Brand Name Jokes

Following is our collection of symbol humor and brett one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Brand Name puns for adults, dirty properties jokes or clean time gags for kids.

There is an abundance of rebranding jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 24 funniest jokes on brand name. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any brand witze you can hear about brand name.

The Best jokes about Brand Name

I think Trojan is a bad name for a condom brand...

...because of course, the Trojans were a people whose lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls...

If 9/11 had happened in July...

7/11's brand name would have crumbled faster than the Twin Towers.

I was at this party the other day...

...and one of my buddies decided to have me do a magic trick to "liven up the crowd."

So I took a brand new deck of cards and asked for a single, female volunteer. I found the hottest one in the room and got her on the coffee table "stage," asked her if we knew each other in real life, if the deck was new, yatta yatta yatta.

She said yes and I opened the deck and a sharpie marker.

"Write your name on whatever card you pick," I said, and paused as she wrote it down, "And your phone number. I promise this is leading somewhere." Another pause, and she agrees.

Taking the card from her, I held it up in the air and said "Ladies and gentlemen, I just got the number of the hottest girl in the room. MAGIC."

I'm thinking about starting up my own brand and naming it Gametes...

Because sex cells.

There was a snail who took his brand new sports car into the body shop and got a custom paint job.

He asked for racing stripes, flames, lightning bolts…you name it.
But there was one thing about the paint job the body shop owner just couldn't understand.
The snail wanted a big S on the driver's and passenger's doors.
When asked about them the snail said:
When I drive by someone at high speed I want them to say 'Look at that S-car go.'


Is it just me or does the name Elon Musk sound like a cologne brand my grandpa would wear?

The other day I passed a school with a car brand as their name

Can you imagine, who would call a school Tesla

WalMart's own brand of wine

WalMart announced that sometime in 2013 it will begin offering customers a new discount item: WalMart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the wines at affordable prices in the $2 to $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the WalMart brand into their shopping carts but, 'There is a market for inexpensive wine,' said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville. 'However, branding will be very important.'

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the WalMart wine brands and varieties.

The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:


10. Chateau Traileur Parc

9. White Trashfindel

8. Big Red Gulp

7. World Championship Riesling

6. NASCARbernet

5. Chef Boyardeaux

4. Peanut Noir

3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar

2. Grape Expectations

1. Nasti Spumante


The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).


P.S. Don't bother writing back to tell me that this is a hoax. I know possum is not white meat.

LPT: Use a name brand shopping bag as a trash bag while traveling in Europe

Once the bag is full, take some photos of your surroundings looking away from the shopping bag. By the time you look back, you no longer will have trash to get rid of.

Three men and a phone

there are three men in a bar who are all just a bit drunk but in their senses. Their names are Billy, Nicholas, and Josh. A phone rings and Nicholas picks up. it was his girlfriend. she asks Nicholas if she can buy a brand new TV set with his money and he says why not, go ahead. she then asked if she could get a new pool built outside her house with his credit card. Nicholas says it's fine with him. She finally asks if she could buy the latest car with the credit card and he says why not? go ahead. the girlfriend says "thanks, and you left your credit card at my house so i dont need to come and get it." he then hangs up. When he puts the phone down Billy and Josh immediately ask him how drunk is he because he just let his girlfriend spend all his money. Nicholas says lets answer that question after we answer mine first. he asks "Who's phone is this?"

LPT: Don't waste a bit more money for the brand-name bleach; it isn't any different than the bargain brand

They taste exactly the same


I was buying a map of an expensive brand.

When I was looking at the Middle East, I noticed that the countries were improperly named. I thought, maybe its a cheap copy of the brand and not actually from that brand?

So I went up to the shopkeeper, pointed at the improperly named countries in the middle east, and said "Is this fake?"

The shopkeeper replied by saying "No, no, Israel."

New (Periodic Table) Element

A new element added to the PERIODIC TABLE :

Name: Girl
Symbol: Gl
Atomic weight: Don't even dare to ask.

Physical properties:
1. Boils at any time,
2. Melts when handled with love and care,
3. very bitter when mishandled.

Chemical properties:
1. Very reactive,
2. Highly unstable,
3. Possesses high affinity to gold, platinum, diamond, branded clothes and other expensive items.

Nature:
1. Money reducing agent.
2. Volatile when left alone.

Occurrence:
Mostly found in front of the mirrors.

A Jewish Coffee brand named...

Hebrews It

Pork and Leek... great flavor for sausages... lousy brand name for condoms.

The founders of Foursquare came up with the name of the company when using off-brand toilet paper.

Dark jokes Saturday: What is the most offensive brand name you can come up with? Winners get gold!

My contribution:

"Auschwitz" air freshener.

What should name brand Naloxone be called instead of Narcan?

Hero-Out

Why didn't Sigmund Freud buy name-brand weiners?

They were too expenisve


Door to Door salesman - another oldie

A couple was having their morning routine before they head to their jobs when suddenly the doorbell rang. The wife rushed to the door. When she opened it a man with a bucket full of s,,t rushed in and splashed them all over the carpet with a grin. Before the women could react he started his speech:
- My name is Tom and this is the all new (insert random hoover brand here) vacuum cleaners that is guaranteed to clean any type of mess on your floors, carpets or upholstery. If it doesn`t do the job I will eat all of the s,,t!
At that point the women just asked him:
- Mustard or ketchup?
- Excuse me? - he asked with a blank expression on his face.
- Would you like ketchup or mustard with your s,,t, Tom? - asked the woman again somewhat irritated.
- There is no need for that. Just you wait until you've seen the hoover in action. - he replied with a smirk.
- Oh, but there is. We haven't had electricity for a week.

What did Elon Musk name his new brand of perfume?

Elon's Musk

Pronounced 'Dead' on arrival ... oops!

The soon to be new parents known as Mr. & Mrs. D. were so excited, as they were just about to give birth to their brand new daughter, whom they'd already decided to name Dea D..

Just a few minutes later, a healthy baby girl popped out but was unfortunately pronounced 'Dead' on arrival by the attending nurse who apparently had significant issues with letter spacing on medical charts.

I ordered a brand-new sandwich maker online.

Her name is Svetlana.

So there's my friend Pete...

So, I have a friend named Pete, who is a bit of a hippy. He's got plenty of "causes," but he's particularly into animal rights--it's kind of annoying sometimes, but whatever.

As it so happens, he's also into Mediterranean food--all vegan, organic, and locally-sourced, of course. So when his usual store ran out of his brand of bread, it was kind of a big deal. He ended up dragging me all over town, all afternoon looking for some grass-fed, free-range ethnic bread.

It just all turned into PETA Pete's pita PITA.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes