor next door shouted in agony with his back bent.

I've been having trouble meeting girls, so I asked my dad for some advice. He said that if I wanted to break the ice, the next time I go out, I should use this pickup line...

"Ford F-150, Chevy Silverado, Dodge Ram, Toyota Tundra, Nissan Titan, GMC Sierra, Honda Ridgeline..."

A burglar breaks into a joint

While going through the owner's belongings a shrill voices goes:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Slightly irritated, the burglar switches on the light and sees a parrot in the corner, repeating its line:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Burglar: "Hahaha! Look at you, what's your name?"
Parrot: "Jared Leto"
Burglar: "That's an odd name for a parrot. Who would name their parrot 'Jared-Leto'?
Parrot: "The same person who would name his rottweiler 'Heavenly Father'!
*First Cake day joke!

A man returns to work sporting a black eye after lunch

His coworker asked him if he got in a fight during his lunch break, and he says no, he was randomly punched by a guy after he asked him which food line he was standing in. The coworker asks if this happened in the line for the ramen shop, but he shakes his head and replies, "No, pho queue."

Betty was away from home on a business trip, and on a break between meetings decided to call home collect... her husband was outside changing the oil on his car, her 6 year old son Bobby picked up the phone.
Putting his ear to the receiver, he heard a man say: *"We have a Betty on the line, will you except the charges?"*
Terrified, Bobby ran outside screaming:

There is a jiu jitsu competition to see who can break the largest board with their fist. The judge asks all competitors to stand behind the first contestant, but no one listens.

There is no punch line.

Super fast Nano

A tata nano breaks down on a roadside. A BMW 750Li stops to help the driver.
"I will tow you to the next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash your lights."
They start up slowly but only a km or so down the line a Porsche speeds pas 150km/hour.
The BMW driver totally forgets about the Nano and guns it after the Porsche.
Just as all 3 of them tear through a speed trap, the cop radios the HQ," calling all stations: you won't believe this, I just saw a BMW and a Porsche racing past about 190km/hour with a Nano behind them flashing its lights to overtake."
(Nano is the cheapest car)

Yesterday while working I saw a gigantic f**... precession...

There were two hearses, followed by a man walking a dog, followed by hundreds of men.
I take a break from work and say to the man walking the dog " excuse me sir, I don't mean to be rude but do you mind telling me what happened?"
The man replies:
"A couple of weeks ago I bought this dog for my wife. Last week it turned on her and killed her. During the attack my mother in law tried to pull the dog off of her daughter and ended up dying as well"
I say : " sir can I borrow you dog?"
He replies : "Get in line "

Break Up Lines joke, Yesterday while working I saw a gigantic f**... precession...