Bread Baker Jokes
90 bread baker jokes and hilarious bread baker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bread baker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bread Baker Short Jokes
Short bread baker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bread baker humour may include short baker jokes also.
- Matthew McConaughey walks into a bakery... Matthew: "Can I get three loaves of bread please?"
Baker: "What type do you want sir?"
Matthew: "All rye, all rye, all rye." - A guy walks into a bakery He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "baguette however you want".
- Two bakers were trying to have a talk about leavened Indian breads... The topic was a naan-starter.
- Guy walks into a bakery and sees a green loaf of bread and asks the baker how he made it Baker says "Avocadough"
- What did the Italian baker say when a customer left her bread on the counter? Hey, you focaccia bread!
- I asked my local baker for her amazing bread recipe. She said it's on a knead to dough basis.
- I once asked an affluent French baker how he'd managed to make so much money making bread. His answer: Success baguettes success.
- A baker bakes 73,247 baguettes in a year and sells each for $2.73. What does he make? Bread.
- I met this really short man called Peter the other day. He's a baker and he was telling me all about baking flat breads.
It was fascinating.
I love to hear the pitta patter of tiny Pete. - Did you know communist countries have the best bakers in the world? People will line up for miles just to get a slice of their bread.
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Bread Baker One Liners
Which bread baker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bread baker? I can suggest the ones about baking bread and bread dough.
- What do you call a red-haired baker? The ginger bread man
- How does a baker in Alabama describe his occupation? I'm in bread.
- Why did the baker take a 24 hour break from baking bread? It was his cake day!
- Why did the baker bake more bread? Because he was needing dough.
- What is a baker's favorite type of dog? Pure Bread Dough-bermann.
- Bakers trade bread recipes... on a knead-to-know basis.
- Did you hear about the baker with a bread addiction? He kneads it every day.
- Why was the Indian baker not concerned about his bread? It was a naan issue
- What do two sibling bakers create at night? In-bread.
- I asked the French baker what he makes? He said Croissants are my bread and butter.
- What did the sad baker say when his bread was complimented? Thanks, I kneaded that.
- What's a baker's favorite video game? Red Bread Ryedemption
- A baker gets home from work. He then says "Time to go to bread".
- I understand why bakers are addicted to baking bread. Sometimes they just knead it.
- Did you hear about the baker that failed at making white bread? It went a rye.
Bread Baker Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bread baker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bread roll jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bread baker pranks.
A baker's gotta work-
to put bread on the table.
Raisin Bread
A baker hires a young female assistant who likes to wear very short skirts and a thong. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the assistant and then at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says politely. The girl nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man, standing almost directly beneath her, gets an excellent view just as he planned. Once she comes down he says he should get two loaves, as he is having company for dinner. As the girl retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread, just to see her climb up and down. After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try the bread herself. Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd, staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man: "Is it raisin for you, too?" "No," stammers the old man: "but it's quivering a bit!"
What do you call a baker who doesn't make bread?
I don't dough!
Did you hear about the baker that made pickle flavored bread?
He used dill dough!
Why did the German baker claim on his insurance at Christmas?
Because his bread was stollen!!!
You might think an Indian baker is having problem with his bread
But to him it's a naan-issue.
Why was the bakers bread so expensive?
He needed the dough.
Did you hear about the baker who always fantasized about being a king?
He walked into his bread oven room and said, "All rise."
What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend?
I just need some bread
The baker wouldn't finish telling me how he makes bread.
He said that information was on a knead-to-know basis.
why did the best baker not make bread?
because they had nothing to prove.
What do you call an Irish baker?
A ginger bread man.
What's the difference between a baker and an elephant?
One bakes the bread and the other breaks the bed.
Bakers have a weird way of trading bread recipes.
Its done on a knead to know basis. Gotta get the dough somehow
Here's the thing about r**... bakers:
..they're always interested in bread....
What does a successful baker need the most?
Bread!
Broke and starving, Bill & Ted walks up to a bakery.
Bill: "Look..I stole 3 pieces of bread, placed them in my pocket and the baker didn't even notice. It's like magic!
Ted: "You want to see real magic? Watch this."
Ted approaches the baker: "Excuse me, sir. Would you like to see a magic trick? Let me eat 3 pieces of your bread then watch me bring them back." "Sure. Let's see it" replied the Baker.
So, Ted heartily eats 3 pieces of bread. Baker:"Ok..you said you were gonna bring my bread back. Where are they?"
Ted: "See my friend over here? Check his pocket. Your 3 pieces of bread are in there."
Once upon a time there was a man who pretended to be a baker...
he had no bread dough
Why did the baker go to jail?
Assault with a bread-ly weapon
Why does the baker not tell people the recipe to his bread?
The recipe is only given on a knead-to-know basis
What did the pigeon say to the baker who stopped feeding his family bread in the morning?
Coup coup!
The baker started putting pickles in his bread.
When I asked why he said his wife wanted a dill-dough.
I want to be a baker
My great grandfather was a baker, my grandfather was a baker and my dad was a baker.
I was bread for this.
A baker once gave me the secret to dill flavoured bread
"You really gotta knead that dill dough"
My dad is a baker and he said Go to bread!
A guy was in a bakery and accidentally pushed open the door to the back room.
To his surprise, he saw one of the bakers lying down n**... on a counter, kneading bread dough on his chest. The guy turned and said to another baker, "That's the oddest thing I have ever seen." The baker replied, "You should see him make the doughnuts!"
If a baker had a cut on his hand and made some bread.....
Could he get a yeast infection?
My local baker has reported to the police that someone is stealing his bread dough...
The police have said they can't really help - there's no way to prove it.
An Indian baker was making a big deal about his bread...
...turns out it was a na'an issue.
What do you call a baker in a runaway bread delivery van?
On a roll.
The Baker
A Baker specializing in making Rye bread is disheartened. He works long hours and while his wages are decent, they are nothing special. He wants to strike it rich and make something of himself.
He hears that a lot of money can be make for trapping in the Canadian wilderness so he sells his bakery and moves to Canada to fulfill his dreams.
Unfortunately it doesn't go as planned. He is making even less money than before. After a while he fears he will not have enough money to feed himself.
He goes to a bar to drown his sorrows, and explains this all to a man at the bar. The Baker asks him what he should do.
I he man says, "if at furs you don't succeed, try rye again."
What did the baker say to the frenchman?
Bread is a pain!
I have always been a gifted baker, some find it hard to make bread but personally, I think that...
...It's a dough brainer
Did you hear about the baker who was trapped by genetics
He was in-bread.
A local Indian baker told me he thinks, lives, and breathes bread.
I told him that sounds like a bunch of Naan sense
Why don't more bakers make dill bread?
Because that woild require them to play with more dill dough.
Edward the baker, who died in his sleep, passed on his business to his son.
It was said that Ed, dead in his bed, led to Ted being head of the bread.
What does a blind baker make bread with?
Where-they-at-dough
A customer walks into a bakery and orders a loaf of bread. As the baker wraps the loaf, the customer says, "You know, I bake my own bread at home, but they come out dense."
The baker looks up suspiciously and says, "Yeah, prove it."
My local Baker says he can bake 20 loaves of bread in one hour with one small oven...
I said prove it.
A man with e**... problem go to the doctor
The doctor says:"in order to solve your problem you have to eat a lot of bread.
The man says:" how the bread can help me?!? ".
The doctor says:" trust me and eat a lot of bread.
The same day the man went to buy the bread in a trust shop and asks for 3kg of bread.
The baker knows that the man lives alone and asks:" 3kg seem too much, it will become hard."
The man exclaimed:" Hard, give me 6kg!!"
A blind man walks into the bakery
A blind man walks into the bakery and asks for 8 poppy seed breads. While the baker gathers them for him, he asks: are you expecting any visitors? No, replies the blind man. But I'm going on vacation, and they have such lovely story's written on them!
Baking
Did you hear about the baker who tried to bake bread with out yeast?
..He got naan
While at the bakery, I couldn't figure out why this one loaf of bread was so much more expensive than the others...
...I asked the baker and he said, "Because that one is pure bread."
Did you hear about the French baker who fell into the bread mixer and no one noticed?
He's in quite a lot of pain.
I went to a comedy bakery the other day...
The baker didn't loaf at his own jokes.
It was a bread pan delivery.
At my first job as an apprentice baker...
...my boss was constantly rushing me, and I thought it negatively affected the quality of the bread we were putting on the shelves. I always suspected that if we just had a little bit of time between shaping the dough and putting it into the oven, the resulting loaf would be so much better.
But I could never prove it.
Since we're doing translations, here's one from Mexico:
On the first day back from summer vacation, the teacher asked the students what they did over the summer and if they got any nicknames.
Juan goes first: "I spent my summer working with my dad laying bricks!"
Teacher: "did you have a nickname?
Juan: "Yes, the brick mason's son"
Maria goes next: "I spent the summer baking bread with my dad and they called me the baker's daughter"
The teacher calls on Pepito, who seemed to be day dreaming in the corner.
Pepito: "Well, I spent my summer climbing on the roof and throwing rocks at whoever passed by."
Teacher: "Oh, I see. Did you have a nickname?
Pepito: "Yeah, it was 'GET DOWN HERE YOU SON OF A b**...!'"
I asked my local baker the secret to making two loaves of bread at once...
He said "It's a knead two dough basis..."
A man walks into a bakery
and orders 99 loaves of bread. Dumbfounded the baker asks:"Why don't you just buy 100?", to which the man replies: Who could eat that many loaves of bread?