Brave Jokes
82 brave jokes and hilarious brave puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brave that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you want to know what it takes to be brave? Read this article to find out more about brave jokes. Learn what it means to be a fearless, brave warrior and the humorous way in which most will express their courageous spirit. Enjoy a collection of jokes about battles, spears, and all other aspects of not being the "brave" man. Laughter is a powerful weapon, so take a look at these brave heart jokes.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Brave Short Jokes
Short brave jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brave humour may include short courage jokes also.
- My girlfriend just accused me of being too childish, walked out, and slammed the door. It was pretty brave of her... ...considering the floor was lava.
- I picked up a hitchhiker the other day. He said "you're brave, how do you know I'm not a serial killer?" I said "the chances of two serial killers being in the same car is astronomical"
- Why did the coward suddenly feel brave after touching a big rock? Because he felt a little boulder.
- My Grandfather once told me about how he fought bravely in World War II, so I asked him how many years he served for the U.S. He replied "Nein."
- Did you know that, during the first game of the 1936 baseball season, the Boston Braves managed to win while also badly injuring six players on the opposing team? They were truly ruthless.
- How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."
- My friend ate his own arm and now he's bragging about how brave he is... He's so full of himself.
- I'm not brave enough to go on a real safari, so I decided to be an Internet Explorer instead. Sadly even that was too Edge-y for me!
- My grandfather was such a brave man. Even while dying for want of a blood transfusion when nobody knew his blood type with his last few words he kept telling us all to be positive.
- 18th Century Arms Dealer Receives Concussion on First Day at Work A burgeoning blunderbuss broker braved and bore the brunt of a bludgeoning to the brain.
Share These Brave Jokes With Friends
Brave One Liners
Which brave one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brave? I can suggest the ones about daring and brilliant.
- What do you call a brave disabled kid? Cerebral-Ballsy
- Which one is more brave, a stone or a stump? A stone, because it's a little boulder.
- I had a genetic test done... I learned brave men run in my family
- Everyone is brave until the roach starts flying
- Who is brave enough to find new friends while facing a gun? Jessica Fletcher
- Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're brave enough.
- What do you call a cow that isn't brave? A COWard(sorry)
- I am so brave I can see the lava boiling in Hawaii from 2 inches away On YouTube!
- My brave uncle died on September 11, 2001 He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia
- What is Greece's favourite game? Bravely Default
- What do Jesus, Gandhi and mel gibson all have in common? They all had a brave-heart.
- Q: Who is brave?
A: He who has diarrhea and wants to f**...! - n**... Did you hear about the gay native American? He was a brave s**...
- If you are strong, brave, smart and very s**..., go home. You're drunk.
- The Indians, Braves, and r**... lost yesterday. Yesterday was Columbus Day.
Brave Man Jokes
Here is a list of funny brave man jokes and even better brave man puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I didn't say he got out. Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out. - Beyoncé to write thank-you letter to brave young man who stood up for her against the patriarchy.
Brave New World Jokes
Here is a list of funny brave new world jokes and even better brave new world puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- With both Trump and m**... winning, we wont have worry about living in 1984 We can settle with a Brave New World.
Entertaining Brave Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about brave you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brute jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brave pranks.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that s**... was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my keybakwue hr<awjd <akreu<an<awlkuhnc<a kjdqw;eoim
The ladder to success
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess".
The Bank Robber
A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face.
The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"
There were a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then one old man tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."
(credit to wetwillyone)
Reading the horoscope.
Reading the horoscope that her favorite female magazine publishes, a lady said in a sorry tone to her husband:
- Oh! This is s**...! This is s**...!
- What is it?
- If you were born only a day earlier, you would be intelligent, brave and passionate.
I think the Tuskegee Airmen were incredibly brave...
...not only were they fighter pilots, they all had s**...!
At the dentist
The wife says, -I have to get a tooth pulled and I have no time for any anesthesia. Just pull the tooth out as quickly as you can so we can get going!
The dentist was really impressed, -You are indeed a brave woman! Which tooth is to be removed?
She turned to her old man, -Show him your tooth, dear!
A Cowboy and an Indian
A grizzled old Cowboy and his Indian brave partner are tracking an infamous gang of buffalo rustlers through the wild west. The Cowboy stops and exhales gruffly, thinking they've lost the bandits' trail. The Indian holds up a finger to the wind. Then leans down as if listening to the earth.
He puts his ear to the ground and says "Buffalo come".
"Sheeit how dya you know that?" says the Cowboy.
The Indian brave replies, "Ear Sticky".
There are 11 blondes...
hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will c**.... So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.
After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......
Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.
A Brave Husband.
A husband and wife entered the dentist's office.
The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible. "
"You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is. "
The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear. "
hear about the gay indian?
he's a brave s**.......
Young woman...
There was a young lady from Exeter,
So lovely the men all craned their necks at 'er.
But only one was so brave as to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his s**... at 'er.
The Parachuteless Dave
Michael: Dave is so brave! He jumped out of a plane without a parachute!
John: Ohh is it true? Where did you get the news?
Michael: From his f**....
Some people may be brave enough to try to get into the milk business.
Me? I wouldn't dairy.
I was in a second hand shop.
"I was wondering if you had any condoms?" I asked the owner.
"Don't be ridiculous," he remarked, "Of course not."
I said, "You're a brave guy, I like your style."
Yes, very brave
I went to the dentist to have a tooth removed, as I was in a rush I said, 'Look I don't want any anesthetic, no laughing gas, I just want you to remove the tooth as quickly as possible'. 'That's very brave of you sir', said the dentist. 'Now which tooth is it?'. I turned to my wife and said, 'Go on honey tell him which tooth'
.
Being a feminist is like practicing extreme sports
Not taking good care of yourself and then bragging about how brave you are.
What is the bravest o**...?
The *gall*-bladder.
My friend was so brave, he jumped on a flying plane without a parachute.
i know because everyone was talking about it during his f**....
What is bravery?
Bravery is when you have a diarrhea and are trying to f**....
Hats off to those people brave enough to wear those silly New Years hats at work.
No... I meant take your hats off. You look s**....
Police: Come out with your hands up!
Police: Come out with your hands up!
Me: I'm gay.
Police: So brave...
Ten horses walk out of a bar. They see another horse getting mugged by a big scary dude in an alleyway. The horses are unsure if they should intervene. One brave horse says, "Let's put it to a vote! If you want to help him, say aye!"
They don't help him.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?
Twelve. 1 to change the lightbulb, and 11 to say "Aw, he's so brave".
A village of mathematical functions is slumbering
when suddenly the alarm bells ring:
a rogue differential operator has been sighted.
Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!
The differential operator calmly replies: but I am d over dt, and proceeds to s**... the poor exponential.
Why is there so much litter in prisons
Because nobody is brave enough to bend over and pick it up
I'm a great American for three reasons
Because I'm:
Brave
Patriotic
Humble
And great at math
We make fun of the French for being cowards, but they're actually quite brave and fearless
I mean, they are the ones who discovered that you can eat snails
A lot of people say that Julius Caesar's invasion of France was "brave".
I have to agree, but it took a lot of Gaul.
We lost a brave soldier today, died from a fatal wound to the aorta...
But he did not die in vein.
I don't support h**...
I support the brave soul who killed him
Parapsychologists
I just want to take this moment to give a shout out to parapsychologists, the only folks brave enough to jump out of airplanes to provide emergency counseling.
My deaf-mute postman has such a tough job. He starts work at 3am. In summer he gets attacked by dogs and in winter he has to brave through sub-zero temperatures. But in spite of all this....
I've never heard him complain
One Time Long Ago, Way Back In Medieval Times...
There was a brave knight named Sir Finley who fought everything the king commissioned him to. One day, a dragon terrorized a nearby village, scaring the kingdom. Sir Finley was sent of to slay this terrible dragon. Once he got there, the dragon's tail knocked him off balance. Sir Finley fell to the dragon, and the dragon cut off his feet first when starting to cook.
Sir Finley was de-feet-ed.
A hospital director catches up with a patient running bare foot from the building
Why did escape from the operating room? said the director
Because the nurse was saying: " it's ok be brave, it's just appendicitis it's a simple operation..."
So what? she was just trying to reassure you...
She was talking to the surgeon!
What do the brave men, and women who protect our towns and cities have in common with some very small bugs that get stuck in Edgar Allan Poe's hair have in common?
They're both Po-Lice.
* my wife kicked me out of the car shortly after telling you this joke. Crazy part about it is I was driving at the time.
A friend told me they saw a blind person abseil down a skyscraper.
I thought "Wow, that must have been one brave golden retriever."
The bravest men and women in the world are military commandos.
Think about it: all that running, getting shot at, dangerous missions deep into enemy territory... and all while not wearing any underpants!
Women are finally being allowed to join the SAS!
About time as well, there's no way those brave lads should be cooking their own meals.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
I ran into my bedroom and yelled at my wife "Give me a**... or give me freedom!"
She said I was brave.
I can't believe I was brave enough to skip taking my blood pressure medication.
Doing that is not for the faint of heart!
A man walks in a bar and shouts free beers outside! So everyone in the bar, except the bartender, ran outside in excitement.
The bartender, visibly angry, yells at the man what the h**... did you do that for? Now i have no customers!!
The man says Sorry mister, i honestly didnt fink any of those men would be brave enough to fight a grizzly beer, let alone free of them
A group of Native Americans are sitting around a campfire
A young brave asks the others, "When will I be given a name?"
"When you distinguish yourself in the tribe," answers Thundering Buffalo.
"Then the elders will recognize you with a name," says Rides By Moonlight.
"It is the proudest moment of a young brave's life," says Silent Wolf.
"Eh, it's overrated," says s**... In Breechcloth.
World War 2 joke
Sometime around 1943, when the Germans were losing the war, h**... decided to boost his army's morale by visiting the front.
While there, he had the oppurtunity to interact with a soldier. He commented, "My brave young man, you are risking your life for the country by standing in the way of the artillery fire. You are sure to die. Would you like me to grant you a final wish?"
"Yes, my Fuhrer ", the soldier repiled. "What is it, brave one?"
"That I have the honor of dying with you!"
>!Dont laugh too hard. 200 German soldiers were executed for hearing this and laughing at it.!<
My Grandpa saw the Titanic
From the very beginning, he warned everyone that the ship would sink. But nobody listen to him.
He was a brave man, he never gave up. He warn them again and again on many occasions... Until they kick him out from the cinema.
(Mentions of gore) Once upon a time, there was a very brave but very arrogant man…
This man claimed he could survive anything. He survived falls from various heights, various guns, sharp objects and even acid.
One day, he declared he was going to survive a steamroller. So this brave man went in the roller's path…
He sadly died that day, but the most important thing was he proved that he had guts.
