Brass Jokes
39 brass jokes and hilarious brass puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brass that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Brass Short Jokes
Short brass jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brass humour may include short bronze jokes also.
- I was Christmas shopping the other day and I saw a brass band, with dribble underneath all of their instruments Turns out it was the Salivation Army
- Copper instruments make the symphony sounds so much better than brass. Copper is a much better conductor.
- What do you call a brass instrument that saves its money? A frugal horn. Sorry in advance.
- Some guys beat me up with brass knuckles in broad daylight. It was a pretty brazen act of violence.
- Did you hear about the guy busted for smuggling brass instruments? They charged him with sax trafficking.
- My father wanted me to be a firefighter So he installed a brass pole from my bedroom to the living room. It didn't work. But my sisters both work at the Catwalk
- What do a bull and a brass band have in common? You are in for some pain if you try to honk their horns without permission.
- Daughter's Dance Class Apparently, it's not acceptable to ask a mom if her daughter's dance class has horizontal or vertical brass poles.
- What do you call a politician What do you call a politician that can play brass?
Donald trumpet - Did you know that brass is the product of i**...? It's made from kissing ***CuZn***s
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Brass One Liners
Which brass one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brass? I can suggest the ones about copper and trumpet.
- What's brass and sounds like Tom Jones? Trombones.
- What Do You Call An Arrogant Trumpet Player? A Brass-Hole
- I want to start a all brass quartet with a lumber theme. I'll call it the tuba four.
- My uncle is always bragging about his son, who works in the brass industry. He's my CuZn
- What sound does a brass frog make? Rivet
- I saw a shop called Lasting Impressions, they sell brass knuckles.
- Why did brass and steel team-up together during the war? Because they were alloys.
- Why are brass players good in bed? They know how to tongue, finger, and blow.
- What will happen to a bar of brass if you drop it into a tank of water? It'll zinc.
- Why are trumpets more expensive than clarinets? Brass tax
- What do you call it when a brass player has a heart attack? Coronary trombosis.
- What's a robot's most visited website? *Brass*ers
- Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A: A snake in the brass. - What do you call a brass player that has a lot of energy? Full of cornet-ic energy.
- How a brass instrument player reads a line from Shakespeare's Hamlet. Tu-ba or no tu-ba.
Brass Band Jokes
Here is a list of funny brass band jokes and even better brass band puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the lumberjack yell at the brass band passing by? # #**Tiiiimmmm-bre!**
Brass Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about brass you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trombone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brass pranks.
A Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet.
He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold beer right now!" He gets his beer and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island where beautiful women reside." Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever again." p**...! He's back in his government office.
A man was proudly showing his new apartment to some friends, he had invited over last night.
They go to the bedroom and there is a big brass gong in the corner.
One of the guests asks, "What is that gong for?"
The host replies, "That is the talking clock."
Impressed, the guest asks again, "How does it work?"
The host says, "Watch", and hits the gong hard with a hammer.
From the other side of the wall, someone screams, "For gods sake, you idiot, it's 2 am in the morning."
A young lady is at a home decoration store, and picks out a large mirror with a brass hanger.
The helpful store clerk says, "M'am, you wanna screw for that mirror hanger?"
The girl replies, "No, but I'll blow you for that matching brass end table."
Talking clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
How do you say brassiere in German?
Keepemfromfloppin
