Following is our collection of funny Break Up jokes. There are some break up broken jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these break up shatter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
On the condition he gets to install windows.
Denial.
Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.
When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
Space x.
To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.
i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home
apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry
So I said well…probably better tell him pretty slowly, so the little dumbass will get it."
The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn't even finished coloring the second one
A startled, naked, man comes out of the bathroom, sees what's happening and says, "Please, please, take whatever you want, I will even give you the combination to my safe. Just, please, untie her and let her go."
The thieves were surprised by how heartfelt the pleas from the man were. One of them says, "Wow, you must really love your wife in order to beg like that."
The man replies, "I do, and she will be home any minute!"
The husband goes to his wife and asks her, Honey, I noticed that Billy looks different from the other children, did you have an affair?
The wife starts to break down into tears and nods her head.
The husband, heartbroken, quietly asks his wife, So who is Billy's father?
You.
You can explore break up broke reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean break up shatters dad jokes. There are also break up puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Whoops wrong sub
I just have to figure out how to break the news to her
St. Peter is waiting, judging him.
They stand in silence when Hitler breaks it:" St. Peter, where am I?"
"Hell, Hitler." he responds.
"Ya, ya, Heil Hitler, but where am I?".
She said "Yes!". I said "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."
Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a 10 minute break in between for snacks. Then I'd stare at you for another 5-10 minutes thinking, "Wow, I really hope I don't screw this up."
Despite not having insurance, he left the hospital without any financially crippling debt that would haunt him for the rest of his life and compromise his future savings.
"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."
The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.
"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.
I bought a bottle of Rum and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave I thought for a moment. If I fall off the bicycle, the bottle might break.
To avoid that, I drank all of the rum before I left the store.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on my way home
but only for like 20 seconds...
... olive skin, green eyes, snakes for hair.
But I had to break it off with her because she was constantly objectifying me.
...'cause I fell 7 times on the way home...
You see her face everywhere.
But the wife had to break it to me that it was actually for "dyslexia".
You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.
They're great at separating independent Clauses.
This is starting to look like the Wurst Käse scenario.
If you ask me, it's about time!
He puts his money on the bedside table and says I've been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.
She makes him strip and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom.
Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts.
She runs her whip over his flesh and, as he wriggles in anticipation, the bed posts break and his arms come free.
Don't worry, I can fix this he says, as he runs out to his car. He returns in a few minutes with some tools and gets to work.
In a few minutes the bedposts are fixed.
He looks admiringly at his handiwork and beams.
Good as new, mistress!
She says This sub really loves reposts.
Break a condom, your bad luck will probably outlive you.
I guess they didn't work out.
He got fired for sleeping on the job.
So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the break up set jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working break up hold piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.