JokoJokes

Break The Silence Jokes

26 break the silence jokes and hilarious break the silence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about break the silence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Break The Silence Jokes

Short break the silence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The break the silence humour may include short silence jokes also.

  1. Why is Bill Cosby not breaking his silence? He is waiting until the allegations are 5 minutes apart!

Quick Jump To


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about break the silence can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of break the silence puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share These Break The Silence Jokes With Friends



Break The Silence Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about break the silence you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean dead silence jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make break the silence prank.

h**... dies and goes in front of a h**... gate...

St. Peter is waiting, judging him.
They stand in silence when h**... breaks it:" St. Peter, where am I?"
"h**..., h**...." he responds.
"Ya, ya, Heil h**..., but where am I?".

A large group of Russian soldiers...

A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russians."
Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians!"
The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought.... Then silence.
Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander,
"Don't send any more men......it's a trap. There are two of them."

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are sitting together on a train...

The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the curtains in the rail car and says "let's just pretend the train is moving."
After sitting in the dark for a while, Gorbachev breaks the silence and says "Hey, any of you guys wanna pick up some McDonalds?"

Sounds of Silence

Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break, about being out late the night before. The first man signed," My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble."
The second deaf man signed back, "You're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me h**... for being out so late." The first deaf man asked, " So what did you do?"
"I turned out the light," the second man signed.

Make a sentence with Defence, Defeat and Detail...

Little Johnny was back from his summer break where he'd toured the Italian countryside.
The language teacher wanting to spur grey matter in the classroom asked the children to make a sentence with defence, defeat and detail.
After a few minutes of silence Little Johnny raised his hand and hesitantly spoke:
"Well... de horse jumped over de fence and de feet got tangled in de tail..."

A mother and son were washing dishes while...

...the father and daughter were watching TV in the family room.
Suddenly, there was a c**... of breaking dishes, then complete silence.
The girl looked at her dad and said, "It was Mom."
"How do you know?"
"She didn't say anything."

A guy I work with was late for our meeting, so I asked what happened.

He said, My wife and I aren't talking to each other. We're giving each other the silent treatment, and I didn't want to be the first one to break the silence and lose. So I wrote a note on a piece of paper: 'Please wake me up at 7:30am.'
Well, I didn't wake up until 9:30am. Boy, was I mad that my wife didn't wake me up. Then I noticed a piece of paper on my pillow that said: 'It's 7:30am. Wake up.'

A Norwegian fisherman came in to a bar...

A Norwegian fisherman came in to a bar, after a couple of beers he walked up to a lady and asked; "whats up?"
The lady, obviously not interested, said; " I'm a lesbian"
"what the h**... is that?" He said.
"Well," she said; "i prefer having s**... with women and drink beer".
The man went quiet, lost in thought with a confused look in his eyes.
After a minute she had to break the silence; "so, whats up with you?"
The man looked at her; "I thought I was a fisherman, but now i wonder if I'm actually a lesbian."

Meeting the Parents

A teenage boy is taken to his girlfriend's home to meet her parents for the first time. The mother hands him a piece of cake. They all sit there in silence wondering what to say, when the family dog walks in, sits down, and proceeds to lick its t**.... To break the ice, the boy looks at the girl's father and says, "I wish I could do that!"
The father looks at the boy and says, "Give it a piece of your cake, and it might let you!"

The other day I went to get my eyes tested.

I am quite an anxious person and thought I would try to crack a joke to break the awkward silence.
'Would you like to hear a joke?' I asked
The optometrist replied 'Sure! The cornea the better.'

Semper Fi, Motherf*****

A Taliban division is patrolling the desert when, over a nearby dune, they hear a voice call out "One Marine is worth 10 Taliban." The Taliban commander sends 10 of his men over the dune, and a gun battle ensues, then silence.
Then the voice laughs and says "One marine is tougher than 100 Taliban." Angered, the commander sends 100 of his troops over the dune. A fierce gun battle breaks out, then silence.
Then the voice once again calls out: "The Taliban are wimps. One Marine can smash 1000 of you cowards!" Enraged, the commander sends 1000 of his best men over the dune. Bullets are flying everywhere, grenades exploding left and right, and then silence again.
Then, through the smoke, one badly wounded Taliban soldier crawls back over the dune. He looks at his commander and says "Don't send any more men, it's a trap. There are actually TWO of them!"

Every ten years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, “Food bad.” Ten years later, he says, “Bed hard.” It’s the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.” “I’m not surprised,” the head monk says. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.”

Every ten years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, “Food bad.” Ten years later, he says, “Bed hard.” It’s the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.” “I’m not surprised,” the head monk says. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.”

Women are just too clever

A man an his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him up at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, the man wrote on a piece of paper, " please wake me up at 5:00 am", and put it where his wife could see it.
The next morning he woke up only to find that it was 9:00 am, and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go see why his wife hadn't waken him up when he found a paper next to the bed.
It said, " its 5:00 am, wake up"

funny husband and wife playing silent .......

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am." The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up.

A Father and his Son are driving down a foggy road in the early morning.

The son says to his father, Wow, Dad. This is a lot of fog! To which the dad then responds It sure is son! The two drive down the road about a mile or so and finally reach a stoplight. To break the silence, the father says while chuckling. You know Son, when I die I hope I turn into a horrible fog, just like this one. Confused, the son asks Well why would you want that? To which the Dad replies, still laughing. So I won't be mist!

Nixon's disease

The First Lady starts having trouble in her lady areas, so she visits the gynecologist.
The gynecologist takes her into the exam room and asks her what she's having trouble with, and she notes an itching sensation.
So the doctor looks under a magnifying loupe and sees that she has a case of the c**....
Now he just has to break the news to her.
"Oh, God. How on earth am I gonna tell the First Lady she has c**...?"
He thinks.
So, after a minute or so of awkward silence, the doctor sighs and says
"I'm very sorry ma'am, but you appear to be suffering from nixon's disease"
"What's that?" She asks
"Well, you have bugs in your Oval Office".

The silent treatment

A husband and wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM, love you." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up. Love you more."

Silent Treatment [Long]

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am".
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said...
It is 5:00am, wake up.

CATHOLIC COFFEE BREAK

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, and everyone calls him '*Father*'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him '*Your Grace*'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says '*Your Eminence*'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him '*Your Holiness*'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."

Prison jokes

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.
The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."
So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number six!" There was dead silence in the cell block. He asks the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?"
"Well," said the older man, "you messed up the punchline."

The CIA was recruiting a new hitman...[Adult]

... and had 3 preferencial candidates, a french guy, a british guy and a portuguese guy.
They all had the same final test, which was to kill their wives with a handgun.
First one was the french. He immediatly refused, saying he could never kill his beloved wife.
Next was the british guy. He paced around inside the room his wife was, but after 10 minutes he handed back the gun, all teary eyed, saying he could not do it.
Last one was the portuguese guy. He went into the room and as soon as the door closed, they heard 3 shots. After that they heard a lot of noise, like cursing, stuff breaking, yelling and after a couple of minutes, complete silence.
The portuguese guy came out, visibly tired and said:
"You guys could have told me the gun had blanks. I had to beat her to death."

A panda walks into a bar

and orders a bowl of beer nuts from the bartender. After finishing his meal, the panda whips out an enormous .45 Magnum and lets off six rounds into the ceiling.
!BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!
As soon as the report of the last round had finished echoing around the bar, the panda rose from his stool. He looks around the bar, then hops onto all-fours and hobbles out of the building.
The other patrons of the bar were paralyzed with fear, even after the assailant had left. Finally, breaking the silence, the bartender pulls out a dictionary, flips open to a page, and puts the book on the bar.
"Here," he says, and invites the others to come have a look.
_____
pan-da, *noun* \ˈpan-də\
:Eats chutes and leaves.

An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink.

As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

A guy buys his first motorcycle.
The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting.
A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house.
Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.
After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break.
After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up.
He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family.
No one says a word.
Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has s**... with her.
Silence.
Desperate, he grabs her mother and has s**... with her on the table.
Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance.
The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket.
"OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these break the silence jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.