Brake Light Jokes
18 brake light jokes and hilarious brake light puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brake light that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Brake Light Short Jokes
Short brake light jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brake light humour may include short brake jokes also.
- Every time I put my key in the ignition, a light comes on that says, "depress clutch to start." So I lean down and tell the clutch, "Everybody likes brake and accelerater better than you."
- I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Credit to Steven Wright. - Limp bizkit rear ended someone at a stop light Onlookers said it looked like he was going to brake, but he just kept rollin rollin rollin rollin.
- A guys hits the brakes hard on a Maybach at the stop light. Behind him a Geo tries to stop but he can't make it and hits him in the back. On the Maybach's computer: New hardware detected. Install?
- I walked into a car dealership today They told me it would be $30 to replace a brake light bulb
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Brake Light Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about brake light you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean engine light jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brake light pranks.
A city bus driver is doing his route.
After picking up some passengers, an argument about race broke out. Most of the passengers on the bus are getting involved and after twenty minutes of bickering the driver, tired of the argument, slams on the brakes and stops in the middle of the street. Everyone shuts up. He stands up and shouts at them, "I'm TIRED of this. I'm an old man and I can't bear to listen to this arguing anymore. From now on, there's no black, there's no white, got it? We're all the same color. We're all green. Now everyone sit down, dark green in back, light green in front."
*RANT TIME* Please can we stop with the flashing blue outdoor Christmas lights this year ?
Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the w**..., fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the machete under the seat, all while trying to drive.
It's just too much drama, even for Christmas.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
A circus performer is stopped by the police for having a faulty brake light
As he approaches the car, the policeman spots a set of knives on the back seat.
He asks the man why he has them and doesn't he know it's against the law to carry knives?
The man explains that the knives are used in his act. He juggles them.
The policeman insists the man gets out to show him so he stands at the roadside performing his act.
Just then, another car drives by. The driver of the car turns to his wife and says, Thank goodness I gave up drinking, just look how the police do sobriety tests these days.
Classic Cajun joke my grandpa told me.
So Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are heading to the bayou to check the trot lines. Boudreaux hooks his truck to his boat trailer and connects the trailer lights.
He says, "Thibodeaux, Check to see if my brake lights are working!"
As Boudreaux presses the brakes, Thibodeaux says, "Yea, they workin!"
Boudreaux turns on the right blinker and says, "Alright how about my blinkers?"
Thibodeaux says, "Yes, no, yes, no, yes!"
A man catches a cab in a new city
A man lands in a new city and catches a cab to the hotel. As they approach a red light, the cab driver keeps going, not stopping.
Man asks what's going on?
Cab driver responds oh don't worry, my brother always runs through red lights.
They keep going, and the cab driver doesn't even slow down for a stop sign. Man yells what's the deal?, clearly furious.
Cab driver calms him down, reminds him my brother never stops at stop signs. Relax.
Up ahead the next light turns green. Cab driver slams on the brakes, bringing the car to a screeching halt. Man is furious and confused.
Before he can say anything, cab driver says have to be careful- my brother might be driving today!
The fastest cab service in New York!
A man took a ny cab at night and the cab driver was speeding at exactly 100 mph and would not stop at red lights. Alarmed he asked the driver why and the driver said that it was a family business where they guaranteed the fastest service.
Oh ok..
So the man was shocked when at a green light the cab driver furiously slammed in his brakes!!!
Why would you stop so dangerously at a green light??? Asked the man.
Oh sorry man, I told you it was a family business. You never know when one of my brothers might be coming through.
A taxi driver speeds through a red light without even looking
And the passenger says, "whoa, what are you doing?! That was a red!"
The driver replies, "don't worry about it. My cousin, he does it all the time."
The passenger sits back until the driver blows through another red. He practically leaps out of his seat, "what are you doing?! You'll get us killed!"
The driver waves him off, "nonsense. My cousin, he does it all the time."
Then they come to a green light and the driver slams on the brakes and creeps into the intersection before taking off again. Now the passenger is livid.
"What was that?! That light was green!"
The driver nods and then shrugs before replying.
"My cousin. He mighta been coming."
In the hands of an expert..
A tourist takes a taxi in a foreign town. The taxi driver speeds through a red light. The tourist, frightened, asks
"What are you doing?"
The driver answers:
"Dont worry, I am an expert."
He speeds through more red lights, and the tourist, on the verge of hysteria, complains again, more urgently. The driver replies
"Relax, relax, you are in the hands of an expert."
Suddenly, the light turns green, the driver slams on the brakes, and the taxi skids to a halt. The tourist picks himself off the floor of the taxi and asks
"For crying out loud, why stop now that the light is finally green?"
The driver answers
"Too dangerous, could be another expert crossing."
I AM NOT "HAPPY"!
So last week I'm driving in town and a large SUV decides to stop abruptly on a yellow light. I was forced to slam on my brakes and still could not avoid slamming into the SUV. With the airbag in my face and two brand new black eyes, I manage to open the door and step out of my vehicle. I see the drivers side door open and out jumps a "little person". He runs to the back of his SUV and see's the damage and starts shouting "I'm NOT HAPPY!, I'm NOT HAPPY!". I replied to him "If your not "HAPPY" which one are you?
I caught a ride from this stranger...
and we came to a red light, but he zipped right through it. I asked him "Why didn't you stop?"
He replies "Aw, don't worry about it! My brother does that all the time!"
We come to another red light, and he runs that one as well.
"My brother does this all the time!"
We come up on a third red light, but just before we get there, it turns green. He slams the brakes on, smoke coming off the wheels, and we stop just short of the intersection. I ask him "Why'd you stop *now*?"
He looks at me with fear in his eyes, and says "My brother might be coming!"
A man was driving his wife home after a night out, when they were stopped by the police.
“Sir, did you know you were speeding?” asked the officer. “No, I had no idea that I was speeding,” replied the husband. “Of course you were,” interrupted the wife, “you’re always speeding.” The officer looked at the rear of the vehicle and said, “And did you know your brake light is broken sir?” “No, I had no idea that it was broken,” replied the husband. Again the wife interrupted, “Of course you knew it was broken. You’re always saying you’ll get it repaired, but you never have.” The officer began to sympathize for the husband and said, “Does she always talk to you like this?” The wife said, “Only when he’s drunk.”
Two guys are driving down 5th Avenue in Manhattan when they come up to a red light.
The guy driving slams the gas pedal and they go zooming past the red light. His friend looks at him and says, "Hey, you just went through a red light." The guy driving says, "Don't worry about it. My brother does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a second red light. The guy driving slams on the gas pedal and zooms past another red light. His friend is pretty mad, looks at him and says, "Hey man, you just went through another red light. What the heck are you doing?" The guy driving tells his friend, "Don't worry about it. My brother does this all the time." They come to a third red light and the guy driving slams on the gas, zooming past the red light. His friend starts screaming at him, "What the heck? You're going to get us killed! Pull over and let me out." The guy driving screams back at him, "I'm telling you: don't worry about it. My brother, he does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a green light. The guy driving slams on the brakes. His friend looks at him and says, "Are you out of your mind? What the heck is wrong with you? You go flying past three red lights, almost getting us killed, and then you slam on the brakes when you have a green light?" The guy driving looks at his friend and says, "I had to stop; my brother might have been coming."
Two guys are driving down 5th Avenue in Manhattan when they come up to a red light.
The guy driving slams the gas pedal and they go zooming past the red light. His friend looks at him and says, "Hey, you just went through a red light." The guy driving says, "Don't worry about it. My brother does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a second red light. The guy driving slams on the gas pedal and zooms past another red light. His friend is pretty mad, looks at him and says, "Hey man, you just went through another red light. What the heck are you doing?" The guy driving tells his friend, "Don't worry about it. My brother does this all the time." They come to a third red light and the guy driving slams on the gas, zooming past the red light. His friend starts screaming at him, "What the heck? You're going to get us killed! Pull over and let me out." The guy driving screams back at him, "I'm telling you: don't worry about it. My brother, he does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a green light. The guy driving slams on the brakes. His friend looks at him and says, "Are you out of your mind? What the heck is wrong with you? You go flying past three red lights, almost getting us killed, and then you slam on the brakes when you have a green light?" The guy driving looks at his friend and says, "I had to stop; my brother might have been coming."